AIBU leaving 10 & 11 year old alone?

[CinderellaMum]

After general opinions as none of my friends have children around the same age so it’s difficult to get a gauge of whether this is the “norm” or not.

So WIBU to leave 2 sensible children age 10 & 11 (yr 5&6 of primary) in bed from 6am-7am whilst I walk the dog locally? Whilst an hour walk, at any given point could be home on foot within 10 mins.

Both have phones, know not to answer the door & would call me in an emergency. They know not to cook etc. and are generally sensible girls.

Using my own judgment I think this is fine, they already walk themselves to and from school with friends which involves them being away from me & not under constant supervision. In this case they’d both be asleep.

So WIBU?

I would.

I wouldn't because I'm risk averse but I wouldn't be outraged at the thought of it.

I would.

They walk themselves to school anyway, there's more risk with that than staying in their home alone for an hour.

I wouldn't if they are asleep when you leave- in an emergency they are going to wake up and come looking for you. Life changing minutes wasted, if its a fire, or CO leak, or an intruder, anything like that. If they are watching TV in the evening, and know you have left, and know not to look around the house for you in an emergency, then maybe

Mine are 13 and 15 and I have only just started leaving them when they are asleep . But this is very rare and usually I have warned them the night before that if I’m up early I’m nipping here and there. That age is too young in case they awake to an emergency.

I’m on the more cautious end of the scale talking to the parents of my child’s peers - my similarly aged child is left home alone for no more than thirty minutes, which is about the limit of what they’re comfortable with. They’d be distressed at the idea of being left alone while asleep so I definitely wouldn’t leave them asleep in bed. And there’s no way I’d let them walk to school alone yet because I don’t think they’re capable of safely crossing roads.

So I wouldn’t personally be comfortable with what you’re proposing for my own child - but if your children are definitely ok with it and it’s a natural step in their independence I wouldn’t find it unreasonable. I’m pretty sure some of my child’s peers are being left similarly.

I wouldn't unless they were already awake- I would want to know that someone was awake in the house in case there was an issue- I wouldn't trust a 10 or 11 yr old to wake up in an emergency and immediately be aware of what they needed to do. I would trust them to immediately leave the house and call me if they became aware of an issue that was serious.

Yes I would. Mine would have been fine at this age, in fact I probably did this. They knew what time I walked the dog so knew where I was.

Mine were walking home from school as well at this age (Y5 on). Children need time and space to develop and I think things have gone too far the other way now! I don't think we should go back to how it used to be but if we don't give our children some independence how do we expect them to cope as they get older!!

(Sorry slightly off topic there)

I would yes, but not if they were sleeping.

Just incase of emergency like fire etc.

I leave my just turned 11yo for over an hour during the day but like you I am often up before dd and it would be an ideal time to go for a dog walk (I'm still waiting for her to wake up now)- it just doesn't sit right with me going out whilst she's asleep! Just in case she woke up and I'm not in! Don't know why!

Never at that age.

I agree! On that other thread about leaving a 5 year old alone for 15 minutes (which I agree is too young), there are countless replies saying "not until 10/11"- I can't imagine how overwhelming it must be when one minute you're not trusted to sit in your own house alone for 15 minutes and the next you're potentially having to catch a bus to the nearest city for secondary school.

To the OP I would say, personally I would prefer to go out while they are awake, but as long as they know where you are then it's fine.

No not sleeping at that age I wouldn’t. My brother has been a fireman for 30 years though and I have heard too many horror stories.
My girls are late teens now and I do leave them asleep to walk the dog. They have been well trained though and I think old enough to remember what their uncle has drilled into them in an emergency

Fine as long as they know should they wake up, told the night before or a note or text.

I wouldn't leave them at night between 10pm and 6am, but daytime or evening is fine.

I'd probably go in and tell them I was going, even if they were half asleep. I do this with my teen, it would feel wrong not to.