Thinking this is a little unethical/concerning

[Allyouhadtodowasstay]

I recently started a new job at a investment/wealth management company. I work in IT, this is my first time working for a financial services company. I've made some friends but as it's a small company it's very a much a cross-team friendship.

Tonight we went for drinks and a conversation came up about some job interviews on a different team. The person responsible for hiring this role said he had already chosen/offered the job etc. Some of the people I was with decided to find the LinkedIn of the person offered the job. One of the relatively young woman on the same team commented that she didn't have much experience and they could have given the job to her, she meant it is a joke. The person hiring explained that this woman did way better at uni, has experience from somewhere prestigious and then said "most importantly her family are loaded and on my potential client list, this is our in", I thought he was joking but he went on to list everything he knows about her family, and how much money they must have and how he looked on the sold prices for her address and it's a flat which sold for over a million, just really personal information. Someone then found her instagram and all the men (most married) were commenting on how fit she was and how "shaggable" with one guy saying "who cares if she's shit at the job, sit me across from her, I'll help her and I can look at those tits all day" another guy said "what a combo of pretty and hot, can't wait to wank over that tonight". The other woman and I there both told them to pack it in and left immediately, the other woman is young and said it made her very uncomfortable, two men also left with us saying it made them feel uneasy but they didn't call the others out.
Now it's already a white male dominated company, less than 25% of employees are female. The girls who are there already, especially the younger ones aren't treated massively well and this has resulted in many leaving so the number of women is declining. All of the senior roles are held by men, most of the department heads (barring one) are men. HR is outsourced, slow to reply and apparently useless.
On the walk home the other woman phoned another colleague, when she told him of what was said. The reply to the first guys comment was "sounds like something he'd say" and to the second "yeah he was obviously joking".
There are several under 25s in the office, mostly women and this new employee would be one of them.

I said to those I was with I would report it to HR tomorrow, one went silent and then said yeah maybe we should have a word with them first before doing that (this was a guy). The other woman told me it wouldn't be worth my time and the other guy said yeah it's shit they shouldn't have spoke like that.

AIBU to think this absolutely has to go to HR? My DH thinks it's pointless, it happened outside of work, they were just commenting on pictures (but I also think the reason for hiring her seems unethical) and if no one would back me up they'd probably only get a warning if that.

I feel so uncomfortable and I think I'm going to start looking elsewhere!!

Come on now OP, it's a more than just a little concerning. It's downright disgusting.

Report to HR and find a new job!

Write every detail of it down then find a new job and report just before you leave and explain that's why you're leaving, how toxic

I got about half way through. If this is true, write down every word and send to HR tomorrow morning

Report to HR but also, as a word of caution, this scenario would be very identifying to any of the people involved if they were to read this.

It’s disgusting, but, and I hate to say it, this type of thing was very much par for the course when I worked in financial services. I hope things have changed in the ten years I’ve been out of the industry, but in the past, it would have been common for the company to close ranks around the guy and manage out the whistleblower woman. Especially if he’s in a revenue-generating role and the whistleblower isn’t…

@ATerrorofLeftovers this is what I've seen too. I was once so disgusted at someone's racism (it really was awful. I have a thick skin and worked in financial services for years) that I took it up with their line manager and said that I wasn't going to take it further this time but the person needed to be sent on some diversity course or something as it's unacceptable.

They agreed to that but the amount of sexism was awful and that was even the senior managers. I did express disgust when someone brought a sex doll in but I was laughed at and told I was a prude. It had been bought in by a senior manager for someone's birthday.

You MUST report this, otherwise you're letting it happen, like everyone else who stands around and mutters that there's no point doing anything..
Record It all and go to HR. Then start looking elsewhere.

If you're going to look for another job then yes go to HR

Record it all, take it to HR and then to throw the bastard properly under the bus, anonymously send the report to the new employee. Mention that the only reason why he hired her was for her family money and her tits.

Also, mention that he's been stalking her online for months & looked up the value of her property. For good measure, tell her that the men have agreed to take it in turns to shag her so if she's got any sense she'd decline the job.

This is vile, it must be raised.

