To think we are running out of time?

[NeedingAGoodNap]

I’ve been with my partner for about a year, however we have known each other for about 22 years. I am 34 and she is 35. We have always had feelings for each other but had many missed opportunities. However we both know we have meet our person.

We would love to have a child together but I just don’t know if it’s realistic given our ages?

I have a dd who is 3.5 years old so we haven’t been rushing the relationship. They have only recently meet and while it’s going well I don’t want to rush moving in together etc.

There are so many steps before we are really ready - more time for my daughter, moving in together, buying a place together, potentially getting married, finding a donor. It’s a lot!

AIBU to think it’s not realistic and I am “one and done”?

YANU for sure. You may be able to have a child for many years to come, though it’s never guaranteed of course. A lot of people would love to be in the situation you have described.

However, if you are only thinking in terms of your own ability to have children then you should let your partner know. It sounds like her age is a deal breaker for you and if so, you should set her free to meet someone else.

What is the ‘donor’ part of your situation?

Sorry should have mentioned we are both women. Hence would need a sperm donor.

My daughter was conceived naturally with my ex (male) so this whole process of thinking about ivf and donors is new to me and very daunting

It's not that unrealistic I don't think!
All those things can be achieved within say the next 5 years. You could start researching donor possibilities now and thinking how you want to approach that.
Moving in and marriage from eg 2.5 years still means you're 36,37 or 38? Definitely doable I would have thought.

Yeah maybe that’s a good idea to start researching options now rather then starting from scratch in a year or so