Everything I do is never good enough for my parents

[ano174829191]

Long story short in 2022 in left sons dad due to been cheated on, on and off for 10 years to which my dad told me I should stay and make it work but I knew this was it there was no going back so I left with nothing which meant the house and car, so fast forward two years I’ve finally nearly done up my new house which dad has moaned at me for not been able to afford to do it all up in one go and mentions it everytime he comes but now I managed to save enough to buy myself a car which is an old 07 plate but it’s reliable and does the job to which he has done nothing but brought me down about it telling me that’s an old banger, you better not be bringing to our hol and basically take the p!ss out of me, when I was so excited to finally be able to buy something for me and my son, think he forgot I’m not a child anymore and don’t stand for his shit to which he doesn’t like..
does anyone else think it’s stupid to buy an old car that I had checked over has good mot and only thing that needs replaced is a tyre

Not stupid at all! You’re starting a fresh on your own and sound to be doing an amazing job. You should be proud of yourself.

It sounds like your Dad doesn't like you being independent and standing on your own two feet

Blimey I’d be over the moon if you were my DD.

What you have achieved is absolutely amazing. Frankly your dad sounds like an abusive wanker. Sorry to be so blunt, but he should be nothing but immensely proud of you. Sounds like he's giving you a hard time cos you left your abusive relationship, which is very strange. Distance yourself from him, just cos he's your dad doesn't mean you need such negativity in your life. You also don't want your son hearing that crap.

OP you sound like a fucking hero and so incredibly strong to get away from a bloke who didn't deserve you, and in very difficult circumstances - and then get so sorted as you have. Your dad sounds quite toxic tbh. I know exactly the type as I have one myself and this sort of behaviour sounds v familiar... Is he a narcissist or just a bully? Is there something about you staying with a cheater that benefitted your dad in any way? Why would he project such low self worth onto you? Anyway it's very difficult navigating parents like these, I don't have the answers myself but if you're looking for validation / being "good enough" from your dad you won't get it under any circs and the better you do (as you've proven) almost the worse they become. I'd prob adjust the relationship you have with him to ensure you're protecting yourself and insulated from his put downs. And tell yourself you are MORE than good enough and doing incredibly well for yourself ❤️

That's sad OP. Like you I had to start again with DS after a cheating and abusive exh. I was really lucky though as mum and dad couldn't be prouder of what I achieved - be proud of yourself you have done this by yourself and are like supermum!