AIBU to not go to the team day?

[AppleMango25]

I work remotely for a large company and travel once a month to various sites across the UK. Sometimes we have to travel more as we also have team days and events. I live in the north and most of my colleagues live in the south. A lot of our sites are based there too so I normally travel to them when we meet up.

I enjoy my job but we have just merged with another company and there will be redundancies in the coming months so generally feeling pretty deflated at the minute.

Anyway, one of my colleagues is pregnant and due to finish at the end of April and my manager has asked if everyone can attend a team day next Monday which is 4.5-5 hours away from where I live. They've picked this location as my colleague (understandably) can't travel far as she's heavily pregnant. She’s chosen Monday as it's the best day for her due to child care.

It’s not so much the location that’s the issue but more the day they’ve chosen to meet up as it means I will have to leave very early on Monday morning (think 5am) to be there for 9-10am. My other option is to travel halfway down on Sunday which is my day off and then the rest of the way on Monday morning. I will then have to stay over and travel back on Tuesday before work and I’ll probably be spending around 8 hours of my own time travelling which I won’t be paid for (I earn 26k if that’s important).

I have a good relationship with my manager and he always encourages us to take any time back that’s owed to us for travelling etc but it’s incredibly difficult as our workloads are so busy and we end up falling behind on tasks if we take time off unless it’s annual leave.

WIBU to say that I can’t attend due to the day it’s on but happy to contribute to a gift etc?

When we have this kind of event, we Teams the people in who can't reasonably travel. Would that be an option?

I think given the day and distance they should pay the travel time on Sunday, overnight time and also the accommodation. Especially as your wage isn't high.

What does your contract say? Are you based in a particular office and have to attend elsewhere ? Then they need to pay you travel time and costs.

Can’t you travel back during working hours on the Tuesday? And / or negotiate a later start to the team thing on the Monday - maybe a team lunch? You’re travelling for work, after all.

It's up to you obviously but it does make me wonder why you chose to work when the majority of the sites and events are 5 hours away anyway.

Well you're an adult with a job so you should be able to work it out. However hee's my take: it's a one-off, you might be seeing some of them IRL for the last time, and who knows who is looking at this and thinking "hmm, not a team player, lives too far away and thinks attending some events is a pain" and planning a redundancy accordingly.

Sometimes you suck up the sacrifice of a half a day of your weekend because the event, the networking, the people, the effort etc are worth it. Sometimes you don't. So make the choice. (I would go in your shoes)

Every time this type of question is asked on here I think it is relevant to ask why you are working for a company that is so many hours travel away, when it clearly isn't a fully remote role.

If you either a) applied for a job where there were meetings once or twice a month at sites / offices that are 5 hours away or b) had the job and then moved 5 hours away, then I'd say that really is a choice you made, and if the expectation is that everyone is at these meetings once or twice a month, it isn't the employer's problem that you chose to live so far from your work.

OTOH, if you were working happily in a local job and your branch closed, then it is clearly a much bigger ask, and that is a lot of flexibility they are asking for, from someone in a relatively junior role.

Surely if it's a large company they'll pay your travel time (or time off in lieu) and overnight accommodation on the Sunday for a 9am start 5 hours away from your normal location? If not then you're being perfectly reasonable to decline.

Last month I spent around 7-8 hours of my own time just travelling
I think with remote working, some young people have not taken on board that it used to be completely normal to travel to work. If you weren't working remotely, and were "down south", it would be very common to spend 2 hours every day for the two 1 hour journeys to and from work. So in a normal week, you would have more "unpaid" travel time than you are currently being asked to do in a month. And complaining about.

I think it is ok to occasionally miss a session if you have personal issues caused by the travel time, but not just because you prefer a lie-in. If you are even offered time in lieu then take it, so you extend the next weekend, that is a great perk rather than something to moan about. It's also ok to ask for future sessions to be held mid-week if that is easier for you.

I would say your car is off the road and as there are rail strikes you won’t be able to travel down south for the day. Say you can join them in an online teams meeting

Drive down on the Monday, stay overnight and travel back on the Tuesday?

Spending 7-8 hours of your own time per month travelling isn’t long, we used to call this commuting before remote working became a thing. I work remotely but still have to travel occasionally, on my own time, but with expenses paid.

I wouldn't let the "showing yourself to be a team player because of forthcoming redundancies " factor into your decision.
You're just a number to your company and any redundancies are likely to be made based on factors outside your control.

In your shoes I’d find out exactly what’s involved before I make a decision. If it’s just a send off then I think it’s fine not to bother but if it’s more than that (team building exercises, meetings etc) I don’t think it’s wise not to go just because of the early start. I don’t know about your company but we are all under a bit more pressure to attend the office, it might be a good chance to get the inside line on the merger and you don’t want to get labelled someone who won’t travel. Plus you’re not being asked to do it frequently. I’d do half the journey on Sunday and then get back late on Monday night.

I think YABU mainly because you’re not claiming the time back. This is what you are resenting (or appear to be). Put your boundaries in place, attend especially if it is one of the two occasions this month and ask to take the time off this week. Simple.

the work will have to wait (easier said than done I know but the company in your words are treating you badly, don’t be a martyr to them and start looking for alternative employment)