DD going out with family friend for the day.

[Lemonsandlime9]

I’m attending a family funeral on Friday and my DD who is 4 will be going out with a family friend and her sister and 2 young child children for a day out which will involve a 30 minute drive to a farm. My DD has only ever been out with her grandparents before without me and I’m feeling quite anxious about it. I’ve know family friend for years and trust her but I’m still worried. Aibu?

Massively she’s doing you a huge favour and taking your dc on a fun day out!

Worried about what she will have fun without you?

At aged 4 she will have a great day. Mine was off in reception at just turned off and self confidence to go socially into any situation.

This is great for her. Wave her off and tell her to have fun and then go around the corner and cry if you must. Mine was a year old when I did this - actually a bit less

You've got other things on your mind (a funeral), and your brain is hyper-fixating on the day out, rather than the funeral (and presumably the loss of a family member you liked?) as a mental self-preservation strategy.

Your DD will be absolutely fine, probably spoilt rotten, and will have a lovely day. And even if she doesn't, your family friend will probably have the good sense not to tell you.

I hope the funeral goes okay. Best wishes to you OP.

YABU. She will be fine. What are you worried about?

She’ll be fine. Very surprised she hasn’t done something like this before though? And surely she goes off to nursery or school anyway.

It’s possible that dealing with a death in the family is making you a bit more emotional and protective of her than usual.
She will be fine. Don’t let her feel that you are anxious.

You need to explain what you are worried about before anyone can tell you whether they think your worries are reasonable or unreasonable.

Worried about what?

Thanks everyone. Think I’m just worried as I’m not there to watch her and keep an eye when she’s running around etc and also her going in someone else’s car and the drive . Perhaps I’m being over protective. She did start school in September and I feel fine about that, just hasn’t been on any day trips without me or her grandparents being there yet

It’s good for children to spend time with other people, both extended family and members of their wider community. This is how they grow up to be well socialised, rather than finding themselves, in their teens, unable to hold conversations.

Perfectly normal to feel anxious, I hated my DC going anywhere without me or my DH, but you get used to it, but you never stop worrying.

She will have a blast!

I understand perfectly OP. Every mum I know would be anxious about the first non family day trip for a young child. It's human nature and a very necessary part of our protective instincts. Obviously that part of evolution doesn't apply to some people on this thread, but that's Mumsnet for you.

Hi OP, I think it's normal to feel a bit anxious about this, but she will be fine!

I once took my friend's two boys on a day out with my children, whilst she was working. I forgot to reapply suncream and they were a little redder than they ought to have been when I handed them back. But they were fine and are grown adults now. Plus my friend is still speaking to me.

There are a lot of over anxious mothers on here this week.

She'll obviously be fine.

I would feel the same, I panic they’ll run off or get lost etc but they will be fine and I’m sure they will have a great day out. I find I am more careful looking after other peoples kids!
My friend had a friend look after her child while she was at her spouses funeral and her anxiety was through the roof about it. In the end my husband took him for part of it to relieve her mind. It’s really hard. I hope it all goes well and your child has a lovely day.

Of course YABU. Sorry.

I think your friend will be exhausted after and is doing you a huge favour! I suggest you buy the friend a bottle of wine/some beers/some chocs or flowers or something to take over when you collect your dc to say thank you!

I am more careful looking after other peoples kids!

So am I.

Pretty sure the OP’s friend will be too.

(Everyone understands how anxiety-inducing it can be to leave your child in someone else’s care. Generally we need to push past that feeling to allow children to face new challenges.)