To tell her to get lost?

[Sportycustard]

Just got home to find a note from my neighbour.

"Hi Sporty, just wanted to let you know that we're rehoming a couple of cats in the next week or two. I can see from our upstairs windows that you have some plants in your garden that are poisonous to cats so I will pop round in the next day or so and point them out so you can remove them in good time for our new arrivals"

I've just done a quick Google and it looks like she is referring to a rhododendron that was a gift from a friend who has now passed away and an azaelia that was a 50th birthday gift. Both are established shrubs and mean a lot to me.

AIBU to tell her my garden will be staying as it is?

Amazing how society has evolved where someone thinks this is ok behaviour.

And someone being asked to dig up their beloved plants needs to post on the internet to affirm it's ok to say no.

Ha ha! This is perfect. Say this!

Maybe I would have been more inclined to have a conversation with this neighbour and come to some agreement had she not messaged in such a rude and dogmatic manner! Her cats, her problem!

What is your neighbour going to do about all of the other gardens with poisonous plants in the area? Or does she anticipate that her cats will visit your garden only? Is she planning to go door to door to all the houses within roaming radius of her cats and order them to uproot their plants?
YANBU. She needs to keep the cats indoors if she is worried.

Tell her that, if she is foolish enough not to have indoor cats, hers are statistically unlikely to live very long due to....
....traffic; dogs; foxes; theft; poison (antifreeze and all kinds of other hazards not found in your garden!).

Honestly don't get the whole 'outdoor cats' thing.....

This.

TBH - we've had cats for over 30 years, and a garden with two azaleas, and the cats don't bother with them.

They do, however, chew our houseplants, so I don't keep a dieffenbachia even though I like them a lot.

a). Your garden, your plants, your choice

b) In practical terms, uprooting an established rhododendron is a hell of a job!

Tell her you don't want her cats damaging your garden, and ask her to keep them out. This works both ways.

Is that true? Obviously it's more hazardous but I've had 5 outdoor cats over my life and 3 lived to be 18ish and died of age related things, one died at 15 of cancer and 1 got run over aged 10. This was years ago though so maybe it's more dangerous now. But out of 5 i only lost 1 due to outside hazards.

I think you're being very reasonable and I can't see why she's so worked up she must see that the other cats visit and are ok.

I have had two cats for the past 13 years. In my garden we have rhododendrons, azaleas, lavender, bulbs and lillies. Both cats are still alive.

I have had lots of cats and they lived to ripe old age (except a 7 year old that died from cancer) and never worried about poisonous plants. We had Peace Lillies in our first house. Was never a problem. We've always lived near wild places where they would disappear off and goodness knows what they came across. Maybe someone will come on here and prove me wrong, but cats are pretty switched on about not eating dodgy plants.

I think you should plant a bed of nepeta (cat mint). Her stoned cat will be a permanent fixture lounging on your lawn (under the rhododendron)

We would all be finding dead cats in our gardens all the time of this were a real problem. Indoor plants, ok, because cats are confined with them. Or if it's dogs, because they will eat a toxic plant or a rotten hedgehog or a toilet block any day of the week because they're morons. But cats, nope.

I'm very pleased for you that you were so fortunate.

I'd make a tiny adjustment to this suggestion, by saying "and will be at no risk from any plants in any of your neighbours gardens that are not good for them."

If you wanted to add something, this might be acceptable "My garden is for my enjoyment Whether or not you or any other neighbour decides to get a pet cat does not determine what plants and vegetation I grow in my garden. Please ensure your new cat is kept indoors for its own safety".

Hope you get this resolved.

Wow the cheeky cow. I have a cat and I would never ever demand this.

Maybe get a cheap camera pointing at the garden just in case she tries to dig them up herself!

I've got 3 cats, there are loads of neighbour cats too who all come and crap in my veggie beds. I have a load of a load of lilies in pots, none of the cats go near them, the only thing I've ever seen them eat is grass

Spot on!

What a cheek!
Plus obviously the plants do not need to be removed even if they were in they own garden.

I don't have cats. I have lots of plants in my garden that, according to this thread, are deadly to them. We used to have golden retrievers and the cats stayed well away. They've gone now so we get lots of visits from the neighbours cats ( mainly to use our raised beds as a litter tray) but no cat has died in my garden and they have been coming in for years so they clearly don't go home and die either. I wouldn't change anything in my garden to suit anyone else

From many years experience owning cats it’s the indoor plants/flowers that are an issue although I wouldn’t have lilies outside due to the issues others have mentioned. If you’re feeling kind maybe suggest she gets some cat proof fencing or a catio to save her worrying.

I'm a cat lover but my god this is cheeky. If the cat is stupid enough to eat it, it's evolution. I say this as an owner of an indoor cat that eats stupid things.

Outdoor cats rarely eat toxic plants. They have more interesting things to do.

It’s the ones kept inside that are more likely to nibble on plants for the sake of something to do.

The woman is crazy!

My cat used to sleep under the lavender bush. He lived until he was 18 so it didn't do him any harm. He was most upset when we got rid of it as he had to find another spot to snooze in!

I really should have read on to see that she had been around and highlighted to you the plants she wanted removed.
She has some neck!!!

Have you been around to check with the other neighbours how they got on with her?

If she is asking multiple neighbours to make adjustments in their gardens for her cats, I'd even consider writing a note back to her signed off "Residents of X neighbourhood" saying that you expect HER to make sure her garden is cat proof and not to let her cat out to roam. Also clarify that should her cat become unwell from being in someone else's garden, no one except her will be paying for vet bills. Their cat, their responsibility.

I love cats & have one myself, but I would not dream of telling someone they had to remove plants from their garden. Cats are clever, & will normally keep away from dangerous plants etc. unfortunately you do sometimes get a cat who likes to eat every plant like item that they come into contact with aka my cat. Luckily we had already decided that she was going to be an indoor cat, & we advised rescue centres that we wanted a cat that would be happy indoors.

Your neighbour is responsible for her own cats, it’s not your problem.