To be annoyed at a nickname change at work?

[ArchesOfsunflowers]

For some reason people are consistently changing my name at work, across multiple sites I go to. It’s also happening at a DC’s club. It’s being used more than my name!
Firstly, I’m not English by birth/ it’s not my first language but I’ve been here since childhood - but my perception of the nickname is it’s more familiar and a child’s version. It’s adding the ‘ie’ sound.
I already use an anglicised version of my name, which is my work email and the email sign off I use and always introduce myself as. I don’t mind being called either my full name (if people know it, I don’t share it often and no one but payroll sees it) or my chosen nickname. My email has always been my chosen nickname so people don’t misspell my email address. It’s getting on my nerves though the sound. It’s not unpleasant, I know adult women who use it. It’s just not me, and it feels like a soft and familiar version to just assign to someone. I’m nearly 6ft and nearly 50, it feels too young and too soft.
It’s like Rose becoming Rosie, Kate becoming Katie or Ann becoming Annie.
Am I perceiving this wrong?
I’ve politely corrected but it’s multiple women who slip back.

The menopause is manifesting for me as irritability btw …

YANBU. I have a name that lots of people like to shorten. I correct them, and if they insist I just don't answer, or I say "I don't answer to that" and then ignore them till they use my actual name.
It works, because no one shortens it more than once!

How are you perceiving it? It’s probably not intentional. I find it’s hard to keep similar names straight sometimes. I know a couple of Katies and a Kate, though none of them that well. I can never remember which one is Kate.

I do try, though. The more I’m corrected, the more likely I’ll be to get it right.

My name is extremely simple yet I've seen many different names used instead. Think Sarah becoming Sam, Susie, Sally and Laura... I think people just don't pay attention. Yes it's rude but they probably do it to lots of people...

I add an ie to people I really like, it's an affection thing.

That is my husband’s theory. I wouldn’t mind if they were close, but from random people at work it just feels presumptuous?
I change my children’s names to a nickname, but I wouldn’t other peoples.
It’s a professional environment. I’m someone who pops in 4-10 times a year across many sites, not a regular always there friend.

It’s always the same nickname.
Say I was Katherine. Never Kat, Kathy, Kath, Kate… always Katie. I guess it feels like there’s a reason because it’s consistently changed

Hmmm depends whether you think this is laziness, infantilisation, sexism or racism!

I'm mixed ethnicity and have a very very unusual name (has come up on the inevitable Mumsnet name threads a couple of times). I have never liked my name shortened because usually I perceive it as low key racism - can't be arsed to learn my full name which is no more syllables than any other name, and phonetically not an issue for an English speaker.

So when people have tried to shorten my name to one with an anglicised 'ie' sound at the end I just repeat my full name. In fact, my first memory of doing that is when I was 7 years old at swimming lessons and my swim teacher tried to give me an English name. Sorry hun, nope.

I chose a nickname aged 7 that stuck and I’m fine with. Used it so long it’s me, it’s not that it’s English. Well maybe it’s partly, I think the very English ie version is a little silly for me.
Its the name being maybe for a younger woman? Or a familiar name. It’s like the polar opposite of calling a senior male at work ‘sir’ or ‘mr xxx’. I doubt they’d be renaming a 50 yr male called David ‘Davey’ or something so familiar! Or if they introduce themselves as Joseph noone’s going to called them Joey

You need to escalate the correction. If they don't listen the first time, tell them again more firmly, and tell them every single time.
Whenever this comes up on here some people say it wouldn't bother them. It does bother me, because it's disrespectful. It's like they're saying "I'll call you what I want to call you".

Maybe that’s why it bothers me ‘I’ll call you what I want’. It’s treating you as lesser, particularly with a familiar kind of nickname. It’s just annoying me as it’s happening so much- and I can’t work out why? Or what I’m missing with the change? These people do not interact and are geographically far apart which no contact. Is it just a thing..

Have you said 'coukd you call me 'Kate' or 'Catherine' please, I really hate 'Katie'

however to address your actual question. I don't think making people aware that 'Catherine' is fine, 'Kate' is your preference, but you hate 'Katie' is unreasonable, but I think you're reading their intention incorrectly.

