Losing the plot!

[Colddespiteduvet]

I’m losing the plot as DH is insisting that I’m clearly wrong here. he’s being pretty forceful and I don’t get it.

We are buying a new car. Have found a couple. To part exchange we’d get less than car is worth with private sale.

DH wants to go with private sale. I’m fine with that. He wants to buy the new car now and the put the old car up for sale. I want sell first, then buy.

He doesn’t have a reason for this. But was very vexed that I didn’t agree.

I don’t want a few thousand pounds of our assets sitting on the drive when we don’t know for sure it will sell. The car will depreciate whereas money in the bank will accumulate. If it’s a short time it will be minimal but what if it doesn’t sell?

He says it will sell, at the right price. Auto trader get their prices from sales so they are selling, he said. I said, but we don’t know how many are selling and how fast.

So we don’t know is if ours will sell though. We live very rurally, it’s not in fantastic condition and it is old. I’m concerned it will end up sitting on the drive, it will still need to be insured. I also don’t see what is to be gained by buying first. We have another car that we are keeping, so we’d never be without a car.

So lovely MNs. What do you think? Am I being ridiculous? Are my arguments valid? He is totally convinced I’m just being stubborn and making spurious arguments.

AIBU to want to sell before we buy?

Well, it does seem that people do both and favour both and that my view and arguments are equally valid as his?

Thanks. This is my view and is validating to hear that. Honestly, you’d think I’d suggested something truly ridiculous from his outrage.

Have you tried Motorway? We got a better actual sale price than the original estimate which was as good as a private sale and minimal effort.

How old is your car?

Ive had 2 DC pass their driving tests in the last 6 months (the third has his test on Monday!) so we’ve done a lot of hunting for older cars.

The cheap, low insurance types that are around 10-12 years old have sold very quickly on auto trader. Every car we’ve looked at has had numerous potential buyers too.

If it’s a car that would be suitable for a new driver that’s low to insure then IME I can tell you it’ll be snapped up 😆

But anyway - I think your DH is just new car excited and like a kid at Christmas. He doesn’t want to have to wait to sell the old toy before getting the new one!

Have you seen a new car that you want and afraid that it will get sold before you sell your old car? If so, buy first otherwise you might lose it.

@Colddespiteduvet - the guy turned up to pay and take away and did the tyre kicking thing and tried to barter the price down from what had been agreed on the first viewing. We’d said we wanted a specific type of bank transfer so that the payment could not be cancelled and he tried to change to cheque (which could bounce - this was about 5 years ago).

After about an hour he eventually paid and left. Then we had constant phone calls that something wasn’t right with the car (clanging noises, cutting out, wouldn’t start) so wanted us to pay for “a garage” aka his mate, to take a look and fix any issues. We said no then he turned up at the house the next day with a “heavy” to show us what he meant and demand money. I was getting so stressed out by it all as they were really menacing and dropped into the conversation about DH working nights (it had came up in chit chat when he was viewing the car). We eventually gave him £50 to get shot of him. It really upset me as he knew where we lived and wasn’t the type to play fair.

An extreme example but it’s really put me off bringing buyers to my door again for anything to be fair. We had a similar but less scary example when I sold a dining table and chairs - they didn’t threaten us but wanted to pay less than agreed and wouldn’t pay for the bloody thing and leave for about an hour! I was selling it for £50 and giving the chairs for free FFS (as covered in cat scratches). I never do private sale for anything now!

It’s a small EV so yes cheap to insure and great run around but would new drivers want an automatic EV? That’s my concern. It’s a newish secondhand market so less tested. If it was a petrol car I’d not be so unsure of it selling.

We have seen three we would buy and they are not shifting so no hurry there.

That’s awful. I’m so sorry you went through that. That’s made me want to push for part ex yet alone selling first.

We’ve just sold a car using Motorway , it was quick and easy , and we were very pleased with the price we got. I’d use them again rather than a private sale any day as you know you’ve sold the car .
We did a private sale the previous time, it was more stressful as we didn’t know how long it would take , we got a couple of scam calls ( I can’t remember the exact scam but it was something to do with offering more than it was worth ) and then when it finally sold there’s the handing over of money worry , do we say cash, do we ask for a bank transfer and then move the money quick in case they do some kind of weird reverse thing.
Get a quote from Motorway at least , it saves so much hassle.

Thanks. We may do that.

My question is more about whether my arguments about selling first are as valid as his. He things I’m being ridiculous and there is no validity in wanting to sell first.

If you don’t need the money from the old car to buy the new one, then I suppose there is no need to sell first. But DH needs a good reason to hold back from selling first - otherwise what is the point? Say you keep it on your drive and then reverse into or something. You’ll still need to road tax and insure it - keep the battery turned over etc. seems pointless unless there is a specific need to keep it.

overall I’d say he is BU.

Basically you're worried he wont actually get around to selling it and it will be left to you? That's a valid concern. On the basis that he has form for it, i would sell first.

Selling first means that if you cant sell it reasonably quickly, the option of a part exchange is still on the table.

If it's an awkward model as you've said and its dirty and peeling trim it may not sell as fast as you think. And you've said you like 3 cars and they arent shifting so that would make me worried that mine would take ages to sell as well.

If you're determined to private sell, do it first. If you buy first and for whatever reason your current car breaks, you could be left in a tricky position. If you part exchange there is no hassle.

Thanks.

I think you are both being unreasonable by arguing. If you needed the money from the car sale to buy the new car then it would be understandable. But literally no point in arguing, it really doesn't matter 🤦🏻‍♀️

Well. I didn’t think we were. I thought we both had valid views and it was just a discussion. Then he got cross. I don’t get why it’s an argument either which is my AIBU because he says my reasons for wanting to sell first are so ridiculous and because I didn’t agree with him, it’s made him frustrated.

If private sale is taking ages...then it's set at the wrong price. Some people selling on auto trader price their cars at the top level of what auto trader have quoted.
You need to be realistic in pricing and drop it down a bit.
I've sold about 5 cars on auto trader (the last one being last year) all have been gone within a week.
I would buy then sell...so I'm not without a car

Maybe it's just due to all mine being shite but that has not been my experience at all - I did sell eventually but it was a struggle each time so I have given up.

People promising to turn up who didn't, ridiculous phone calls from shouty people trying to offer £20 for the car etc - it's all just too much for me but perhaps OP has a more desirable car and a thicker skin.

That’s reassuring. It’s an older EV though. Less range than the newer ones and fewer and slower charging places. Still cheap to run and 130 mile range though. Poor condition interior but ok outside.

I’m not sure how desirable it will be. Which is my argument. We have no idea if it will sell so better to test that first.

My boss’ husband tried this one. The car sat on their drive for about 3 years. He ended up selling it for spares or repair, only after she refused to go on another holiday with him until he sorted out selling it. He likes holidays, so……..

I don't think either of you is right or wrong about the particular question you've asked. But I would go for part ex rather than private sale for the reasons given already.

This is the concern I have. It’s unlikely but possible.

Same. An older EV isn’t going to be worth a premium
here.

These aren't normal times because used cars have appreciated recently and there's quite a bit of demand.

I'd put the old one up for sale - nothing to lose if you have a spare car as you said - and guage interest. If it's fairly strong then use that as a sign it will sell and make arrangements for the new car (is there a lead time on that?).

If there's little interest then lower price and be more cautious about timescale for buying new car.