I wonder if someone cleverer than me could advise whether whistleblowing channels would be more appropriate than HR

Write it down, report to HR and sit tight. Your employment rights on discrimination grounds start immediately - no waiting period - so if they target you for doing this you can sue for harassment. And I expect you’d win.

And THAT'S why I didn't go into banking years ago. It was exactly like that. The men are nicely dressed and grotesque, or silent in the face of it. And yes, they do hire people with a wealth "network" over experience or qualifications because it's exactly what he says, "an in".

These days there are more ways to check out someone's wealth network credentials than purely the school they went to, so of course they're looking at it. But that's how the system works. Investors feel secure with people like them, people known via via and/or someone who went to the same school as them or the same school as their good friend.

Look for another job and report it. Because it'll be easier to find a job while you still have one/have one that isn't making your life a nightmare. Your reporting will likely make nothing change, as is evidenced by the responses of your colleagues when you said it should be reported. None of them agreed. None of them said they'd report with you.

Go to HR but don't expect them to do anything and take care of yourself because they may tell the senior managers you are trouble. In my experience in some places HR are just there to stop the employer losing a tribunal. They probably know what the culture is and are not trying to change it just make sure they protect the company.
You sound very brave and reporting it is the right thing to do just make sure you do it with an awareness of what it might mean for you personally. You may be on your own as well with the other witnesses not wanting to speak up.
Good luck.

The sexist conversation was disgusting but it didn’t happen at work, it was outside working hours and outside the workplace. Quite honestly I can’t see what HR could do, particularly as it’s unlikely that anyone would back you up. Best to start looking for another job.

Let's not kid ourselves, if she is attractive and well connected this will always be part of why she is hired almost anywhere. Those men are so arrogant and safe in their jobs that they actually said their thoughts out loud in front of other women. What a toxic culture. Still worth reporting after you find a new job.
I wouldn't feel concernee about the new young woman. If she posts low cut pictures on social media or worse linked in and makes her fancy connections obvious (open social media profile) she knows how to milk attention. Someone serious about being taken on their own merit will hide connections and only have professional pictures open to google,no bikini etc seen on public SM pages.

The FCA are very focused on culture within firms at the moment. Financial services has overall improved but still has a long way to go.
However it sounds a relatively small firm so I’d suggest you look for a new role and leave if this is how your colleagues behave.

I like your thinking 😆

If they are FCA regulated you may be able to report to them as well as HR. To the poster who said it was said out of office and HR can’t do anything, you’re wrong. But whether they will remains to be seen. It all sounds like. Scene from Industry.

Finance is like this.

You can report it to HR but you'll need a new job.

Connections are always utilised. That's not unusual.

The comments are awful. But someone above said the same. HR aren't there to protect the employees, they are there to protect the Company from claims. A simple, non specific report of "inappropriate things were said by a number of individuals in the bar last night about young female staff" should be non identifying but yes, in my experience, it will be the new female non wealth generator who will be managed out over an established male counterpart so get your ducks in a row and look for something else (outside of financial services I'd say)

How depressing! Is finance definitely the area you want to work in OP? It sounds shit.

How arrogant of the men to discuss this infront of female colleagues. Their mistake in doing so.

However, I am not surprised, because before the Internet, females were also hired for their looks & their intelligence 30+ years ago

It probably will not change anything by reporting it to HR. Your word, against theirs...

Beware of the "old boys network"

I worked in FS for years. HR in that industry exists solely to protect the company, whistleblowers are managed out one way or another. In this case, I don’t think you have too much to go on really. These guys will go route one and say it was a “windup” and they were just messing with you and the other women. Their Director will assure you that he’ll “have a word” and gradually your work life will become hell. You say you started recently, are you still on probation? I’d advise you to look first to protect yourself. Bear in mind that people who talk like this in front of you will do the same behind you too. Sounds particularly toxic, even for FS which, to some extent, has cleaned up its act since the boomtown days.

This, report away but start job hunting at the same time

BTW I don't work in finance

I worked in another male dominated industry & I have heard similar conversations over the years

Some men find it "sport" to be derogatory about females

I do not agree with it, but it does happen