Minor manners question

[Robotnik]

Minor manners question, but this keeps happening to me, and I think I'm not doing anything wrong but other people clearly think I'm being an arse. So AIBU?

Basically, if I'm walking towards something like a self-checkout, and I'll get there just slightly ahead of other people, I don't give way to them. I'm not putting on a burst of speed or ninja rolling in front, I'm just not giving way. Very often the other people don't slow down either and have to awkwardly stop short behind me like the three stooges, and then act as if I've barged in front of them.

I do of course give way if the person is frail, using a mobility aid, with heavy bags or young children, etc. But if they're adults that appear as able to walk and wait as I am, I don't. Even if there's ten of them and I'm by myself.

I'm asking because it happened again today: I was walking towards a cafe at the same time as a couple approaching from the other direction. I got there slightly ahead, and they didn't slow down at all so they basically trod on my heels as I entered. They then sailed past me when I stood at the 'wait to be seated' sign and tried to take a table. When the cafe staff told them they had to wait to be seated, they came back and stood in front of me and the sign. When I said "excuse me, but I was here and queuing first" the woman barked "ALL RIGHT" at me as if harried beyond belief and clearly thought that I was in the wrong.

I know I'm not being nice by not being like "oh, you go first", but I don't think I'm being unreasonable. Am I?

I would master the art of speeding up unobtrusively, then it’ll be a clear win for you rather than neck and neck.

But why should she? Whether she's in front by a mm or a mile, she's in front and those people should've waited behind her. And not trod on her heels. And apologised for doing so. They could've sped up had they wanted to.

OP I don't believe YABU at all.

I have literally never experienced this. And I'm no wallflower or constantly letting others go first either

It doesn't sound unreasonable from your description, but if the other people who witness this all think you are being unreasonable, then maybe your interpretation of events isn't quite as accurate as you think?

Personally, I've never experienced this. Or seen it happen. If it's happening to you regularly then I'd suggest something is amiss.

I'd have thought the woman in the Cafè would have held her ground had she of been in the right.

Thank you, @cheeseandketchupsandwich. Not gonna lie, that was exactly what I wanted to hear

Interesting that it doesn't happen to other people at all because it definitely happens to me. Not daily, obs, but often enough. Do I live in an especially cutthroat area, or is there something about me that makes people assume I'll let them ahead of me? I do have a face like a mild mannered potato. Maybe it's that.

I’ve experienced what you describe a few times, but not really that many in 50 years. I think it happens more in places with a bit of a tourist industry. Do you live somewhere like that?

In any case, I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong, you’re just meeting more chancers than the average.

This happens to me. It's like I'm invisible. I often concede but sometimes don't. No one has trod on my heels though. The other thing is having to be the one moving out the way for people walking on the pavement when they're coming towards me. I often move over but men in particular don't. One time I didn't move 'lane' and last second he had to and he really didn't like it and said 'what are you doing?' I said same as you - walking.

Maybe you're onto something, @RawBloomers - I do live in a touristy area, yes.

The woman in your case was miffed you 'won'.

I’ve had this a few times (as recently as this week) but being a people pleaser I always say “after you”. Yes, they’ve won but I’m really not bothered about the few seconds/minutes I may have to wait, and more importantly it doesn’t raise my blood pressure any further.

It's horrible feeling invisible @KarlaKK, good on you for standing your ground.

@Anewuser it doesn't raise my blood pressure particularly. I clearly raised someone else's today, though, so just wondered about it.