To be in a dilemma about full time vs part time work

[Aroundthefur]

My children are slightly older now and have definitely benefited from my being around 2 days a week (I work 0.6) over the years. My husband likes having me at home but has always been supportive of my choices. I don’t earn badly for part time £27k but would be near 50k or > if I really wanted; he is a high earner but we have a fairly hefty mortgage and the extra money would be nice.

My issue is that I’ve climbed the ladder in my career well over the last few years and have a fairly clear trajectory but I’m at the point where I would need to up my days to do this;

Pension is a big reason;

I’m worried though that if I did return FT, I’d regret it and would miss the time I have for family admin etc; it gives me flexibility with the kids and means I can be present more. My job can be quite stressful so I do a fair bit extra whilst they’re in school. If I was FT, that would change to evenings and weekends.

I’d love to hear stories from both FT / PT as I honestly cannot make my mind up: money & career vs time at home ensuring life runs smoothly for us all!

I did 4 days but was frustrated doing 5 days work and getting paid for 4.

Now I do compressed hours but full time.

So kids are at breakfast club two days a week which husband drops at and after school clubs two days a week (extra curricular like Orchestra rather than e.g. after school club)which he picks up from. I pick up at 3.15pm twice a week and finish early those days. I am offline from 3pm.

To compensate I start earlier the mornings they are at breakfast club and have half an hour lunches. I WFH so I have no commuting time.

I am much happier full time with a full time salary.

If you do 0.8 or even 0.9, people will have full time expectations. Better to do the extra hours and get paid IMO.

When you say that working FT would mean you would have to work on evenings/weekends does that mean that at the moment you're working on your non-working days to get the job done? Or do you mean you would work 5 full days and add extra weekend/evenings ok top? If it is the former and you're earning PT hours but working extra then you absolutely should increase yo FT just to get paid for what you're doing.

Also to add being WFH makes it doable. It would not be doable with the commute. I put laundry on overnight and hang up in the morning.
I online shop and unpack on a 30 minute lunch break.
Likewise air fryer and slow cooker dinners for when the kids get home are prepped at breakfast / lunch.

My weekends are still my own. Well, apart from the taxi service...

I had to go back to 5 days when my kids were 6 and 8 and I hated it but I did 5 full days in an office. Now they are teens and I work full time from home which is perfect. I have actually needed more flexibility as they got older for various reasons and wfh means I can do some longer days, take shorter lunches etc to accommodate.

Let's face it, even those who love their job would probably agree that if they could keep the mental/social stimulation from going part time in their loved job, AS WELL AS enough free time to enjoy proper hobbies or keep fit or do charity work or care for elderly relatives or keep the house and garden as they'd like it AND still have plenty of money in retirement, that they'd probably be happy with going part time.

I doubt there are many people for whom, if all the stars aligned and they didn't NEED to work FT, would still choose to do more hours than PT.

Re: people saying you just become more efficient if you work ft. I know that poster acknowledged that with some jobs you can't just take a lunch break and do your online shopping during it etc, but even for those that can, after a certain age it just becomes exhausting to have to spend every minute of every day accounted for as some kind of task to do. And it's not mentally healthy to feel like you have a long list of stuff that must be done each day for days and months and years on end. It's sustainable for some people by farming some of the tasks out to others, or working from home, but for some people, feeling that they should be "being productive" every second of every day just isn't a healthy way to be. And if something unexpected happens like a sick child or very ill close relative in hospital then that extra pressure can be enough to tip you over the edge.

I'd much rather work full time than do part time and spend time doing the house and garden or charity work etc.

I went full time as found I was doing lots of extra hours when I was part time and thought I may as well be paid for it. I also thought I'd be glad of it when I'm older and have a better pension / can retire earlier. We don't have loads of quality time with the kids in the week but do have lots of fun family centred holidays and activities at weekends.

