To come away from the friendship?

[ShadowBeam]

I know this sounds childish but I need opinions..

Back in October my friend and her husband broke up - he cheated on her, went on dating websites, did things that hurt friend and was just a bit of a shithead.

I supported her for months, messaged her everyday, was there for her even messaged her whilst I was on holiday day and night when she needed me like a friend should be. We met up regularly.

During this time she was posting on social media about how I'm her best friend etc and whatever.

Back in February she got back with her husband, okay cool. People work things out and that's life and I was happy for her but she stopped messaging me completely but I didn't think anything of it because we're in our 30s with kids and jobs but she messaged me upset that I hadn't messaged her and I was obviously pissed off about her and her husband.

Explained that wasn't the case and apologised and said I'd make more of an effort and thought things were sorted but recently she did one of those anonymous Q and As on Facebook and it asked whose a friend that's always there for you and she replied saying no one their all shit.

And I know it's childish but my feelings are hurt, I spent so much time being there for her, apologising and trying to maintain the friendship and then to just be called shit is deflating. I feel I can't meet her expectations and I don't know if it's just best to let the friendship go.

But why are you apologising? You’ve done nothing wrong. And it’s clearly not just you. Your friend is struggling because she’s gone back to a bad relationship all her friends know is bad. That’s not on you.

My feelings would be hurt by this too. It sounds like you were an excellent friend to her when she really needed one.

You can't keep up that level of communication for ever though, it's unrealistic.

It sounds like you had a miscommunication over the texting when she got back with her DH though and then she didn't accept your explanation though, which is weird. I think I'd have to say something to her about the "they're all shit" comment.

I’d step away because she’s an unpredictable pass-agg human who’s posting stuff on social media that no one needs to share with the world

I wouldn't want to be friends with someone like that (social media drama queen).

she used you during a time she needed you. She doesn’t need you anymore so she’s dumped you - end of. She stopped messaging you when things were going well for her.

I always say to have a good friend you have to be a good friend. She hasn’t been a good friend to you. Bin her

If she's happy to call you out on your perceived lack of contact can you tell her how her post made you feel?

My guess would be she’s scared she’s made a mistake getting back with her husband- and can’t lash out at him so is lashing out at other targets.

Id just send her one last message, saying you hope she’s alright, you’re sorry if she didn’t feel like you were there when she got back with her husband- you just wanted to give her space- but if she ever wants to talk she knows where you are. Then just leave it at that.

She sounds all about the drama, but she sounds like she’s going to start having a shot time again very soon, so I do feel quite sorry for her

Sounds as if she’s still dealing with quite a bit of mental upheaval which is fogging her vision. I’d give her some time if you still value her.

Ugh I had a friend like this when I was younger.

I bent over backwards trying to be a good friend, even going out clubbing til 2am when I'd been on night shift and only has 3 hours sleep, then talking to her ex at her request then her having a go at me for speaking to him. She then said I was a "fairweather friend" and that friendship was a two way thing and I basically wasn't doing enough. I was so pissed off having spent hours chatting and everything being about her, and not once had she even asked how I was given my dad nearly died!!!

I cut ties with her and made much better friends after that! Some people just have no idea how much others do.

I have since come across one more person like this, recognised the signs and ditched them!

I'd have liked the post. Cheeky cow.

Agree with this. Shit or bust.

She sounds like an absolute drama queen and very much not someone I'd want to be friends with.