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Original poster

Would you keep someone who doesn't like you on Facebook?

53 replies

cutiepatootie23 · 04/04/2024 08:49

I can think of at least two people who are on my socials who I know for a fact don't like me. We were friends at one point but for whatever reason drifted apart and I know one in particular watches all I do and doesn't have a good word to say about me. I would like to delete her but I don't think it would go unnoticed and then it would be even more awkward when I have to see her (think school mum type scenario).

Equally I don't really want her knowing anything about me when she's got such an issue (I don't even know why she dislikes me, she just went totally cold one day). Wwyd?

OP posts:
OnHerSolidFoundations · 04/04/2024 09:23

It's radical I know but you can always leave social media you know.

Mushroomsouptonight · 04/04/2024 09:24

cutiepatootie23 · 04/04/2024 09:02

We were friends once. She used to constantly like and comment on things. Send cards to my kids. Support events I'd planned (I ran a community group for a while and she was great).

She did always use to be a bit bitchy and judgey of others "did you see what x put on Facebook the other day" comments. But I didn't think much of it other than she was a bit bored and spent too much time online!

Anyway she just stopped speaking to me. All the previous support and pleasantries gone. I suspect our kids had a falling out at some point but I don't know if that's the reason and since she blanks me in RL I've never asked. She's still always the first to view a story on Instagram though.

Show quote history

Since she blanks you in real life why allow her to see your posts so she can sneer or bitch about them to others. What are you worried about, she doesn't speak to you anyway! You owe her nothing. Woman up and unfriend and block. Then move on.

spiderplant56 · 04/04/2024 09:24

You can set Facebook filters so only certain people see certain things.

So you could set her to not see any posts but she will still be "friends" with you if she checks.

Fraaahnces · 04/04/2024 09:25

That one is past the use by date…

Starlightstarbright3 · 04/04/2024 09:27

you can set your settings to hide your post from …. If you don’t want to delete ..

MolkosTeenageAngst · 04/04/2024 09:28

I would just delete, but if for some reason I couldn’t I would put them on restricted access and heavily control what they could view. On Facebook at least you can change settings so specific ‘friends’ can’t see photos/ updates/ mutual friends etc, not sure if you can do the same on Instagram.

HurryupHenry · 04/04/2024 09:30

It’s bizarre to me that you would let someone that you don’t interact with in real life to see what you post on social media. Even worse if they openly dislike you. It’s as if you are happily giving her ammunition.

What kind of stuff do you post? What is she seeing?

Original poster
cutiepatootie23 · 04/04/2024 09:39

HurryupHenry · 04/04/2024 09:30

It’s bizarre to me that you would let someone that you don’t interact with in real life to see what you post on social media. Even worse if they openly dislike you. It’s as if you are happily giving her ammunition.

What kind of stuff do you post? What is she seeing?

I'm not a prolific poster, I certainly don't put drama or personal things up. Mostly just things of the kids, days out, holiday snaps and so on.

I know she talks about it because I occasionally see her husband on the school run (he's absolutely fine and still chats) and he'd say things like "oh wife said you've been to xxx today did you have a good time?"

So odd.

OP posts:
babaisyou · 04/04/2024 09:40

I'd put her on a restricted profile so you are still friends but she doesn't actually see anything. I've done this with a couple of people in a similar situation.

Original poster
cutiepatootie23 · 04/04/2024 09:41

OnHerSolidFoundations · 04/04/2024 09:23

It's radical I know but you can always leave social media you know.

No need for sarcasm. I know it's not cool to admit to actually enjoying social media but I do. Plus it allows me to keep in touch with friends and family over the country and I find out about a lot of events going on locally.

OP posts:
PotatoPudding · 04/04/2024 09:42

If you really feel deleting would cause a problem, just set it so they can’t see your activity. I have this for a couple of extended family members.

babaisyou · 04/04/2024 09:42

OnHerSolidFoundations · 04/04/2024 09:23

It's radical I know but you can always leave social media you know.

