To not correct neighbour's assumptions?

[Notalazysoso]

We live in a HA home, because we had a no fault eviction and have a disabled child so were prioritised for being housed rather than a b&b/temp accommodation.

I work full-time, predominantly WFH other than a 2 hour drop in approximately once or twice per week. I work with vulnerable families so it's smart casual attire when I run a drop in. I'm a single parent so my work day usually looks like 9am-2.30pm WFH/at a drop in, then 8/9-10/11 in the evenings-ish. I also try and bank TOIL to give me shorter days during the holidays so my 8/9-10/11 can often be until midnight.

My house is HA and the one adjoining is privately owned. Very unpleasant family who actively stop their children interacting with mine, won't give me the time of day. I was moving my bins this morning as we went away for the week and didn't want them left. They asked if we were going away, I said yes, they made a comment about funny how they work hard and can never afford to go away. They seem to spend their money on the house, which is fair enough but their garden alone cost £6k in improvements last year. I keep mine tidy and functional but prefer to spend my spare money on breaks away with the children. I pay full rent and council tax. I only get UC help and DLA due to the disabled child. If she weren't disabled we wouldn't qualify for any UC.

Neighbours have made comments a few times about how nice it must be not to work. I just smile and respond yes it would be. AIBU to leave them to look down on us with their bigoted ill-informed views and not correct them that I do in fact work full time and juggle absolutely everything on my own even if we do live in a HA home and we aren't a perfect two-parent family?

Good for you OP, keeping your dignity..They will always be twats.

Why don't you ask them exactly what they mean by not have to work.Put them straight, you work very hard.

next time one of them comments, reply that you wouldn't know, you work full timr

There was s nothing to do other than what you are doing. They are awful people and nothing will change that.

Jus tell them that you do work. I don’t see the problem, it’s really none of their business.

I would just say this. But you don’t have to of course. They sound like awful people.

People are twats. Some haven't caught on that WFH is a thing yet. DH works (very long hours) from home. Someone assumed he had taken early retirement! Said something like "must be nice" he just said "I wouldn't know!"... I wouldn't be able to not say something.

Well they're just plain rude. Part of me would want to let them know they're assumptions are wrong, but on the other hand they might change their behaviour towards you and start being friendly and I wouldn't want anything to do with them so leaving them thinking you don't work is probably the best way of keeping them at a distance.

Well, but you sound as if you’re also being judgemental about their garden (how on earth do you know how much it cost?) I don’t see why the game-playing — why are you pretending to them that you don’t work?

What a strange assumption they’ve made there when so many people work from home these days!

I’d have to reply just to see their faces, next comment about not working just say something like, ‘I imagine so but wouldn’t know since I work full time’ and just watch them squirm 😊

Personally I would smile and tell them you work a sex chat line after 9pm.

Do you really want to know if you are being unreasonable or is that just how you've framed your post for discussion purposes. If you do really want to know the yanbu you owe no one an explanation of your finances. I would find it odd and somewhat dull and tedious if they kept bringing it up.

Fair point. What they spend on their garden isn't really relevant to you OP

What a strange assumption they’ve made there when so many people work from home these days!

It's due to living in a HA house, must be a 'free' house, only for 'scroungers' . It blows minds that you can live in Social Housing, pay all your own bills.

Social housing should be the norm.

I worked from home long before it became the norm. I did the invoicing for a small family firm and they basically told me to work whatever hours I wanted as long as I got the invoices done in time. I'd just adopted a very demanding little boy and, when he started at the local school, I used to give myself a few hours off in the morning to drop him off (which could be a battle), have a quick chat to other mums then sometimes call in at my widowed mum's for a coffee. When he was in bed at night I sometimes worked through to the early hours to get my work done, because it suited me. I had a neighbour who constantly asked me if I got bored at home all day because I didn't have a job. I explained over and over again that I worked from home, mainly during afternoons and night, but I could tell she just couldn't get her head round it and the sarcastic comments, "lady of leisure" etc continued. I came to the conclusion she was just plain jealous and stopped speaking to her apart from a brief hello. It's no one else's business how you run you life, you don't have to explain anything.

Yes, the more you reveal to the neighbours about your situation, the more they could twist it. It's absolutely nothing to do with them and is between you and your family only.

You can't unsay something, so it's best to say nothing.

Only because I was putting my washing on the line and neighbour was on the phone (in the garden) discussing it very loudly. My point re the garden wasn't the cost, just that we choose to spend what sounds a similar disposable income on different things and that's perfectly fine

True. I wonder if the OPs neighbours’ house was once a HA house?

Like your style!
But I would be tempted to say - God yes be lovely not to have to work.
I find it a struggle juggling
working full time with a disabled DC as a lone parent .

I wouldn't bother.

Surely when uou say yes it would be you are correcting them?

and I don’t understand how they don’t give you the time of day but you know how much they spent on their garden ans they asked if you were going away,

or why how much they spent on their garden is relevant to the post, or even how you know you have the same disposable income as them,

knowing your neighbours disposable income is just very odd indeed.

I would completely ignore them

That is just weird - is your neighbours house not HA as well?

I would too. I don't see what's good or dignified about letting them believe you don't work for a living.
If someone kept mithering on about how nice it must be not to work, I'd say "do you think so Doris? I work 40 hours a week and I enjoy my job, it's fulfilling and I wouldn't want to give it up". I don't see how they could use that against you.

People can be such twats.

One neighbour refused to talk to me for the entire time we lived in the cul-de-sac because we didn't sort out curtains soon enough for her liking when we moved in.

You do your own thing, ignore them. You sound lovely!