Dream job, imposter syndrome.

[ImposterSyndrome24]

In February I got my dream job after working in retail for over 20 years. I did a BTEC in this field almost 30 years ago but then got together with my husband and had children. His job entailed working away a lot so I worked part time in a job that could be flexible for me to be there for the children and support my husband. I was happy to do this. It suited us.
I've been bored in the old job for a long time so took on more responsibilities and became the 'go to person' when anyone had issues despite not being management because I could get stuff done.
It came to a head recently when my manager became difficult despite me working longer hours for free and doing extra on top of my own job. It was never enough and she couldn't ever say thank you. So I started looking around for a new job. In December I saw a job that was perfect for me. I spent ages on the application. I got through. It was the first proper interview I ever had and it was almost a full day. (I've got jobs on recommendations previously)
I had talked myself into accepting that I hadn't got it after not hearing anything for a few weeks. Then they rang and offered me the permanent role of the two.
I've gone back to working full time but just weekdays which has been a shock. I'm someone who keeps busy no matter what and parts of this job are just being calm and quiet and waiting. That's been tricky for me. But overall I think I'm doing ok and the other staff members are chatty and happy to engage with me. A couple of the adjacent staff have requested me to work alongside which I know is positive. BUT. I still feel like someone is going to come up to me and say 'erm, what are you doing here? You don't belong'
It's not affecting my day to day work. But it's a niggle all the time. How do I get past this?
I hate that I'm so mard about it. Has anyone got any tips for getting past this?
spoiler I have low self esteem thanks to my parents

Hey. I've had similar issues which are almost exclusively down to my dad putting me down for years.

My advice would be, take it a day at a time, then a week at a time and then a month at a time. You'll feel a sense of relief when you get beyond a month and then further relief after a couple of months and so on. Eventually, you'll get to a place where you have done the job for a while and become comfortable that you are there on merit.

Congratulations on getting your dream job!

Reading with interest as I too feel a faker in my new job. But you seem to be doing brilliantly if it's your dream the. You're bound to be giving it your best self and I bet you're shining

I highly recommend watching this YouTube clip of Michelle Obama talking about Imposter Syndrome. I think, as she says, you need to retrain the way you think about yourself but it’s easier said than done!

Write down your successes as and when they happen. (Helps at appraisal time too!)

I’ve recently been promoted to a mid management role from a very different frontline role and I felt like this a lot at the start. I’m the kind of person who has to know every single detail before I’m comfortable giving my opinion. Recently I’ve realised, after working on a project with the senior management team is that you don’t have to know everything, you just have to know how to manage things - and the only skill difference between me and them is confidence. Fake it till you make it. If you are giving it your all you’re doing a good job.

Excuse you… you got your dream job, from your first ever interview - you’re officially incredible!

I’m also in a new job and I just speak to myself like I would a friend or a my sisters - I’ve earned this job and I’m determined to smash it!

Feel the fear and do it anyway. Knowledge, learn, speak up. It gets easier with time and gives you a great sense of achievement to have overcome the odds including your own self-doubt.

Just give it six months until you feel part of the furniture, I'm sure the feeling will go away then

Thanks all. I do appreciate your replies. I'm definitely going to listen to the Michelle Obama vid. She's brilliant.
I do have my first 1 to 1 coming up so at least I'll know where they think I'm strong and what needs more work.
I've been there a few weeks and I drive up to the place still think 'oh my god! This is my life' 😂
Dh is very supportive and keeps telling me they're lucky to have me.
It's crap when you don't feel good enough isn't it? I've raised my kids differently to how I was raised so hopefully they don't get this.
I think part of the problem is that whilst in my last job I managed my own time everyone is treated like untrustworthy kids. And maybe being there so long didn't help.
So thanks all again. It's nice to know I'm not alone in this even though I wish none of you felt this way iykwim x