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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be worried that I fancy him?

3 replies

crossmyheart3 · 30/03/2024 23:17

hi

honestly not sure why im even posting this, apologies! I think I just needed to get it off my chest and tell someone, even if its anonymously on here

I work as part of a big team and within that team im part of a closer friendship group. we meet up outside of work and have our own group chat etc. We/re all mid 20s. The entire team is really nice and theres a lovely atmosphere/work relationship with everyone

ive always had lots of male friends, and ive spent my entire life basically being accused of flirting when actually im just having banter with them the same way I would do with my female friends. But ive realised recently that I think I sort of like one of my friends in that way. I can't believe im even admitting that but I think I do.

We get on brilliantly as friends but I dont actually see it ever being anything more than that, and I would never ever want him to find out and for it to affect our working relationship and also friendship. and obviously if he didnt feel the same way about me, I wouldn't want him to be uncomfortable or think I had a crush on him every time we get on as friends etc. so basically, I would never do anything or say anything to anyone about it, but I think I sort of like him

I was always brought up to put my job first (as in, climb up the corporate ladder before looking for a relationship etc!) I know that's not 100% solid advice but its how I was brought up so I think that's why it feels like a bit of a shock to think I sort of fancy one of my friends

has anyone else ever had similar situations? how did you get over it? I really value our friendship and would never want anything to come in the way of that but I think I really do sort of like him x

im also a massive over thinker too in case that wasn't already obvious!

OP posts:
IWasAimingForTheSky · 30/03/2024 23:46

It all sounds a bit immature. Sorry.

When you say you've always been accused of thar, by who?

MurderousCheekbones · 30/03/2024 23:53

Are you both single? If so, what's the problem if you do like him?

Hiddenvoice · 31/03/2024 03:47

It’s okay to like him, remind yourself that it’s only human to develop feelings for someone you’ve become close to.
If you want to act on it then try chat to him more one to one and see how he reacts.
If you don’t want to act on it then treat it like a crush, admit to yourself that it’s only a crush and just leave it at that.

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