To ask you to buy a house with me?

[Vinsomer]

Lighthearted but also this is a brilliant idea. I'm aware asking anonymous people on the internet to move in with you is probably a short cut to getting murdered, but part of me still thinks it would solve all my problems.

I'm now the only one out of all my friends who doesn't have a house. I'm searching at the moment but it's not going brilliantly.

I've been budgeting, saving and investing for years and have a decent chunk of money for a deposit. My outgoings are low; old car, ancient phone, no holidays since pre-covid. I'm pretty financially responsible. My friends have far higher outgoings than me (and most of them are a good few years younger) and yet I'm the only one who can't seem to get on the property ladder. Why?

Because I'm single.

This appears to be the root of all my house purchasing problems. All my coupled up friends obviously have twice the borrowing potential, plus they can split the bills. My mortgage broker has said lenders are more comfortable lending to couples as it's safer.

When I do buy I'll get a lodger to help with bills but that comes with the added stresses of becoming a landlord (they've always been the enemy ever since my student house-share days) and the concerns that they could leave/not pay the rent/trash the house as they have no real stake in it.

So:

Who wants to buy a house with me?

I'm after a 2 (or 3) bed house in a not terrible area. Somewhere in the general vicinity of the midlands (I couldn't afford a broom cupboard in the south). Garden is a must, bay windows are a big plus.

Looking for a female housemate to split bills and go halves on a mortgage. I don't mind kids if they're past the nappies and crying through the night stage, but no live-in partners. If you have/want a dog I'll move in with you tomorrow. If that's not your thing I'll settle for a Guinea pig, but I do need something fluffy (or feathery or scaly) to cover in unconditional love.

I'm a quiet and tidy housemate, I spend far too much time at work so you'll have the house free every other weekend. You'll have to put up with me occasionally coming home from work in the middle of the night but years of house shares and shift work have made me a pro at tiptoeing up the stairs. If kids are a factor I'm an excellent babysitter, although admittedly I am a terrible cook.

Can provide references from my uni housemate of 4 years.

AIBU to think this is the perfect solution?

But you’d need someone you get on with, and who gets on with you.
What happens if either of you meets a partner and wants to move them in?
What if one of you becomes pregnant and keeps the baby?
What happens if one of you wants out? How would you sell a share in a house?

I think it’s potentially very problematic.

I used to daydream about buying a big house with my best friend when we were both young single mums. Then we fell out.
It’s a lovely idea in theory, but sooo many problems that could (and most likely would) arise! X

With the right person I genuinely don't see it as any more problematic than buying a house with a partner! I know my female friendships have far outlasted any relationship I've ever been in, and brought a lot more positive to my life.

I'm not necessarily saying I want to live together until old age (although if it works who knows!) more than it would be an opportunity for both parties to build equity in a house rather than chucking rent at a landlord. If that's only for 5-10 years that's still going to give us both an opportunity to build up a good chunk of equity and then we would be able to sell up and go our separate ways, hopefully more amicably than after a breakup.

I do admit I wouldn't know what to do if my housemate got pregnant 😂 invest in a white noise machine?

Ah that's so sad!

I do know I'm being silly really, just trying to find some fun in quite a frustrating situation.

YABU. Have you considered befriending rich elderly people instead?

It could work? Especially if you both agreed to a tie in time period. Say 5 yrs after which you would both agree to sell, hopefully with increased equity. If both parties were happy could extend for another 5yr block. I think housing is so expensive in this country.

I had friends who bought a house together, and took in lodgers for the other two bedrooms. It worked well for them. It possibly helped that prices were going up at the time, so when they went their separate ways a few years later there was enough equity for them both to move on with. You do need to be sure you get on well enough, and think through all the "what ifs" - obviously the most likely problem is that one of you meets someone and wants out, but the other can't afford to buy them out. I guess maybe you hope that the partner is able to buy the still-single person out, but then they're back to square one.

