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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Easter lunch disaster

58 replies

Daisylookslost · 31/03/2024 14:27

AIBU to be a bit annoyed by DH attitude to Easter lunch?

He gets the meat out the packet and says ‘it stinks!’ But it seems fine so I say ‘well what do you expect it to smell like?’

He asks me to get carrots and potatoes ready. He’s bought chantaney carrots that are as small as thimbles with ingrained dirt. It takes ages to prepare them. He starts moaning I’m taking too long, standing there once I’m onto the potatoes waiting to be handed each potato once peeled so he can chop it. While telling me how he just chucked the same carrots in the pan last week and I liked them.

He moans there are too many potatoes they won’t fit (properly) on the cooking dish. Nevertheless they go in the oven on that dish, with the leg of lamb. The carrots get left on the side in their own dish because ‘there’s no point look at them it’s not enough even for one person’ he says. I put them in oven and say ‘we’ve done them now may as well have them.’

dinner is now in the oven, and I appreciate you may wish to vacate this sorry thread now but if not…

He has previously said no to peas but now says he wants mashed swede and asks can I go and look for frozen mashed swede at the co op. I say I’m not getting frozen veg now (12 noon today) but I’ll go look at shop to see what’s there. He’s also asked for red bull. I come back with said red bull among other things. And have managed to pick up some mashed root veg.

when I get back he’s straight on the red bull but whinging about the root veg asking to know the exact contents (he has no allergies). I tell him it’s 60% swede.

anyway… cut to the actual dinner.
he's making the gravy just beforehand and professes how much he hates making gravy. I say I could have done it.
He says the dinner looks bland and I say ‘well that’s because there’s no greens, you turned down peas.’
He starts saying the potatoes are under done. They weren’t.
Then he starts to say he thinks the lamb is off. I’m not a huge meat eater and fussy about meat, he knows this, so I say ‘well if it was don’t you think I’d notice?!’ (Seemed fine to me). I said to leave it if he thinks it’s off. He said it might be this particular bit as some bits on his plate seem fine. He actually got up from the table and started rummaging about over the other side of kitchen and when I asked what he was doing, he was taking the lamb package out of the bin to check the date to see if it was out of date. As if I’d feed my family out of date meat 🙄 he was the one who unpacked it in the first place so could have run his eye over the date then instead of going bin-diving mid meal! 🤦‍♀️
Anyway he eats the lot of meat on his plate while going on about how he knows it’s not off so he doesn’t know why it tastes off.

he finishes much sooner than myself and our child so he then gets up and starts noisily banging plates and cutlery, loading dishwasher

I actually said during dinner that he can buy his own meat from now on (I personally buy the large majority of our food which includes meats to satisfy him). And he replied that he’d be getting lots of takeaways then 🤔

Thanks for reading sorry lack of punctuation

AIBU to be a bit annoyed at him (and never ever wanting to do Easter dinner again)?

OP posts:
Stickyricepudding · 31/03/2024 20:38

Nah please don't use autism as an excuse for him being a selfish, bad mannered arsehole. My ds has autism and he'd never behave like your dh did today. Ds's behaviour is impeccable and he would have thanked you profusely for the effort you made today.

JPGR · 31/03/2024 21:42

Lucky to find a shop open on Easter Sunday. They were all shut around here.

Panicking23 · 31/03/2024 22:33

Boombatty · 31/03/2024 14:35

He sounds awful.

Off topic but why the red bull? Its SO bad for you. Friend of mine had a heart attack after drinking two cans. In his 20s.

You'd have to be ridiculously sensitive to caffeine for this to happen, there's the same amount of caffeine in the equivalent volume of instant coffee. One cup of coffee from freshly ground beans could have almost 3x the caffeine as a can of red bull.

But yes OP, I'd be stepping back from any involvement of making a roast dinner from now on. He buys, preps and cooks it himself.

Stickyricepudding · 31/03/2024 23:37

JPGR · 31/03/2024 21:42

Lucky to find a shop open on Easter Sunday. They were all shut around here.

Hotel Chocolate in my town centre was open today as were all the petrol garages which also sold Easter eggs.

Getofftheloosam · 31/03/2024 23:45

You need to advise him that the front door is at the bottom of the stairs and can he pop the keys through the letterbox when he leaves.

Jo xx1

Cornishclio · 01/04/2024 00:08

Goodness me what an annoying idiot. I would not tolerate that from my husband but thankfully he would never behave like that. The rule in our house is if you don't like it do it yourself. So if he moaned about the meat and veg he would be cooking his own meal. I certainly wouldn't buy him red bull.

What is your financial setup? He is saying if you don't cook for him he will be buying takeout. Is that joint money he plans on using? Can you afford it?

Caroparo52 · 01/04/2024 00:20

What no mint sauce? Seriously op he sounds a right whingy baby op.

Daisylookslost · 01/04/2024 09:48

Actually yes, there was mint sauce! Albeit Sainsbury’s own.

I think I will step away from roasts from now on. I have zero inclination to make another one ever ever again (as my youngest would put it!). It is a miserable experience. I always seem to get it wrong so now it’s down to him if he wants it; buying, prep and cooking. He will probably notice we haven’t had a roast in 2 months then I’ll suggest ‘oh why don’t you do us one then, darling?! You are the best at it after all…’

Financially I buy most of the food but if he feels ‘hard done by’ he will make an impromptu trip to Aldi to stock up on meats and other items, at his own expense. I do thank him for this.

the husband that brought the cups of tea - lovely! I think it’s probably best for us to do separate activities when cooking roasts happens like me trim a tree while he does it for example 😄

and the DS who would have thanked profusely- lovely!
I don’t want to use autism as an excuse, I know it’s not.

I think if you don’t like it do it yourself, is a good manta to have. I need to adopt this one!

some DH are certainly nicer / more considerate than others that’s for sure

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