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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to point out that this doesn't happen every night out?

7 replies

EasterSnob · 31/03/2024 15:28

So long story short daughter is 21. Third year uni but lives at home happily. Comes and goes as she pleases. Has a boyfriend who has moved to Manchester for a post grad. So she goes and stays with him once a month.

She has recently started a part time job in retail and become friends with one of the full time staff members (18 female) when it was apparent daughter was friends with this
Person her manager brought her to the side and told her to be careful she wasn't "tarred by the same brush" as this girl but daughter didn't ask anything further. She's a bit awkward and didn't want to pursue it.

Fast forward about 6 weeks and daughter has gone out 4 Friday nights with this girl. The first night some man allegedly touched this girl, no one else say it and he denied it. They weren't in his company so girl screamed loudly then smacked the man and ran off leaving daughter alone, she came home after making sure the girl had left. Similar thing happened two weeks ago. Except girl told bar man there was a man in the toilets who tried to grope her. She proceeded to point at several men accusing them.

Then last Friday night daughters boyfriend was home and the doubled dated with this girl
And boyfriends friend. They were in a booth in a
Local pub. Daughter said chatting away and having a great night. Until the girl started saying he was being too forward. The lad tried to talk to her about it and she rang the police. Daughter took
Her outside as she was really upset. Police weren't spoken
To I must add but she had dialled 999. Daughter stood with her till her dad arrived and took her home.

I've told daughter this isn't normal behaviour and bad luck seems to follow this girl
Around. I think daughter should keep
Her distance. She said I'm being mean, judgmental and she should stand by her friend.
Am I?

OP posts:
EasterSnob · 31/03/2024 15:29

Should say I name changed. Also she thinks I'm being a snob because this girl
Is from a rough area of town.

OP posts:
skilpadde · 31/03/2024 15:31

She's 21 and being oppositional. If you want her to do something, she'll do the opposite. Better to back off and let her decide in her own time who in her life is good for her, and who is not.

Aquamarine1029 · 31/03/2024 15:32

Your daughter should be very wary of people who are always tied to drama. It's unfortunate she hasn't learned this already.

Howaboutthats · 31/03/2024 15:32

Yeah she sounds batshit but you've had your say just leave her to it.

totallybonkerswarning · 31/03/2024 15:34

You're correct but you need to leave it to your daughter tbh as she's an adult.

KreedKafer · 31/03/2024 15:35

The friend’s behaviour isn’t remotely normal, no.

However, your daughter is 21 and it’s really not up to you to tell her how to navigate her friendships. If my mum had been lecturing me about my friends when was an adult in my 20s, I’d have thought she’d gone mad! Your DD will soon decide for herself whether her friend is more trouble than she’s worth. She’s not a child.

EasterSnob · 31/03/2024 15:37

Seems her boyfriend has said the same thing. Hopefully he might make her see sense. I'll have to bite my tongue and hope she doesn't get pulled into this shote

OP posts:
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