AIBU to ask what’s the best thing your DIL has done?

[Cookiecrumblepie]

I see so many negative threads about the MIL /DIL thing, I wonder if anyone could share the nicest thing their DIL has done for them? What you love most about your DIL?

it would help me with ideas to improve/strengthen my relationship with my MIL.

I adore my DIL. I have been truly blessed.

My MIL would say giving her the two grandchildren she absolutely adores and marrying her son. My MIL is awesome. She is supportive, takes an interest in our lives without over stepping. She’s wise and has great advice (when asked!), and as she was a working mum herself, DH has grown up in a family where the men do their fair share of the domestic drudgery so he doesn’t need to be asked to stick the laundry on, load/unload the dishwasher, iron school uniforms etc. He’s also supportive of my career and doesn’t prioritise his over mine.

I love spending time with my in laws, we spend most Christmases with them because they are fabulous hosts and so clearly love DC. They are getting older and not in good health now, so when we visit, we do most of the cooking and any physical type jobs they’re not up to these days. It might be putting stuff up in the loft, taking stuff the tip, the latest job was getting years worth of loose change to the bank. We live 5 hours away so I make sure I keep them updated with what the kids are up to. Photos from sports activities, postcards when we’re on holiday, being sure DC send written thank you cards for presents. They’re little things really but mean a lot to my in-laws who are truly wonderful grandparents.

Sure but that's like, 2-3 posts that say that, amongst, what 15? And at least one is clearly joking.

I cook and help out at my MILs. For both of us, doing physical things to help each other is an act of love. When I had my babies, she essentially ran my household whenever she was over so I could focus fully on them. My kids are older now and she still makes us meals so we don't have to cook in the week after work (I'm a lawyer often home pretty late).

When I go to hers, I love to do things that means she can rest and enjoy her grandchildren instead. I make or bring her food I know she likes and it's great when I can see she's enjoying it. If she said that she valued these things about me, then I would feel valued.

Maybe you think that's depressing and like we're using each other. I think it's depressing to think that family members helping each other can only be laden in resentment and grudging.

My ds's girlfriend is lovely. And, crucially, she makes my ds relaxed and happy. Couldn't ask for anything more.

But I would be bloody furious if I discovered she reminded DS about my birthday or Mother's Day.

Or that she had to "put up" with my DS. I would hope she would leave him if that was the case.

My DSs aren't married but both seem settled with partners. They are both absolutely lovely young women. The best thing about them is caring for my sons and making them happy.
As a long time MN user I am anxious never to get it wrong with DILs. They work hard and lead busy lives so I do my best to be supportive and kind but to keep in the background and not make any demands on their time.

@Tukto "They work hard and lead busy lives so I do my best to be supportive and kind but to keep in the background and not make any demands on their time."

That's interesting. What about your sons? Do you have a relationship with them separate to your DILs, or do they come S a package?

I mean, at the risk of sounding a bit corny, and un-MN-y, she makes my DS happy.

She doesn't need to do anything for me.

I like DS' fiance simply because she sits and chats to me even when DS isn't involved in the conversation and sends me stupid memes. She's just generally a nice person.

I think the first couple of posts were really setting a tone, and that being called out by Haydenn changed the type of replies. I think if that hadn’t been called out early we would’ve seen a lot more of that type of thing. Those responses WERE depressing! So whilst you say it’s only 2 or 3 out of 15 it was the first 2 which I think if left unchecked we would’ve seen much more of.

I adore my DIL. She is beautiful, works so hard despite health issues, she puts up with my DS (!), she's funny, independent, has a fabulous family who I've become close to, she takes no shit, she's thoughtful and chatty and loving. I'd actually swap her for my DS if it came to it...! 😆

My ds’s gf is a penniless student but at Christmas bought me some Charlotte tilbury makeup and chocolate. I nearly cried.

She also always gives me a hug and asks how I am. She loves my ds as much as he loves her and to see them together warms my heart.

She’s a lovely, thoughtful girl and even though they’re only young I’d love them to stay together and get married one day!