Legal custody of baby (not exh) if something happened to me

[Sauvblanctime]

I’ve asked my exh (dad to our two boys) if anything happened to me and dp, would he take our baby on so she could be with her siblings.

has anyone else asked this? He was an awful husband, but is an excellent dad. She knows him, she’d be with her brothers, and I know he would take care of her.

how would I get this done legally?

Has he actually agreed to this? and the other father?

They both have yes, my dp knows he’s a good dad, my parents are in their 70’s and my partners parents live over an hour away.
this way, she gets to go to the same school as her brothers, she gets to see them as often (actually would be more) than she does now. She adores them, as they do her. I couldn’t bear that they were broken up

Put it in both your wills with financial provision for her and him named as her legal guardian
Whilst it’s not legally binding, unless there is a good safeguarding reason why your Ex should not be her guardian social services will honour your wishes (if he still agrees to it obviously)

Ok fab, thank you.

he’s said he’s happy to, to facilitate the relationship. Plus her brothers adore her, she he has seen that

This is what Bob Geldof did for Paula Yates and Michael Hutchence’s daughter Tiger Lily.

Is her biological father named on her birth certificate and therefore have parental rights?

I don't think your posthumous wishes would stand up against her father's parental rights if he wished for his daughter to live with him even if it was in your will.

Naming a guardian in a will does not mean the child will definitively go to them. It must expressed your preference.

Are there other relatives on her father's side that might wish to take custody?
There was a court battle from Michael Hutchence's parents to have custody of Tiger Lily (which they lost in the end).

I was just thinking about that.

He said something like "This child had lost both her parents so I did want any father would do, scooped her up and brought her home".

There was a court battle from Michael Hutchence's parents to have custody of Tiger Lily (which they lost in the end).

It was his half sister and her mother (not Michaels mother) who fought for custody, they never stood a chance.

Should have made it more clear, should something happen to us both.

I think your words ”if anything happened to me and DP” in the second line of your OP were pretty clear! Don’t apologise for other people’s reading comprehension fails.

Ah right, that makes more sense.

It still isn't legally binding - if social services has any qualms or if another close relative made a claim then it still wouldn't be guaranteed that it would be him. Also if you died first, your partner could change his will to name someone else.

But assuming unlikely to be any social services issues given he is an involved father to your older sons then I'd suggest openly talking about it to other relatives so that they know what your wishes are and gives you time to discuss any worries they might have (which is likely to be things like would your ex still ensure she could see her paternal grandparents/aunts/uncles etc).

You should think carefully about financial arrangements as well as ensure you and your partner both have life insurance and that your ex husband would have access to sufficient funds from it to be able to cover the cost of raising your youngest child and the cost of the older ones while also protecting any funds that could be left for them to use at adulthood eg so that your ex husband can't spend it all on himself but does have suitable funds to cover all child costs.
Take professional advice on writing your will from a solicitor - don't skimp and try and write one yourself online, you need it to be correct!

It's if they both die.