I have a 10 year old DD who has autism (more on the moderate-severe level and she still needs help with pretty much everything). DD’s father hasn’t seen her in about 4 years (there was quite severe DV and a court ruled he wasn’t safe to have contact).
DD really struggles with the school holidays as she thrives off the school routine, so naturally the school holidays are usually horrific and her behaviour is really challenging. It’s difficult to go out in poor weather because she hates getting wet and it’s difficult to go anywhere indoors because it’s usually packed and again, very triggering for her.
We are currently on Easter school holidays and honestly I’m just willing to completely give up after the day we’ve had. Her current thing is high pitch screaming whenever I ask her to do anything and if we have to get ready to go out anywhere (even if it’s somewhere she has asked to go), she has a massive meltdown (screaming, hitting, throwing things) for about 30-40 minutes before even getting dressed, and this continues even if I give her the option of us not going/staying at home instead.
I’ve not been very well myself (I’m undergoing urgent tests for suspected GI cancer which is fucking terrifying) and I’ve just honestly had enough of dealing with this, and I can’t help but feel so resentful of her dad right now for firstly not having to deal with any of this and secondly for not being a decent enough human being to actually be allowed and be safe enough to be a father and positive role model to DD. My parents help me out when they can but other than that it’s literally just me doing everything alone.
AIBU for feeling like this?!