It only works for us because my husband does at least his fair share of everything. And we both wfh a lot and do house chores and admin in breaks so that we are not spending weekends catching up with the house. And both have flexible jobs, so I pick the kids up from school a couple of times a week (the rest of the time they're in after school club) and go to most of the spots days / school plays etc

Downsides are -
Evenings are horribly hectic
Everything has to be planned eg dinner cooked the evening before
Still end up working evenings to catch up

Full time 37.5 hrs a week ( NHs) ….anything that fits in between 8 am and 6pm ….I worked 8.10 to 5pm ( 30 min lunch) when I used to do it…..always had a Monday off….so a long weekend every other week

I've found with teens that being part time is more important than it used to be. I have a demanding job but there's been much more running around for their school events etc at secondary and both the schools mine are at have study leave before and during gcses and A levels ... and even mocks... so an inflexible job away from home would make that difficult to support, though I know loads of people manage. I would rather the DC weren't at home during that time without me there and then having to organise their own transport to exams during that period as the schools are not walkable to and the school buses are normal school times not exam times.

I do 0.6 and have gone round in circles about increasing my hours over the years but have never done it. any wage increase I have had n the last 5 years I’ve added to my work pension contribution. I figure it’s money I’ve never had so I won’t miss it. Might need to rethink/reduce that for when the DC go to university.
we are lucky we are quite comfortable with DH and my salary.

could you go up to 0.7 over 3 days and work longer each day or work an extra half day during school hours so you are still around for the before and after school?

Same as @Youcannotbeseriousreally 9 day fortnight 80hr per fortnight. Always worked FT. And until this job 5 years ago juggled 1 in 4 weekends and 1 in 4 lates with my husband working shifts ( which he still does) just means discipline as others say do my grocery online delivery in lunch one day, plan meals so less cooking time in family time ( all meals from scratch here) though now kids older they take a day each following a step by step recipe. Housework is every other week squeezed in between clubs on a Saturday though made easier if DH has a weekend off and every other week picked up on a Friday when the kids are in school.
Life admin can be the only thing that sometimes slips because my mind races so habit now is my mummy diary (mums office are amazing) And every reminder in there so for example next 1st April my 1year free disney plus subscription kicks in to monthly payments but I prefer up front 1 off as cheaper so my diary has that in now to remind d me to sort by 30th March but I know I have OCD and organising is the only way I cope.

@queenofcruises all I meant about the state pension was that when my HRP ran out and I didn’t work at all I didn’t build up any pension contributions but now I’ve gone back part-time I get pension contributions again. I understand that you still build up contributions when in part-time or full-time, I was coming at it from my situation rather from at the OPs, I should probably just have said workplace pension as OP is still in work.

It depends what your job is and salary level, I suppose. I’d be happy to work FT doing long hours on great pay if it meant that I could afford a cleaner, gardener, could eat out during the week regularly, decorators and other tradespeople to keep the house up to date (and the ability to oversee them).

But if you’re working 40 hours a week (with commuting on top) for low pay then doing those additional non-work things beyond the basics become slowly impossible as you get past your 20s and 30s if you have kids and ageing parents . I remember in my 20s coming home from a full day’s work and stripping the wallpaper off our new house, ripping carpets out etc for weeks on end and didn’t feel any more tired. I had plenty of energy then and no kids. I don’t know many 50 somethings who could manage doing extra stuff like that on top of a full day’s work. Never mind find time to also carve time out for nice things to do.

as it is I slog my day out working FT in a job which isn’t much more than the new living wage, working through breaks and lunches each day, doing overtime which I don’t get paid for. It’s in education (not a teacher though, so at least I don’t need to work evenings and weekends and some of the school hols too) so even though conditions are a bit shit, it’s something I believe in. But I don’t have much energy left at the end of the day and just flop on the sofa looking at my house and garden which need stuff doing to them and feeling like I have no quality time for myself anymore. And I can TOTALLY understand why some people are much happier working part time hours. (My job wouldn’t work part time which is why I’m still full time but I’d do it like a shot)