I think it can work, but there are also pit falls. I know two people who bought with siblings, then things got awkward when one of the siblings met partners and wanted to change the dynamic. I considered buying with a friend when I am younger and I am glad I didn't. I am not the tidiest person, but she is borderline hoarder, so that would have led to problems. We are still good friends now, not living together. There would need to be agreements on doing the washing up, people staying over, what happens if one person loses their job etc beforehand.

Hmm. I hadn't thought about that, but I don't think that's right for me! I'd assume that a rich elderly person would already own their home, so no opportunity for me to gain equity or get onto the property ladder.

If you're talking about getting them to write me into the will, that's not for me either! Morals aside, having recently lost three much loved grandparents and seen how my aunts and uncles behaved in the following months the last thing I want is to insert myself into another families inheritance drama!

I do agree with this. On a serious note I've seen so many people rush into relationships or stay in bad relationships for too long and I think a huge factor in that is that it's so hard to afford a house as a single person.

We did this years ago with another couple so we could all get on the property ladder. My friend had done it previously with two friends. It’s a great idea.

Some potential issues. I'm assuming you'd buy the house in 50/50 shares. I wouldn't get a mortgage together, too risky, so you'd each need a seperate loan, the back may not be happy about not having the whole property as security as that makes it more problematic if one defaults. You might need to both borrow from the same bank.

Having gotten past that funding hurdle what happens if the other person losses their job and defaults? What happens if they redraw on the mortgage? You'd want it written in that each individual's debts are set against their 50% of the property as opposed to each of you owning 50% of the equity, otherwise they'd benefit from paying less or you paying more. You'd need some form of break clause written in and agree in written form contingency plans for things like job loss, getting sick or being in an accident. Even assuming it would have similar chance of success as a marriage issues like ill health and job loss are more complex in your scenario than in a marriage or other long term relationship. It could work very well or it could be a disaster. The more you can plan and agree on beforehand better chance of it being successful.

A friend did this, many years ago. The guy he purchased with died about a month after they moved in.
they had joint and several ownership, but the family were quite arsey.
Real shame; they were both in they're late 20s, lost touch, but I hope it worked out OK in the end.

I raise you: somebody just buy me a house and never contact me 😇😂

Op I love this idea! I had a lovely house on outskirts of London (very over priced area but lovely area - central line and Epping forest on doorstep ) but lost it in divorce with a monster

have a ‘deposit’ but not enough as a single woman so using it to pay DOUBLE what my mortgaged lovely house was on now a privately rented apartment (lovely apartment with 24 hour conceirge .. in the city with a huge award winning park on doorstep .. gorgeous brand new property all walls are glass windows meaning it’s a sub catcher with a balcony BUT it’s fortunes going on rent! And it’s dripping away so quickly!

I love your idea and I also have a rescue doggo (from a farm) she’s older now but still full of beans and plays .. I’m also a trained dog trainer so she’s an angel and the most well behaved pup known to man

I’m sleep deprived so maybe im
talking madness but I don’t see anything wrong in your idea and way of thinking .. people buy houses with their partners every day and one in two marriages now end in divorce so one could say to even consider buying a property with a partner could be seen as ‘madness’ …

• Sun catcher not sub (no glasses 🤓)

Thank you! I'm glad someone agrees with me 😂

Your apartment sounds lovely, big windows are brilliant! Nothing beats natural light ☀️ Although I don't even want to imagine the rent!

I us d to daydream about this. I agree with pp that setting it up as a fixed time period would make it seem more manageable. I’m an easy person to live with; I like other people; and I’ve house-shared with strangers quite often in my life.

Sadly I’m now married so I’m not your perfect match but still I think it’s a great idea.

This used to be fairly common the last time interest rates were high, years ago.

Two singles would buy together, house share for a few years and then sell, take their share of the equity and buy separately. Nothing foolish about it at all.

I think it was more common between people who had already shared a house though and knew they could tolerate each other.

This is a thing, in a good way I mean, I think there is 'flatshare'
sharing websites

It is a great idea ad long as people are matched carefully, I am married but for me I love watching TV reading and would hate a party animal who brings home noisy partners

It seems popular with older people also

I agree. I think it's a solution that could work and I hope you find the right person.