Unhygienic visitors

[Jojononame]

Family have just left after staying with their 12 year old GC who wets the bed. Not totally uncommon at that age and I understand that it’s a medical condition but surely the child is old enough to take their wet pull up and put in a bag and into the bin. They were leaving them on the spare room floor not even folded over for days. After a few days I noticed the smell and Instead of embarrassing the child I asked the GP (not elderly!) to make sure they were binned immediately. I know it’s a medical condition but it’s bad enough risking mattresses and having to machine wash duvets when they leave that I want to ask them not to bring their GC next time. I don’t want my house stinking of urine.

Medical issues or not basic hygiene standards are not much to ask.
I'd have thought at 12, unless the DC has other problems from preventing them from doing so they'd know not to leave urine stained items on the floor, if not then one of the GP's should go in and check that they are taken and thrown away.

You're not a servant, and IMO you are not being U.

That’s just rank and plain dirty behaviour. My DS(9) still wets the bed and uses pull-ups and a Kylie sheet underneath him (plus mattress protector). He knows that the first thing he’s does when he gets up is that he disposes of the pull-up appropriately.

Ds2 (13) still wets at night. He's under a consultant and on medication but it's not foolproof unfortunately and he'll still wet maybe once a week.

When we go away somewhere he not only wears adult incontinence pants (which he hates but accepts as necessary) but we also take our own waterproof envelope for any mattress he's on, just in case. And obviously, any used pants etc get binned immediately.

It's a faff and a pain but I wouldn't take him to stay anywhere (family or hotels) where we were risking ruining their mattress...massively selfish.

Yadnbu.

12 is old enough to clean up after themselves. I understand bed wetting cannot be helped but cleaning up the aftermath certainly can. I wouldn't have the kid back either.

That's absolutely disgusting, regardless of why she wets the bed, she should be taught of how/where to dispose of dirty things or if she's not capable for some reason then GP should be ensuring they are quickly and properly disposed of. How selfish, rude and unhygienic to stay at someone else's house and leave things like that laying around on the floor, do they expect you to clean up after them? I'd explain that unless they start taking care of it properly, they won't be invited back.

Thanks for your feedback. I’m disgusted by the lack of respect for my home. The child also left rubbish, crisps ground into the floor, sweet wrappers everywhere and damaged things too. And the GP just ignored them. I don’t want drama so I’ll just let it go but there will be no future invites.

Curious who the one manky person is who thinks I’m being unreasonable 😂😂

As you say, the bedwetting is problem that some kids (especially boys?) do have at that age, but 12 is absolutely old enough to dispose of any incontinence products themselves. If 12-year-old girls can dispose of sanitary pads and tampons, which millions of them do every month, then 12-year-old boys or girls can dispose of wet pull-ups.

If they have special needs or a disability of some kind and can't manage things like that, then I would expect the grandparents to check on them every single morning and make sure the pull-ups were dealt with.

Update: found rolled up bogeys on bedside table too… hope my visitors see this as they will no why no future invites! 🤢 Beyond disgusting

Not me. I think it’s totally grim. At that age they should be cleaning up after themselves and parents should be checking they do

Does the child normally live with the grandparents, or stay with them frequently?

Just wondering how aware the GOs are if the issues and what happens when the child stays with them?

They live with mum and dad but GPs have the GC regularly and know about the issues. GPs never say no to them and baby them.

There are 7 people who think this is acceptable! Wonder what the state of their homes is like 🤢🤢🤢

I completely don’t blame you and the GP shouldn’t decide to bring the issue into your home and leave you to deal with any of the mess. Why didn’t they leave him with his parents?

Yanbu. I wouldn't have someone stay at my house who wets the bed at all if it was going to involve you washing duvets etc. Next time they can get a hotel.

I'd actually come right out and tell them what the state of the floor/furniture were left like, I'd like to know if they think it's acceptable.

To be honest their own standards are low but I thought this would be above them… plus when you stay at someone else’s home, you tend to respect it more don’t you? I did say to them to clean them up but there was no apology or anything. Just ok. I do hope they read this and can see that everyone agrees that they are disgusting. Definitely no more invites and we will be busy if they ask to visit.