To think my son's behaviour isn't normal

[Stugglingwithson2023]

Name changed
I have a dd11 and a ds8 and ds4 (almost 5) My ds8 is autistic.

My ds4 is out of control he never sits down always on the go and climbing everything. He can't even walk without jumping or running away.

He talks constantly but rather at you rather then with you.
He breaks things on purpose and throws anything thats in his way.
When he is told no he screams at the top of his lungs for ages and will spit and kick punch etc when is is in a state nothing we do helps or calms him down.

I have been on courses and begged for help
I don't know what to do anymore.

Can you identify triggers? If you know what causes the behaviour can you put things in place that prevent it?

Why does nursery think it's your parenting?

Hi op you are much better going to a GP now. I'm a reception teacher and I know you can get on different assessment pathways before they start school. It you wait until school a GP will probably ping pong you back to schools and some boroughs have waiting lists of years to even see an Ed psych. Go to the GP and flag it with a lot of confidence!

There is also something your nursery can apply for to attach funding to your child that will mean that the school is 'on it' as soon as they start. Schools are held accountable for what they do with this funding.

I have spoken to the headteacher at his school but because the nursery thinks its my parenting i don't think it will come to anything. I know enough about the system to know without school/nursery backing nothing will come of assessment just now. Also we are in Scotland so psa and funding is different. The school can refer to services without a assessment.