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AIBU?

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No contact in laws

3 replies

oasisvibes · 03/04/2024 08:00

DH and I have not been in contact with his parents for 6 months. Having been together 13 years, this wasn't a quick thing, it was the result of over a decade of toxic behaviour, causing upset and even manipulation between us in our marriage. The toxicity was magnified when our DS came along 10 months ago. MIL was demanding, possessive and domineering to merely scratch the service. Amongst this, she was talking about me to anyone who would listen and it got back to me that she was calling me all the bitches under the sun whilst me being PP and unwell after birth. During the newborn days, she also tried to play DH against me when I wasn't present. It was a 13 year crescendo essentially to us eventually not taking anymore and ending all contact.

Since, she hasn't made contact with us until Easter. She sent a gift for DS with a message written on it saying she loved and missed him. DS is obviously unable to read, so this passive aggression was clearly aimed as me/DH. We haven't opened the gift.

We wish to maintain the no contact but I don't want to continue having these messages delivered. MIL even got someone else to leave it on the door for her! Any advice please or anyone been in/still in a similar position?

OP posts:
BlueEyesBrownHair · 03/04/2024 08:04

Just ignore it. She will stop

YouveGotAFastCar · 03/04/2024 08:07

Yeah, from someone in a similar position, ignore.

We’ve moved on to them sending labelled printed photos now 🙄

Just dispose of them. Eventually she’ll stop.

LookItsMeAgain · 03/04/2024 09:03

Return the gift.
You don't want her in your lives so you return the gift.
You leave a note with the returned gift saying that you no longer want any contact with her and she is no longer welcome in your lives. Getting someone else to deliver the gift was akin to sending a flying monkey, because she knew you wouldn't accept it if you saw her delivering it so she got someone else to do her bidding for her.

If you ignore the gift, she won't know that you're ignoring it - better to send it back to her as it says very clearly "We don't want this. We don't want you in our lives".

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