To move on from mat leave acquaintance

[Fizzwizz345]

First DC now a year old. During mat leave I met another mum who lived close by with first DC of same age.

We used to meet up weekly for coffee and walks then I went back to work when DC was 9 months old while other mum is not contemplating a return until her DC is at least 18 months (self employed)

Met up a few times since my return to work on my day off but doesn't feel the same anymore. We only really ever talked about the DC and I've realised I find it a bit of a tedious topic. Obviously love my DC but dont really feel like discussing every detail around feeding/ milestones then comparing it to what her DC does. Every child is different.

Not sure if I'm the problem as I never seem to be able to make new friends as an adult then when someone does come along, I never feel that enthusiastic or bothered after a while and it all seems like a lot of effort so maybe I'm just super antisocial. I prefer to just potter around on my day off with DC.

In my 20s I would go out of my way to make effort with people (often the wrong people, with disappointing results) now Im older I cant be bothered most of the time and I just find a more solitary life with close family and one or two old friends easier to manage.

With this mum it feels like our circumstances have changed and not much in common aside from DC. I don't get the sense she's that bothered either. My last message got a one word reply so wibu to just let it fizzle out?

Not really sure why I'm asking as dont need permission but I always second guess my approach with friends/ acquaintances as I don't have that many and ones I do have sometimes I overthink things.

I would say not to blank her or do anything that might cause any awkwardness because if your children are the same age they may end up friendly/playing outside etc. It would be handy to be on friendly terms.
Maybe if she suggests meeting up just reply that you are a bit overwhelmed/tired from being back at work and dont want to arrange any meet ups but you might see her in the park/shop centre/soft play etc some day. I'd leave it open and vague for now.

It depends if you want more friends or not. If you're not bothered then let it fizzle. If you want friends you probably need to make some more effort as it does sound like a you thing.

I’ve fizzled out all the NCT gang, bar one. It’s rare you have anything in common once you’re out of the baby trenches.

I ghosted one after she started putting pronouns in her bio and asking us to do the same. Nah. Just illustrated we had nothing in common bar giving birth around the same time

In my 20s I would go out of my way to make effort with people (often the wrong people, with disappointing results) now Im older I cant be bothered most of the time and I just find a more solitary life with close family and one or two old friends easier to manage.

I’m like this too. I feel like my own family and interests fill my life up nicely and to add new friendships I would have to add another day to the week and department to my brain.

Along with that, as we get older we’re not as bright eyed and bushy tailed at what life has to offer and our lives get serious so meet-ups aren’t as exciting.

I can't see my mat leave friendships lasting tbh.

They're good company for now, but it's ok if that's all it is.

I gave one of the group some (outing) assistance when her baby was born which made a huge difference to them, so I like that I'll always be part of her baby's story, but it doesn't need to go past that.

It sounds like the friendship is coming to a mutual end. It happens and it's no-ones fault. Circumstances change, people evolve. It's natural.

If you want to just let it fizzle out, that's absolutely fine. There's no need for a dramatic flounce. Just a slow, natural fade does the job perfectly.

Just remember, that if you live near each other, your children could very easily end up at the same school. So definitely keep it chill and allow a natural fade.

Thanks for responses will definitely keep it chilled as we're very likely to bump into each other and kids may end up at same school etc so can just be friendly and say work been busy etc

Interesting that others feel similar about mat leave friendships too - I guess it's different when it's all consuming and you're in thick of baby stage but once it goes beyond that there's not always common ground

Just let it fizzle, as others said, you'll probably see her around so doesn't seem necessary to make a big deal of ending it. You had something in common at the time, your new babies, but if that's your only common interest, there's no reason why you should be friends longer term.