To think some parents are getting even more sharp elbowed & pushy?

[Devonco]

I think it is definitely the case in my dc's school. Anyone else agree?

As my dc are getting older it's becoming more & more obvious..

Happy Easter! Enjoy the school holidays and take a rest

@TinkerTiger I'm enjoying the hols very much thank you!

How old are your dc? Primary or secondary)
And how are you noticing the sharp elbows?

Primary (one headed to secondary in September). Just a certain cohort of parents seem to thrive on oneupmanship & comparisons. Also asking about grades & what my children are doing. Also very secretive themselves at the same time!

I don’t think they are sharp elbowed. I think for the most part they are panicking. They take in all the negative messages in the media about how no one will ever get ahead, schools are awful and useless, etc, and they’re desperate to make sure they are not falling behind. They recognise that opportunities are getting scarcer, and they want their kids to be able to compete, but they aren’t capable of planning things like extra curriculars themselves and so look for inspiration externally.

maybe they are just chatting - there are enough posts on MN from posters sad that nooone ever speaks to them at the school gate

Not particularly something I've experienced thankfully!

Yup some parents like this at my kids school I just don’t get involved or feed it in any way!

Nope, these parents will only interact with me if they want to know something, barely salute me the rest of the time. Behave similarly to other parents.

Yes, I think so. I work in a private school overseas. I’d say that our parents tend to be quite sharp elbowed anyway (that’s how they have got to the point where they can afford a private school, overseas) but there seems to be an escalating sense that they absolutely must push their children ahead - or they are doomed. Going to university isn’t enough: it has to be Oxbridge or Ivy League.

its not good for the children. We have high achieving, intelligent, conscientious students - mostly girls - ending up with anxiety, self harming etc.

its hard not to get caught up in the race.

It's very obvious in my dc's school.. The said parents don't even disguise it. They don't like any dc being equal or passing theirs out...

Shameless bump ☺️

Someone I know who's daughter went to private school said all the kids were being tutored secretly. Said it was like Fight Club.

@OhamIreally I'd really believe it. It seems to have gotten so much worse.

Isn't private school the very essence of sharp elbowed?

Yes it's always been this way unfortunately it's getting worse. One parent in ds school always ensured her dc made advantageous friendships. I didn't make the cut until she realised I was v good friends with someone she was desperate to connect with. I kept her at arms length, I'm quite good at sussing out the users.

@Stickyricepudding same. In our school certain parents won't look at you but suddenly are all best buddies if they think your dc is getting a leg up on theirs or if they want info.. I keep my dc's business to myself