Help! I can’t stand my husband anymore

[Littlepumkin]

hello!

Besides many arguments on a daily basis, my husband has a new way of making me feel like a shit - putting blame on me for everything but literally everything!

for this one I think I need your help, let me know if AIBU?

So, I have signed a contact with a photographer to take photos of our DS but in return they will use the photos for media purposes etc but in return we get professional and beautiful pictures of our DC for free.

That all finished weeks ago and now he randomly got very worried that they will sell the pictures of our DC and make money of it adding what kind of mum am I to sign a contract like that as he said “I am portraying to be a mum who is really protective but look what you did now”

honestly, the way he makes me feel ….
constantly blaming me for even the smallest things but then most of them didn't affect my mother skills or our DC privacy but this he knows this one is going to hit me hard
thank you

I'd have only done that with his agreement, not everyone has the same opinion on the distribution of photos of their child.

He knew about it he wasn’t against it at that time, why making me feel like this now after it’s signed?

I wouldn't want pictures of my children used for promotional purposes either. I would likely keep coming back to it as the discomfort doesn't just go away. I would not have signed the contract without my H's agreement.

Sounds dodgy to me... How much is a photo session if you pay, £200/300? Instead you have "free" photos (the cost is not knowing what your child's images could be used for or who's hands they could end up in). I wouldn't be pleased with my wife in this situation either, imo it shows poor judgement. Also, not running it by the other parent shows the same. Sorry :-/

But did he know about it BEFORE you agreed? If not, then maybe it's just taken him a bit of time to realise what the repercussions might be. If he was informed before and he didn't say no, then he's as much to blame as you are and you should tell him as such.

The photography isn't really the issue here. The issue is that he makes you feel like $hit and that's not ok.

He knew yes.

It’s just an instagram thing, to promote your business you are looking for models.
It’s not a dodgy photographer as I have checked her and her work before, she got lots of experience.
I mean people pay 1000£ and all their children photos end up on Instagram, that’s where the majority of the professional photos end anyway to promote their business - on social media.

I wouldn’t be happy with that either.

You can't stand him but don't want to separate, is that right?

What do you want?

I did a similar thing with DD (now 26) when she was young for a photographer who was trying to set up her business but couldnt afford models. She did some truly stunning pictures of DD, and they were used to promote her business. DD loves the fact that she was a "child model"! Like you, I thoroughly checked her out, and it was fine.

However, I am more interested in the other things he is blaming you for. I am guessing that every single thing he forgets is your fault, every thing he gets wrong is your fault, every queue, every wrong turn, every late bus....

YABU

Since he knew about it and was fine about it before you did it then YANBU and he's being an arse. Also, all the people on here going I wouldn't like that need to have a look at their and their families social media and see how many photos of their own dc are out there before casting stones. Ffs she had a few free professional photos taken. The bigger picture is you know you don't want to stay married to this arsehole so start making a plan to get out now. He won't get better, only worse.

I would say

"Why didn't you speak up if you had a problem with it? I did it because you agreed"

Also, people saying "I would hate it", well fine. So dont do it. Presumably you would also not allow your child to be in the latest M&S Xmas ad or whatever, no matter how much they were being paid for it. Again, fine, your choice.

But the OP was happy with it, discussed it with her husband who didnt have a problem with it and so went ahead**

Very different to her coming home and presenting him a fait accompli.

** And by saying he had no problem with it, I would suspect that it was a case of she told him about this idea, he didnt care either way or possibly wasnt even really listening, so said "Yeah, if you think its ok" and she went ahead.