To put cocktail umbrellas in every dog turd in our back lane?

[IceIceBabyBump]

I live in a Victorian terrace where our back yards and those of the adjacent street back on to each other with a lane between them.

The lane is intermittently dotted with huge dog turds because some selfish cunt doesn't bother picking up after their pooch. Its really starting to grind my fucking gears.

I'm thinking of putting cocktail umbrellas in each turd to show just how much shite there is in the hope of shaming the selfish cunt into being a responsible human being.

A couple of years ago, some posters went up saying the area was monitored by CCTV and dog-poo-people would be caught and fined. It seemed to dissuade the poo-er for a few weeks but that was all - I don't think there was any CCTV.

I have my suspicions of who it might be 😏DP's not convinced and thinks he might actually be under suspicion from other neighbours.

I should say that I'm also taking more normal measures like getting in touch with out local councillors! But I'm wondering if I'd BU to combine these more adult measures with some guerilla umbrella action??

When we had it happening outside my house I sprayed talcum powder around it to draw attention. It seems to have worked.

I think it would be disgusting. Putting cocktail umbrellas in dog shit!

Someone round here drew cock and balls round each pile..

I contacted the council and asked them to put up signs. They did. Some bastards still leave dog shit, but it did reduce.

When my house was newly built I put a flag on a stick in a dog turd on the shared green saying 'please pick this up'. I think it was someone at the other end who just let their dog out of the door. It worked though.

Oh fabulous idea! 🍆

Honestly, I'd just pick it up. I walk my dogs and pick up every poo I see, no matter whose dog has done it. No, I shouldn't have to, but I'd rather that than see it (or stand in it) every day. By the time you've put flags in it, you may as well just get rid of it.

You can get a battery doorbell that sticks to a wall and records images for about £20 on Amazon. Anytime someone walks past it starts recording. As long as it’s within distance of your home wifi it will work. Then screenshot the culprit and plaster it all over Nextdoor.com!

Erm... no. The owner needs to do it.
I vote cheap wildlife camera OP, with a sign next to it

Then they will just think the dog poo fairy cleans up or it magically biodegrades over night. If you want them to stop you have to draw their attention to it.

Would it record the whole lane, though? Or just want happens outside my bit of it (ie where the camera is)? The shitter is shitting up and down the lane and actually probably worse a bit further down from my house.

Yeah that's definitely not going to happen.

The only reason I'd pick up these turds is if I had 100% proof of the culprit and I was delivering them to his doorstep.

Otherwise, no, I'm not clearing up after other people's animals. Jesus.

Same as fly tipping. I report it to the local council. They remove it then it happens again as the perpetrator must think “that’s handy, I’ll dump more shit cos it gets taken away”. It’s lose/lose

You can angle the camera so it points down the alley rather than just outside your bit

Ah, OK. I'm going to take a look at this. Thank you!

YABU to call it a lane - it's a ginnel.

YANBU to take the law into your own hands to deal with selfish dog owners though.

Well, okay, you're probably right because we're in Yorkshire.

My Hull-based mate would say we're both U becoming its a ten-foot. My Midlands-based mum would say its a gulley. My County Durham-based mate would say it's a vennel.

Either way- it's dotted with shit 🤣

They do this in a nature reserve near me, it does work, and draws attention to it so kids don't step in it
I love dogs, I pick up after mine

I meant they do the spray paint, not the umbrellas, although they sound cute 🥰

Where do you get the spray paint from?

Ditto. I love dogs. My dog is the absolute love of my life. I always pick up after her. In the eight years I've had her, I've only not picked up her poo once because I'd changed coats and forgotten my poo bags.

I piled a load of leaves and twigs over the poo like a ceremonial burial mound. Then I went home, grabbed bags, walked back to the park, excavated the turd and binned it. Obviously bumped into every single person I know on Earth during my archaeological dig for dog shit 😅