To feel lonely

[Mumstheword777]

Does anyone else find Easter/ Xmas etc a really lonely time? My husband and I have one child and we're usually really busy with work during the week. I work from home now and while I used to be happy at weekends just the 3 of us, lately I've been finding at weekends and especially when its the holidays I feel lonely and really crave time with people (family / friends). The problem is I don't have other people to spend time with! We had a family meal Friday with my parents, my sister, her hubby and their 2 daughters at my parents house but we only see each other for say lunch 4 or 5 times a year (sister lives 2 hours away from us). As soon as we got home after a lovely day I felt this huge sense of loneliness! I'd love to see more of my sister but they're pretty busy people and they're happy with just meeting up a few times a year. I have some cousins but we don't see them much as they spend their time with their immediately siblings and kids. We don't have many friends and DH doesn't have any family as is an only child. Do other people feel like this? How do you cope / deal with it? Is it possible to feel happy with just a small family (three) without seeing much of other people? X

If you want more people in your life then put your effort into that!

Did you invite your DSis and your DPs for Easter Lunch?

You are not being unreasonable but unless your circumstances change it might just be something you'll need to get your head round 😒. I used to dread the Easter break when I was married with 2 children so I think it's a fairly common feeling and some people can feel lonely even in a crowd. If you can't see a way of changing your set up then your only option is to change how you deal with it. Next year can you book an activity or trip for each day (something to go on the calendar so it doesn't look as daunting)?
Sending a big hug anyway x

I didn't because my sister and my parents wanted my daughter and my neices to spend a few nights at my parents house together so we all had an early Easter get together. My daughter is still there with my neices. My sister and brother in law have gone home.

Exactly. Make new friends. Populate your life with new people if you don’t see the ones currently in your life enough.

Thank you for your lovely message. Yes booking some trips is a good idea. Can I ask why you used to dread the easter weekend when you were married with children? It's comforting to know it's not just me! Did you not have much family / friends around?

I felt sorry for you until I read that you still have your family around here. Op my family lives over 9000 miles away. All of them. So does DH family. I last saw my family about 4 years ago. My dc know their cousins over videos. Yours is still with their cousins and GP's. But we have made our own family here by friends, neighbours. I think you really don't know how lucky you are.

It's usually just me, DH and DS who is 3 but we never feel lonely. We only see family every few months and that's enough. I really cherish the time we spend together as a 3. Everyone is different though. How old is your DS? Can you make any other parent friends? You need to expand your circle somehow if it's not enough.

I live on my own and I don't feel lonely. I'm off to pet sit for friends this afternoon and will eat with them when they get home. I went to two fitness classes on Friday (I have good friends at the gym), and stayed at home yesterday.

I think it goes to show that you can feel lonely even with people around you and you're not unreasonable to feel as you do. I hope you're able to make some changes to help you feel better.

Not everybody has the same kind of family. There is more than one way in which a person can be lucky or unlucky.

And more than one way in which people can feel lonely.

I'm sorry you feel that way. But do at least make some efforts. Why not suggest to your DSis that since the cousins enjoyed their time together with grandparents, that she brings your nieces over for a weekend. Kids can play and you two can catch up. Plan a couple of outings.

Invite your parents too for a weekend or big Sunday get together.

Do you have a couple of families locally with DC same age as yours? You could also organise a few BBQs with them as the weather gets warmer.

I didnt really elaborate properly... My family is quite complicated. My parents have never got on well but are still together. My childhood was difficult because there was a lot of arguing and some emotional neglect etc. My sister and I also have a complicated relationship and although I'd love to be closer she likes to have some distance. I see some siblings who get on really well or people who get on well with their parents (I know nothing is ever perfect of course! / things arent always what they seem etc). But my family aren't close although my parents are great with my daughter and neices. My sister likes her kids spending time with my daughter but she's not too bothered about spending time with me herself which makes me feel quite sad if im honest. It's quite complicated!

Yes, I should do this.. I have tried .. I dont seem great at making new friends etc. Have tried with daughters friends parents but they all seem busy and sorted with their own friendship groups and families and don't seem to want or need new friends..

Im not sure what your problem is tbh - you have a child and dh and saw family on friday! Im not sure how you can be claim to be lonely!

A lot of people have none of those things.

A bit of gratefulness can go a long way.

Take stock of what you have. You are lucky

Because I felt lonely in my marriage and we eventually divorced 😔

Oh I see.. I'm sorry to hear that. I hope things are better now for you x

I understand. I feel lonely today because I miss my mum. She used to love Easter. Even though I knew she had cancer last Easter I still thought she'd be here this year.