Not sure whether I am being unreasonable or not or am I just expecting too much?

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Talking today in the staffroom, general chit chat etc, and we got on to the subject on what we expect off our DC.

Me - I expect DC to make sure they have everything they need for outside of school activities, to have their school bags sorted, I make their lunch but expect them to pack it in their lunch box, I sort their clothes out, iron what needs ironing and put them on coat hangers, also pair socks and sort knickers out but expect DC to put them away. Also they have to make sure that they put their clothes to wash. They have to tidy their room, but I polish and hoover.

My DC are 8, 10 and 13 (all girls)

The lady I was talking to was flabberghasted. her 16 yr old son does nothing for himself. She admitted in to getting a shirt out of the wardrobe already ironed and hand it to him! She actually hands him his packed lunch and drink to him - she did say that if she didn't give it to him then he wouldn't do these things himself! She does all his cleaning and tidying etc. She also has an 8 yr old DD but never commented on what she does.

Am I expecting too much from my DC?

PS We both work similar hrs, the only difference is I have 1 more DC!

YANBU

I was ironing my own shirts at 13, and could cook for the family at 16. I'm a bloke.

She is raising an idiot who will expect his girlfriends to do the same for him and wonder why he is single. He will never be able to take responsibility for himself.

YANBU! Her ds is so not going to be a great catch for any future wife

no, you're not expecting too much.

it is quite common though for mothers of boys to expect them to do less than do mothers of girls.

I despair of women like this. how does she think her son will cope when he goes to university / leaves home?

Indeed, scotia. All three of us boys married women who can't believe their luck!!

Oh thank goodness for that, its been playing on my mind all day!

your coleague is crazy and subjecting some other poor woman to a life time of looking after her son because she's mollycoddled him.

My Mum gave up ironing for anyone else when I was 12 and we all had to do our own from then on (my younger brother has never worn an ironed item since ]grin]

What a great husband HE's going to make

I think you are right - this isn't about parenting as such, it's about preparing the kids to be self-sufficient and to be able to cope for LIFE (when they move out / go to uni / whatever)

A 16yr old needs his clothes handing to him?! She's insane to let that carry on!

Lol triathlete, my dh is not bad round the house, but I realised the other day that he's never cleaned the toilet! That's my next mission ;)

I would get up for the school bus at 7am whilst the rest of the house was still sleeping, make my dad some porridge, sort out my own lunch, polish my shoes and then get on my way!

I now look at my kids and am going to do the same thing - it really encouraged me to be independent and made life so much easier when I left home.

By the way, my parents were there for what I consider the important things eg always at parents evenings, concerts we gave, picking us up and dropping off from afterschool activities, interested in our lives etc.

It did leave me wondering just a bit. Have to say 2 wks ago DD2 forgot her swim bag - she had it all ready just forgot to put it in the car. I did go back home for it - its not that I am a heartless bitch or expect my DDs to do everything!

Saturdays in our house were spent cleaning and doing the chores. By around age 11 I was doing all the week's washing for a family of 7 and by a couple of years later was cooking soup/stews etc for the freezer for the family to eat through the week. This was all completely unsupervised btw. I don't remember what age we started having to help out, but it was quite young. Hoovering, dusting, tidying up, doing some shopping (in those days it was a trip to the greengrocer, butcher, fishmonger etc), sweeping the outside stairs, cooking etc etc.

I hated it at the time and it seemed that none of my friends had to do this stuff. But I suppose that I am glad that I left home equipped with this experience.

I would say YANBU. The object of the exercise is to raise independent young adults.

my ds 3.5years sets the table very willingly,puts his shoes and coat away when he comes in from play and makes breakfast with me!
we did chores for our pocket money by 9 and 10years old we knew how to "earn" more if we wanted something and we helped without being asked it was never a big deal although we knew our class mates did not do the same. it seemed to be a "large" family thing in my day

one word of caution tho my sisters 4ds all willingly help
her 10yr old recently made her a cup of tea purely out of thoughtfulness and dropped the boiled kettle down himself

put mme off teaching my boy that one!

My boys are 7 and 3, they tidy their rooms before bedtime,one will set the table,put shoes on shoe rack and hang coats on hooks amongst other things.

YANBU- She really is not teaching him to be independent and as others have said I pity his future wife!!
I am determined that my boys will be just as self sufficent and capable as my girls, they all see DH do household chores and they will learn to do the same

MIL totally spoilt DH. he had such a shock when he married me he'll do the hoovering at gunpoint and i have to threaten to grill the budgies before he'll clean their cage. btw they are his pets. i never wanted them so the deal was he would sort them out. he's done it twice...... i'm too nice and do it but only because the birds would suffer if i didn't DS on the other hand has made me breakfast in bed more times in his short life (he's 10) than DH in our whole relationship.... he's crap at keeping his room tidy but he will bring in buckets of coal and light the fire in the evenings. i have him well trained and DH is getting fed up by being shown up so there's hope yet!!

I am so glad! When I first started to get DDs involved DH thought I was really harsh as he never lifted a finger when he was at home. (that really showed when we first started living together)

I had a x bf whos mummy kins did EVERYTHING for him! She cooked, cleaned, washed, ironed, taxied him, paid for his car, clothes even when he was working and had his own cash, when we moved in together we worked the same amount of hours, i did all the house work and still he use to have a go at me for not ironing his clothes ready for tomorrow!!! Thats why he is a EX bf! Shes raising a boy who's gonna be in for a big shock when he gets into the real world!!
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