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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To give up my job?

1 reply

Orabee · 04/04/2024 22:00

I started working for my DH's company which he cofounded 2 years ago - company now doubled in size in terms of space and employees. It was supposed to be a part-time job but became full time over a year ago and really struggling to manage family life whilst he works long hours. I had a part-time job before this and life was manageable but didn't enjoy my work environment hence the move. I proposed we recruit some support but might take months to find the right person and not sure I can manage much longer. I have suffered from depression and anxiety in the past and over the past year also have been experiencing perimenopausal symptoms so feel like I am on the verge of a mental breakdown. He tries to understand but is fed up with my outbursts and negativity which I understand. I point out all his mistakes which naturally upsets him and feel like I am dragging him down with me instead of supporting him. I feel like I don't do anything right and we keep having arguments and tension. I just don't enjoy life anymore, don't have interest in spending time with DCs, with him, when I do have a moment I prefer to stay by myself, just need the peace and quiet. Tried exercising, lost interest. Need to lose weight but don't have the time or strength to do much about it. A family health crisis also went on during this time which took a lot out of me plus my own health scare which turned out to be fine so at least much relief there. Lots going on and don't know what to let go of... job or lower life expectations? I feel guilty every day about lack of quality time with my DCs ( 11 and 13) and DH - I am just not the mother nor the wife I had planned to be. I am needed at work and makes it really hard to give up on it. Wish I could do everything but just not possible. Need to stop this constant frustration and guilt. How do I manage this? Has anyone been in a similar situation?

OP posts:
ThisNiftyMintCat · 04/04/2024 23:03

Congratulations on the successful business it's not easy! You are burnt out and need to take a break. Play up your health issue and tell the workplace u need to take 2 weeks off for health reasons. Really take a break, don't log in don't check in, tell DH you aren't interested in talking about work.

When you get back, take a note of what fell apart without you, fix it and write guides / standard operating procedures manuals for how you fixed it. Find someone to promote internally for your role and pass the resources on to them. Change your role to 1 day a week so you can help guide them for a few months but also give them space to do the role in their own way (it will be hard). When you feel less burnt out, get therapy (maybe couples counselling as well).

Good luck OP. Please take a real break.

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