I have been calling a relatively new friend 'Becky' as that's how I was introduced to her, what her Mum , siblings & partner call her. Her Mum has just told me she doesn't like it, prefers Rebecca. Now I feel awkward. I'm going to have to ask her, 🙄🙄

I like my name. it gets pronounced very differently around the country, but I'm not bothered. It gets shortened to a non name, I don't mind that either. I also get called an alternative name & I don't really understand why, by several people who don't know each other, I find it 'odd' but don't mind. In fact, I'm more surprised when people actually use my name & pronounce it 'normally'. Thank god I'm so laid back about it I suppose.

Is there by any chance some TV or film personality with the ie version of the name who has just become well-known? That might explain why a load of people who don’t know each other have suddenly started calling you it, maybe that version is just more commonly heard in the media at the moment?

I’m aware I’m already easily perceived as agressive/ angry. I’m tall and I have an accent that lingers that people perceive as hard. I’m not a natural smiley person in the British way so much, though I try it’s not natural. I’ve had jokes about being very hard or scary.
It makes me reluctant to be really direct and say ‘don’t call me…’. I try to be more subtle. Slip in my name soon after or something, introduce myself to others in the room present with the correct name after they’ve greated me as —-ie.
It’s a balance I find tricky.
I tend to reserve being very direct for the more serious comments that need addressing clearly (like, oh your written English is really good!/ oh your accent is understandable!/ will you ever move home…). I try not to be difficult constantly and let things slide otherwise, but it’s bothering me inside

Possibly… fair idea

@NearlyBritishSummertimeYay How awful that Rebecca's mum knows she doesn't like being called Becky but still does it. Just why would you do that?
It reminds me that my grandmother called my mum by her ugly middle name, which she hated. And it got shortened to a non-name which was even worse. Her father, siblings and my dad did it too. None of them seemed to care that she hated it, they just laughed. Later in her life she finally decided she'd had enough, and started introducing herself as her real name. She was so happy to hear people call her by her real first name.
I understand how you feel @ArchesOfsunflowers , it isn't just that they use a version of your name, it's a somewhat infantilising one. But I'm sure you can reverse this. If you make it clear enough, often enough, they will start to correct each other.

@ArchesOfsunflowers I understand your reluctance, but I think it's about finding the words and using the right tone. Instead of "don't call me Katie" try "Sandra, I don't go by Katie, it's Kate". Then when she says Kate, thank her. And if she calls you Katie again, say it again.

I usually say ‘I know too many Katys. I’m a Kate or a Katherine or I’ll think you are talking to someone else. Now what were you saying about the book club?’

What’s funny is two of them are called Sanda.
Kate/ Katie isn’t maybe the best example. As Katie is so common. It’s more Beth/ Bethie A nickname that’s very familiar and not so commonly used as a given name

Very annoying.

Do you think that someone influential at work could be using that name for you and that's why people are catching on to it? Like someone is sending an email out that "Katie's coming to the office on Tuesday" or mentioning you in a meeting?

People who like me don’t do this to my name as it’s obviously unsuited to me. Think Jane/Janie - the ie is cutesy and very Not Me.

OP, it’s hard to do without sounding tetchy in my experience! But asking people to get it right is the only way. I had ask my own parents not to use the ie ending, I’ve hated it since I was a child and in my 20s I couldn’t put up with it any more. I felt mean but they stopped.

Out of interest, is it Ruth?

Is it Lynn into Lynnie,my friend gets this,I use a shortened version of my name and quite a few people call me it twice in a sing song voice!!!

I also think it's really rude. Especially when you are their superior. Sounds too over familiar in a work environment. Would you feel comfortable sharing the name, perhaps there could be another reason they are shortening it?

@ArchesOfsunflowers just correct them. That’s not acceptable.

Incidentally, my friend of indian decent and I always use a convolution of our names when we go away to book restaurants etc I have an easy first name and she has an easy surname. So we usually combine them. Although we just used her name in Mauritius. Socially with people you’ll never meet again it matters, at work it does,