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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you agree with this ?

10 replies

AquaBee · 31/03/2024 16:53

Colleague came in upset the other day and I asked her why. She said she is being berated by her family and called bitter because of the below situation .

Her and her sister both live at home. We live near London so prices are obviously extremely high. Her younger sister works part time and earns around 9K, her sisters partner 23K. Because of this they can afford to get their own place as they have a fairly big deposit also as well as 20K gifted to them. The partner will be paying the mortgage and she will give, what she can afford to give each month.

Colleague is upset about it as is single and doesn’t earn enough to move out alone and also has diseases impacting on her ability to work full hours. Although she does work and has saved a lot (55K) she won’t be able to move out as a single person as would need at least 35/40K annual salary.
She says the youngest is extremely lucky as will have her own flat with her paying minimal amount, a loving and supportive partner, easy job with short hours and her physical health.

Would you agree or is there some bitterness and immaturity going on here ? I do think that if colleague met some new people she could potentially have her own partner . Or even if she spent her savings she would be entitled to council housing property ?

OP posts:
EatCrow · 31/03/2024 16:56

I think people are entitled to feel how they feel. Maybe she is bitter, I’m bitter to a certain extent about some lousy experiences, and that’s our right.

DistinguishedSocialCommentator · 31/03/2024 16:57

OP
She is entitled to feel how she feels.

something2say · 31/03/2024 16:58

I'd say, watch and wait. The young couple, well I'd not hang my hat on a £9k job and a man. No way.

HeddaGarbled · 31/03/2024 16:59

She is entitled to feel how she feels but not to spoil her sister’s happiness by whinging on about it.

Hankunamatata · 31/03/2024 17:01

Why are her family calling her bitter? Is she slagging her sister off? Is she making nasty comments about soster working pt?

AquaBee · 31/03/2024 17:04

Definitely not making nasty comments. Just removing herself from it all as she finds it difficult . She would not say anything mean, she isn’t the type.
I think she feels she has done a lot around the home and contributed more so feels it should be her but life doesn’t work like that .

OP posts:
TitInATrance · 31/03/2024 17:11

What the others said, but also I very much doubt that she’d get a council property if she spent her savings.

DistinguishedSocialCommentator · 31/03/2024 17:11

HeddaGarbled · 31/03/2024 16:59

She is entitled to feel how she feels but not to spoil her sister’s happiness by whinging on about it.

She can whinge to friends if she wants, but its not helpful
We are all different and have different thresholds of what upsets us or not.

DistinguishedSocialCommentator · 31/03/2024 17:13

TitInATrance · 31/03/2024 17:11

What the others said, but also I very much doubt that she’d get a council property if she spent her savings.

Evey council has a housing criteria. Just spending for the sake of spending helps no one, especially her. In time I feel she will realize this

AquaBee · 31/03/2024 18:04

Wasn’t her idea but someone suggested it to her (Not me )

OP posts:
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