Please tell me this behaviour is in the minority

[Toomuch33]

Twice now in recent years I've had men reject me for a relationship, saying they 'only see me as a friend ' even though they slept with me and such. Anyway, in both cases I was fortunate to quickly meet other men I liked.
I knew both the men in a social capacity and when they found out that I liked/had been on a date with another man they pretty much had a go at me.
I wish I had had the backbone to tell them where to go as they had absolutely no right.
They had rejected me, they didn't want a relationship with me and I had every right.
One of them even told me 'I really like you deep down you know'.
My other date didn't work out and I stupidly accepted the first rejector's invite to go round to his house (the one who told me he'd really liked me deep down)
3 weeks later he told me he'd 'gone through depression and realised he could only see me as a friend', urgh, yeah right.
The men were mid 20s which can explain the immaturity to somewhat I despair.
Why I entertained them I'll never know. They were genuinely angry even though they had rejected me.
Has anyone else experienced this? Honestly praying this isn't a common thing.

Perhaps don’t sleep with anyone until you know they (and you) want some sort of relationship?

I know I also brought this on myself! Sadly I think I'm going to have to do that from now on.

Anyway, in both cases I was fortunate to quickly meet other men I liked.

This seems a bit like you jump into things, and calling it fortunate to meet other men quickly makes it sound like you need to be able to be ok being alone first before you jump in.

I think these idiots were keeping you as some sort of back up/insurance policy.

Like, they'll keep you on ice in case they can't find anyone better, but neglected to tell you that you had to stay single and celibate until they decide to choose you, you lucky, lucky, lucky thing you.

Or, y'know, they were some other type of arsehole.

I think it's certainly a game some men play. I also think you will learn to recognise the kind of men who play it, though.

When I was in my mid-late 20s, I (foolishly) had a slight rekindling of a relationship with an ex, who I'll call Tom, who had (twice!) hurt me very badly a few years previously. He messed me around badly and made it clear that he didn't want a relationship - I was gutted. Around the same time, I had a FWB set-up with someone else, a man 15 years older than me who I'll call Paul, who had also made it very clear that he didn't want a relationship - that was totally fine, as I didn't want a relationship with him either and had been equally clear about it. He had also just moved to a city three hours away, so obviously would have been a non-starter even if I'd actually wanted anything more.

Then I met the man who is now my partner. Both Tom and Paul reacted incredibly badly and acted like they'd somehow been betrayed. Paul made lots of unpleasant and disparaging comments until I told him to fuck off and never contact me again. Tom said me meeting someone had made him realise that he actually loved me. He clearly fully expected me to say that I would dump my boyfriend to get back with him. When I didn't, he announced that he didn't ever want me to contact him again because it was 'too painful' just to be friends, so I shrugged and didn't contact him again. Needless to say, he then contacted ME a couple of months later and was massively offended when I pointed out that he'd said he didn't want to be friends.

Twenty-one years later, I'm still very happy with my boyfriend😁God knows what happened to Tom and Paul, the pair of dickheads.

It's very common

They where keeping you as their 'just in case'

I remember my ex did this-i was expected to do the pick me dance,while he was fucking around and making his choices of which woman he wanted

I pulled up my knickers,then my self respect and walked-i met my now dp a few weeks later

When ex found out,he went looney-i was the love of his life,he wanted me and only me,he wanted me back-you know the rest

I laughed and carried on walking so he changed tack and I'm a loon,am mental,he didn't want me anyway and I'm a slag-etc

I'm still with dp,he's still shagging around and letting intelligent women down with his lovebombing and headgames

Its all a game to them

What do you mean sadly?