Money talk

[Anon565326]

I've been dating a guy for a few months and we have finally had the money talk. He is a great guy and gets on well with my child but the talk has left me uneasy. He has had some ups and downs with work the last year. I am sympathetic but he did reveal he has no savings and his credit rating is terrible. He then went on to explain if we ever bought a house it would need to be in my name and he would pay me his share monthly.
I'm not comfortable with that so we are back to square one atm. In the midst of this we've been planning to go on holiday. This morning I gave him a rough price and he asked can we put it on my card and pay me back in a few months as his job is due to end in a few weeks. I'm by no means rich but I'm comfortable. I can't decide if he is just genuinely going through a tough time or is he a bit of a moocher?

Drop and move on.

Does he work, if so what does he do ? Is there any reason for a poor credit rating like debts etc from a previous relationship or gambling ? I would definitely get to the bottom of this before embarking on any financial commitments with him.

No, I wouldn’t date someone as financially unstable as this.

Run. Honestly, this is not good. Don't go on holiday with him if he can't afford it.

I've been dating a guy for a few months and we have finally had the money talk. He is a great guy and gets on well with my child

Why has he spent enough time with your child to get on well with them when you been seek by him for a period that could be counted in weeks? Was he previously a friend? Is the chicks quite old?

You talk about “finally” having the money talk, like that’s A Thing. As people like to say on MN - there’s food in my fridge older than your relationship.

That said - meh, get rid. Even if you can accept that some people don’t ever be in a position to buy a house, “I’ll pay you back” from someone you’ve barely met is ridiculous. At this stage he should say, “no cash flow for that - would you like to go away once I’m sorted?”

“He then went on to explain if we ever bought a house it would need to be in my name and he would pay me his share monthly.
I'm not comfortable with that so we are back to square one atm.”

What does that even mean?!!
You’re not back to square, you never left square one. You’ve only been seeing him that, 3-4 months?! 🤣

He has moved jobs 4 times over the last year and is now currently in agency work. When I first met him he was just moving into a new job which was a better job but then left as he said his mate was offering a better job again. It was very sudden though and he didn't give notice.It wasn't a better job, it was self employed and seasonal. he has been on agency work the last few weeks. We did have a long talk and he has never been in a job for more than 6 months. He's made the odd comment about me being well off and I'm not. I'm lucky to be in a decent job and I'm sensible with my money.

So he’s assuming you’re a great person to move in on who will pay for everything while he just flits from job to job? No thank you, that’s not something you need especially when you have a child.

Time to move on, he’s got cocklodger tattooed on his forehead.

Whatever about the future, do not put his holiday on your card.

The "few months" will never end.

He can't afford to go, end of.

He's not much of a catch, OP. Sounds like you would be funding him. I'd throw him back.

Who suggested going on holiday ? Please dont put it on your card , you know you will not see his share .
I think he is a user and I think you deserve better

Definitely a no from me, he could potentially drag you down financially and the resentment would kick in and that's a relationship killer almost every time.

Sounds like someone who can’t hold down a job and cannot (chose not to) save money. I bet he makes comments about you being ‘rich’ and having loads of cash, when it reality you’ve just held down your career and have been responsible with saving over the years as and when you can.

He cannot afford to go on holiday & is presuming you’ll put it on your card after only knowing him a wet week. If he can’t afford it he can’t go, end of story. If it was a lads week away would he call up his friend to put it all on his credit card? No.

Potential cocklodger, and you are not singing from the same hymn sheet regarding money.

You’re only been dating a few months, and this money situation is giving you the ick. He may be a nice guy, but there’s no long term future in this. For me, four jobs in one year is a red flag.

We did have a long talk and he has never been in a job for more than 6 months.

😮😮😮🚩🚩🚩

How old is he?

He’s a cocklodger.

This morning I gave him a rough price and he asked can we put it on my card and pay me back in a few months as his job is due to end in a few weeks.

If he’s going to be out of work he can’t afford a holiday. Before you know it his housing will be insecure and can he just move in with cos it just makes sense , you’ll be working, paying for everything and running the house.

Don’t pay his holiday, don’t let him live with you, double up on contraception or better still, get rid.

He’s looking for someone to look after him. Do not tie yourself financially or otherwise to this man.

He's made the odd comment about me being well off and I'm not.

I think you've been targeted OP.

Where on earth did you meet him in the first place?

He clearly sees you as his new line of credit.

He can't afford a vacation. I wouldn't go in his situation, nor would I travel with someone who was. He should be busy looking for his next job - but I'm financially cautious.

Argh. Dunno how to delete this stupid gif, sorry.

He’s financially unstable but not necessarily a mooch. Different attitudes toward work commitments and finance would become even more difficult to manage as time goes on.

Cocklodger Alert with the brightest of red flags blowing.
You have been warned.

He can't afford to go on holiday so he should not be going. If this is how he conducts his affairs, it's no wonder he's broke. He has a bad attitude towards money and that often doesn't change.

Definitely do not put the cost of a holiday on your card. I would wait until you can both afford to pay for the entire holiday before booking anything with him.

He doesn't seem to have learnt anything at all from his financially tricky past - given he is prepared to spend money on a holiday that he doesn't even have. He can't afford a holiday and he just doesn't get it. That's a concern.