Toddler cinema club - AIBU

[maybeitsmaybellinebutmaybeitsme]

My assumption re toddler cinema was it’s a “gateway” to normal cinemas. You feel more comfortable going as people understand children are there and therefore there will of course be a degree of silliness/talking and movement. Just a more relaxed way of taking them and teaching them how to behave.

took DC 3 and 5 today for the first time and was totally amazed at the amount of children allowed to just do whatever they like - run around, speak at full volume throughout. Parents talking to children at maximum volume throughout. Children climbing over seats other people (strangers) are sitting on. Of course my own children also tried to speak etc but I thought the point was to teach them “we don’t speak in the cinema/if you have to say something whisper”.

I guess I’m just wondering (please be kind) if it’s my expectations that are unreasonable, or if this was a bad experience? Is it usually like this? I’m not sure I would go again if so - if anything it’s sending mixed messages to my children about cinema behaviour. Or do people just see toddler club as a bit of a playground/children do whatever and im being a fun sponge?

I agree with you. its different from relaxed cinema where the types of behaviours described are to be expected.

Normal cinemas are like this now too. One of the reasons I go very rarely these days. People treat it like its their own living room and have no consideration for anyone else.

I completely agree with you. If they are too small to be able to sit still for any period of time then they’re not ready for the cinema.
They should be able to stay in their seats for at least 20mins and to speak quietly when needed. If the film is not holding their attention then they shouldn’t be there. They should definitely NOT be climbing on other people or shouting.
Performances advertised for children with Sen are different. Expectations for behaviour in those would be different again.

This sounds appalling. I would have imagined it would be a gateway to general viewings so you would be teaching your child appropriate cinema behaviour without people getting cross with you. Apparently not. Just an excuse for lazy parenting by the sounds of it.

Also had my judgy pants on yesterday when I’m watching ghostbusters (12a) and there were at least 3 families in there with kids under the age of 5. They were disturbing people as such but they were running in and out a bit, unsupervised.

At one point a toddler came over to my child’s seat, several seats away. And took his popcorn. The mother was pretty slow to intervene and it was all very “gentle parenting”.

I Am glad it’s not just me - again I expected a degree of speaking/“ssshing” and parents telling children to sit but tbh none of the parents seemed to be correcting the behaviour.

This is my experience too. People seem to no longer have any concept of consideration for others. It’s all “I’ve paid my entry fee and if you don’t like it, sod off”.

That’s a bit depressing

I've never seem this. Were the other kids similar ages? I wondered if it was maybe more for the 1yo - 3yo age group, and really for the mums who are missing baby cinema now their kids are too old? But that that it just doesn't work that well with the age group

It’s 1-5 year olds. The children misbehaving were honestly a mixture of the ages, I would guess. Mostly 2-5. I don’t really understand the need for adults to talk to their children at full volume either “we have that dinosaur at home!” “Oh look, a tree!”

Maybe we were just unlucky!

"I don’t really understand the need for adults to talk to their children at full volume either “we have that dinosaur at home!” “Oh look, a tree!”

There is no need, they're just entitled show offs who think people are impressed by their performance parenting. Embarrassed for them.

I thought the idea of baby and toddler cinema was so that the parent gets a chance to see the film /cinema experience that otherwise they wouldn’t be able to? So for people who don’t have a babysitter for the adult to go to the cinema, they can go with the kid and other people aren’t judging the kid for running around and making noise because everyone is in the same position

That’s not gentle parenting. That’s just not parenting. Gentle parenting means doing it in a way so the the kid understands and learns indeed of just being scared eg hitting and screaming at them.

I think it depends, most of the ones I’ve been to haven’t been like this. Sen and relaxed performances are though.

I agree with you OP.
I'd expect the lights a little higher, the volume of the film to be a little lower and expect more chitty chat from the littluns. More questions to mummy, more toilet breaks etc but I'd expect the general behaviour to be the same as normal.
I'd be judging these parents a little bit too for having no boundaries and rules for their children when out in public 🤷🏼‍♀️

They don't tend to be adult films, it's not for the benefit of the parents that can't get babysitters. It's kids films, for small children.
I always feel sympathy for struggling parents who are out and about but this is treating a cinema like a play park or soft play centre and ruins the experience of other paying customers.
Doesn't do the children any favours either, growing up thinking that behaviour is appropriate.

I've never been to these showings but I thought the point was so that if your baby cries or your toddler needs to go to the toilet six times, you don't need to stress. I didn't think the point was so your kids can run riot. But like PP, this seems to be genera behaviour nowadays anyway. It's annoying going anywhere tbh.

We don’t go to toddler cinema because my daughter wouldn’t get anything out of it yet, but the clue is in the name. If you want a showing where everyone sits quietly then go to a regular showing. The age range is 1-5 but that’s to accommodate families. It’s really aimed at toddlers not preschoolers or school children.

That would be a With with Baby screening where you can take your a child under the age of 1 to watch normal films.

A Toddler Time screening is usually 30 minutes of a short children’s animation. I go sometimes and don’t care about children running around/climbing on stage/talking. It’s just something nice to do in the day. Tickets are cheap and parents don’t pay for entry so you can’t expect it to be like a normal showing

Last time we went, a mum made her daughter stand on the steps in pitch black in front of the screen and took multiple photos with the flash.

She told another dad to fuck off when asked if she could stop. People are feral and entitled.

It's an opportunity to take younger children to the cinema (or Sen children) who would be disruptive in a regular performance

I'd expect noise and movement

Gentle parenting is a technique that involves managing a child's behaviour effectively without resorting to anger/frightening/threatening/hitting .

It should result in the child altering their behaviour due to understanding they need to (on some level) rather than altering their behaviour due to fear /humiliation

I managed cinemas in my early 20s and those screenings are sort of seen as a safe space where children can watch a film, or their parents can access a film (parent and baby screenings especially) where they won't disturb other patrons by their short attention spans and they can get up and move about. It's an acknowledgment that they cannot sit for a 90 min presentation so are given their own screening, usually with the film at a lower volume and lights in the screen a touch brighter too, to experience a cinema screen and film but without the expectation of being still and silent. That comes with age and attention span.

Don't get me started however on cinema etiquette across the board though, I've not worked in one for over a decade and it was getting bad then so can't imagine what it's like now. Littering, talking, and looking at bright phone screens. Makes me furious even now.

Yes, it was a children’s film from the 90s

That's the point of baby cinema, yes.

But baby cinema and toddler cinema aren't the same thing.

Baby cinema is for the adults, so mums can feed & look after their babies while watching a film, and maybe meet some other mums in the cinema cafe too.

Babies have to be under 1, and they're not counted as watching the film so adult certificate films can be shown.

At least that's how it worked at my local one. Strictly no toddlers as then the films would have to be suitable for DC.

So toddler cinema is different, as the films need to be age appropriate.