To want To Work while DS rests after Op

[Charliesunnysky10]

I took my 16 year old son to hospital Easter Monday with stomach cramps - he was admitted after being diagnosed with apendicitis and had surgery to remove it today. He's still quite poorly post op - the wait in A&E wiped us both out and I've just had a rollercoaster few days. I called my boss from A&E Majors yesterday to ask if I could work from his bedside - I reconcile accounts, and DS had a cubicle. I have no leave left as my DF had an op in Jan and I took my remaining 2 weeks off to care for him. He said it wasn't appropriate. I explained I have no leave left and am struggling financially so can't afford to take unpaid leave. He said not to worry about today and to focus on DS, which was nice, although a little ambiguous. I feel sick at the thought of leaving DS here tomorrow and Thursday - he will be in at least until then. We've no family nearby. The nurses are lovely but he's on a busy ward and the nurses can't be everywhere. I've been here to help him drink, keep him comfortable and reassure him. He's missing his girlfriend, sports, and knows it'll be a few weeks before he can train again. He's in a side ward and I messaged my boss again to ask if i can work in his room. He said that he's already explained it's inappropriate. I know I've had little sleep which isnt helping but I feel so anxious and stressed. I just want to be able to work and be here for DS these next couple of days. Am I being unreasonable?

Are you sure your 16yr old son actually wants you by his side all the time?

Was just coming to say this. I had my appendix out at 16 and it wasn't a keyhole job in those days it was a proper incision. Apart from accompanying me in the ambulance then having to get get two buses home, there just was no need to have a parent with me. I don't recall having any trouble eating or drinking and we were positively encouraged to get out of bed and walk about the following day after the anesthesia had worn off. The other patients were mostly older but perfectly good company. I did have a full time job at the time so maybe we were seen as more of an adult in those days. Certainly I had a couple of friends come and visit me but there was really no need to have my mother sitting by me.

Hes 16. He Will cope. Can't his girlfriend or a couple of his mates go in to him.

Ah I feel for you but my employer wouldn’t allow this either. We can work from home but working in public is not allowed. No working from cafes etc.

youll be entitled to parental leave etc but it’s unlikely to be paid.

As others have said at 16 you don’t need to be at his bedside he will be fine, completely understand you wanting to be there for him but he will be ok. I would go to work as you can’t afford anymore leave. Does he have a phone? You could always call him on your breaks to check in

Thank you all, I'll take compasionate/parental leave. He said this will be ok x

When does your leave allowance reset? Ours is in line with the financial year so just reset. We can also (with management consent) but additional days - would that be an option?
Hope your ds is feeling better soon.

I would assume the parental leave would be unpaid though?

@Notamum12345577 It will, but he's struggling a bit at the moment with pain and I'd rather take the hit. Its easy to say hes 16, leave him to it but it's been a very tough 36 hrs in agony, seen some very upsetting things A&E/majors and the ward he's on is very elderly gentlemen, some with dementure, crying out. Not a place for his friends to hang out with him.

I sympathise with you but my DS was 16 and had major kidney surgery. He was in hospital for 2 weeks and as I was a teacher it was impossible for me to take time off work. I visited him every day after school. However, as NCForQuestions suggests, I think you should think of taking sick leave yourself. I know I took two days off - it hit me that I was stressed when I discovered that I had left the car unlocked with the lights on overnight.