Is it the guys job to ask?

[Lilllypad11]

My friend and I have been in a slight disagreement since this morning. She likes a guy and has been on 7 or 8 dates with him. She said when they saw each other he asked her when she was next free and she said she was flexible. She later asked him before she got out the car “when are you next free” he told her “I’m not 100% we can just sort it over message”

So she said she’s too nervous to ask him. My response to her was you’re being childish. Just ask him if you want to go out with him again. You’re both adults. Grow up and say when are you next free.

She then got upset and started saying that “men are supposed to be the ones who chase”

AIBU?

After 7 or 8 dates you are past “chasing” each other! Of course she should arrange the next date x

Exactly what I said. I told her all it takes is a “when are you next free” she just said “yeah but I asked last time” I told her she’s being unbelievably silly. Like all it takes is a message.

I think for me it depends how the last 7/8 dates have been organised. If he has been the one to reach out, plan & organise every date so far then I think it’s a bit silly her not wanting to do it this time!

I don't think I'd even ask, I'd just text "I'm free on x, y and z days if you fancy meeting up?"

So she asked about the last one. Out of all of the previous. Now she’s too shy to ask. But I did say. I’m sure as an adult you can grow up and just say when are you free. Like it’s that simple.

If that was the dynamic between me and a potential parter after eight dates I'd be binning it off. It shouldn't be that difficult.

In what sense😂

Who wants to be dealing with tip-toeing around and faux politeness after eight dates? What a drain.

Shes already asked when he's free, and he said not sure so I'd leave it to him to tell me when he's free now.

I have found in my time around the block that men (unlike women) will allow themselves to be chased/dated/fucked by women they aren’t massively into.

As a woman, you have so much more to potentially lose by tying yourself to an apathetic man. To avoid that- you look for someone just as keen as you! Active interest is demonstrated by what people call ‘chasing’.

She’s asked him when he’s free, he doesn’t know and said he’ll get in touch. Let’s see if he does. Assuming this happened more than 24 hours ago, he would have feasibly checked his diary.

She’s aware there is an imbalance of interest and she doesn’t want to look even more of a beg.

if she likes him, drop the games... its no ones job to arrange.

But she has told him she wants to go on another date, when she said “when are you next free?” The ball is in his court. I would assume he's not that into her if he doesn't let her know when he's free. However the “men are supposed to be the ones who chase” at the 8th date stage is a weird thing to say

Literally.

but she’s already asked him when he’s free?

she’s put herself out there. The ball is in his court.

so has he texted her when he is available?

what I'm saying is there is no "court"....

if she likes him, then ask. Or carry on with the game of "his turn, her turn"