OP hasn't indicated that she doesn't want to use facebook for other reasons or has general issues with social media.

Why would she leave social media just because of a couple of people she dislikes, when it's easy to just either delete or restrict what they can view?

Willmafrockfit · 04/04/2024 09:43

it is not worth this paranoia in your life.
just block and delete, unfriend

Willmafrockfit · 04/04/2024 09:44

if she has the nerve to directly question you just say you did a cleanse, or whatever people call it, a cull

user1471556818 · 04/04/2024 09:44

No you pick who is on your Facebook.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 04/04/2024 09:45

I had this recently. An old “friend/acquaintance” I knew for a year in school and then we reconnected through FB when I was 30. We saw each other a few times then fell out recently and she blocked and deleted me (posted about this here).

I then had a very strange message from her on Messenger after I’d bumped into her near where she lives where she confronted me. This was about 3 weeks ago and I’d assumed it was all over, the drama. Basically warning me to stay away from her as she’d never liked me and had only stayed in touch due to our mutual school friends. This was backed up by a message from her DH saying she and he had never liked me (I’d only met him twice!) and to stay away and threatening police action! I immediately contacted a retired detective friend of mine to ask his advice and he said to keep a record of all the messages I’d received and to report it I got more.

The strange thing is with this woman is she kept on banging on about how much she liked me when we saw each other so I can only assume she was lying recently! Bizarre.

Anyone who doesn’t like you on any social media or a place where they can email you just block and delete them. Why would you want them knowing about your life and vice versa?

muggart · 04/04/2024 09:51

I would change the settings so she's still your friend but can't see anything you post on Facebook. I think you can categorise her on FB as an acquaintance instead.

SedentaryCat · 04/04/2024 09:58

Delete and block.

I generally have a cull of my FB 'friends' every six months or so. Anyone I haven't spoken to, either in real life or on FB, gets deleted.

I don't want randoms knowing details of my life.

Noshowlomo · 04/04/2024 10:00

I recently deleted 350 friends off Facebook and have 125 friend now, that are family and close friends. It’s been liberating

Noyesnoyesok · 04/04/2024 10:02

OnHerSolidFoundations · 04/04/2024 09:23

It's radical I know but you can always leave social media you know.

Why the sarcasm?How unnecessary!

muckymayhem · 04/04/2024 10:30

If you don't want them to know they've been blocked just set any new posts to "all except bad friend" I've got that on at the minute for someone who has pissed me off. Other people I've fallen out with I just unfriended and someone I detest who kept appearing as a friend suggestion I blocked so I don't have to see her smug face popping up! Grin

MorningSunshineSparkles · 04/04/2024 11:07

Are you a people pleaser? The only people that would not know what to do in this situation are those that think it’s their duty in life to bend over and take whatever the world throws at them.

Lupuswarriors · 04/04/2024 11:09

Ive got peoppe on fb I can't stand but like you...would be awkward to delete! So I selected to unfollow them which means I don't see any of their posts and I changed my own post settings which blocked them from seeing them so they are never updated on what I'm doing but we are still 'friends'.

betterangels · 04/04/2024 11:10

This is what friends list culls are for. It's time for a spring clean...

Original poster
cutiepatootie23 · 04/04/2024 11:23

MorningSunshineSparkles · 04/04/2024 11:07

Are you a people pleaser? The only people that would not know what to do in this situation are those that think it’s their duty in life to bend over and take whatever the world throws at them.

No I don't think so. However I can't help but think that by deleting her I'm feeding the drama. She will notice because she notices everything on Facebook and then suddenly I'll become the bad one for deleting her. If I knew what her issue was it would be easier.

Genuinely I'm not that bothered either way but I have a few people on social media who I'm sure are just lurkers who don't particularly like me in real life and I just wondered how other people deal with it.

OP posts: