Really at the end of my teather!

[Bewilderedallthetine]

I have lived here a good few months now ( left partner and moved with my young son due to DV..no relatives/friends to help me). I have a lovely house in a lovely village . But the elderly next door neighbours are a nightmare!.
The complaints are ...rain water running into their garden....

I am taking my bins out to early/ bringing them in too late on bin day ( I take them out at 8.00 am before work and fetch them in at 5.30 when I get back home)

a 'squeaky front gate' gets them complaining!

..young son playing quietly in back garden with his dinosaur models as they say he sets their dog off barking 😀

Me putting washing out as it blocks their veiw and sets their dog off barking.

Me and my son sitting talking in our garden whilst we eat a packed lunch ,as it also sets their dog off barking!

It was lovely sunny day on Easter Sunday and my young son took one of his Easter Eggs outside in our back garden to sit on a patio chair and eat a bit, whilst I was inside making our dinner for later that night.
The neighbour (Woman) called him over and really quizzed him on:
1/ where was his dad?
2/ why did we not live with him?
3/ where did I work?
4/ both our full names.
5/ where were we from originally?
6/ Why is he setting her dog off barking?

And goodness knows what else she quizzed him on!

Honestly..would any of you ask a young boy so many questions?

I have a ring doorbell on the front of house as she kept knocking complaining about the about things. I also have a camera covering my back garden only. (As dog poo was thrown over into my garden)..

I have smiled/said good morning etc and they just ignore!

I really am struggling with this..we are a quiet household..no loud music etc..my son is in bed for 8.00pm. No pets etc. Nothing from our side!..our house is very quiet.
Any advice would be most welcome 🙏

Lovely update OP, so happy for you and your son!
Enjoy your holiday

@Bewilderedallthetine - well done on being so brave, your new start and the promotion. If you have a little explorer try geocaching. Photo of the apps attached.

Its a nightmare isn't it..I had to over think everything..was I closing the car door too loudly? Was I putting the bins out too loudly? I even stopped my son going into our garden playing with his dinosaurs and cars for a bit (he never ever kicked a football or had a trampoline etc). Every time we set a foot into our back garden (to peg out washing/clean windows etc) it 'set' there dogs off barking! And it was our fault! I had words with her a couple of months ago, as me mowing my grass at midday on a Saturday was unreasonable to her( as it set off her dogs barking!) I told her that her bloody barking dogs were going to get reported and she has been fairly quiet since. We have bought us a small barbecue and I am going to use it on a few sunny teatimes and to hell with her!

And we are going to enjoy our garden in the summer doing normal things and her barking dogs are her problem. I am looking into getting some trellis to put onto my fence and grow something up so we cant see her. And she cant see over to us (any suggestions are welcome).

I would tell them that if they ever again try to extricate personal information from a young vulnerable child, I will call the police, this is an offence surely.

@Bewilderedallthetine ours were such hypocrites too. They would complain about us doing something then do the same themselves.

I'd endorse making a note with dates and times of every incident otherwise you have no real evidence and I'd definitely start answering back. I didn't because I was a single parent and didn't want to fall ouf with people. I often think if I'd called the police to report her for breach of the peace and threatening behaviour the first time she shouted in my daughter's face, I wouldn't have had the 12 years of fear and misery that I did.

Good luck!

Hello all..well world war 3 has just broken out today as I have bought my son a pet kitten for his birthday! It is going to be an indoor mostly cat and just goes outside in our back garden with my son. I have made an small outside cage with chicken wire where my son and tiddlywinks can play in. Apparently this is bad as its making her dogs bark! The pair of them has been shouting abuse over the fence at me and my son all day. I have got them doing it on the camera pointing into my back garden. I have phoned the council who is now going to look at the tape. Since coming in (its pouring down here) they have been banging on the wall for over an hour..I have also taped this for the council. Last weekend whilst cutting my grass (sat 11.00am) there dogs started barking and I got abuse from them about that. I am tapeing everything! Hopefully the council will have a word with them!..God help us when I use the barbecue next weekend (around teatime and I will make sure nobody'sgot washing out)

Hi xx just needing advice as I have literally no one to ask 😥I got moved home with my son due to DV. The address was supposed to be a secret from ex partner where we were ( other end of the country). Its my birthday today and I have came home from work to a birthday card delivered via royal mail from him just saying 'from xxxx'. I have no close family. How on earth can he get my address. He applied for visitation rights in a center for my son and I took my son to his end on the country and he did not turn up! Shaking as I write this! How is this my life!..😟Is it something I can report to the police? as there is no threat in the card.

Not sure what advice I could give but I would see the card in itself a threat as that is his way of telling you he knows where you live, was there police involvement whist you were with him or whilst you were getting moved? I would log it with police and let them know and then get onto Womens aid for advice, you may be able to get a non molestation order in place. When I split from my ex I used to flag up in the police system for them to attend asap if I called so please log everything with them if you are worried. As for the nasty neighbours, if you manage to have a civil convo at any point with them I would be saying to them that you are thinking of getting an exchange but the people wanting to exchange have 7 kids of all ages and they like to have big parties and have 3 dogs, they might then realise that you are actually a good neighbour and not want you to move lol and if they don’t care about that then every time the dogs yapped I’d be shouting over the fence to shut your fucking dogs up! They are taking the piss because you’re a single mum, toughen up a bit lovely and give them what for and well done on your promotion and getting you and your son a new life, you got this. X

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I think it's worth asking someone like women's aid for advice or if you have a DV advisor or anything similar. But I also think it's worth speaking to the police (probably after speaking to an expert in DV just so you go in a bit more fore-armed).

I hope you've managed to have an OK day despite the card and maybe have some cake or a nice tea with your son later.

The police were involved last year and womans aid. I have reported this to the police this morning and they couldn't have been less interested 😥apparently all I have is a card that has been sent through the post with his name on! 😪I am so worried that he has my address as he can drive here in less than 2 hours 😫

You need to raise this with the police again, see if a local councillor or your MP will support you. It's definitely threatening & you need to get a non molestation order in place. Sorry this has happened, on top of the nightmare neighbours. Sending unmumsnetty hugs

That's such a shame as your recent updates have been so positive

.

If he didn't bother to show up before I would assume he is playing mind games with you and of course he has done what he has achieved and rattled you. I am so sorry this has happened now when you had established your new life so well (apart from twatty neighbours which hopefully the council will help resolve).

Ignore the card. I doubt if he will come up if he can't be arsed to see his son when it was arranged. But keep a joke of the date ot was sent and if you can bear to keep it or send it to a friend for them to keep for you in case it is needed as evidence if he does try to escalate things which I truly believe and hope he won't.

Take care.