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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It’s odd she invited me?

37 replies

Ithinkofyouallofthetime · 29/03/2024 21:21

I’ve become friendly with a work colleague, met up for dinner a couple of times, I gave her a lift to work when her car was in the garage.

She’s a single mum with an eight year old girl. She’s messaged me to say she’s booked a caravan for a week for her and her daughter and did I want to come.

We’re definitely not close enough to go away for a week, I’m childless so in the nicest way any time I go away it will involve going out in the evening and lastly a caravan is very small/intimate.

OP posts:
Dotdashdottinghell · 29/03/2024 21:46

Does she fancy you maybe?

Hermittrismegistus · 29/03/2024 21:48

Sounds like she wants to be your friend and would enjoy some adult company on her holiday.

LittleGreenDragons · 29/03/2024 21:52

Normally you ask people before booking so I wonder if someone let her down and she needs another person to pay half the costs.

It's up to you but I wouldn't do a caravan holiday with anyone except immediate family, not even PIL whom I like.

Neodymium · 29/03/2024 21:54

maybe she thinks there is more than friendship between you? It’s weird though I wouldn’t want to stay in a caravan with people I didn’t know that well

MrsO3 · 29/03/2024 21:55

It does seem a little forward that she’s invited you from how you’ve described the friendship but maybe she sees the friendship differently? She might think of you as a close friend whereas you just view her as a work colleague that you’re friendly with. Different things.
If you don’t want to go just be honest and politely decline maybe saying that caravan holidays aren’t your thing or making a joke and saying something along the lines of “I prefer crazy nights on the town and letting my hair down when I go on holiday- I don’t think you’d appreciate me rolling in drunk at silly o clock!”
Or if you’re not comfortable doing that you could always fib and say you have plans that week

doubleshift · 29/03/2024 23:01

Other people's kids. Caravan. Weird invite. No thanks.

determinedtomakethiswork · 29/03/2024 23:11

I think she just wants to be friends. Why not say that you would go down for a day and spend the night?

TheSnowyOwl · 29/03/2024 23:17

Maybe she hasn’t been out to dinner with anyone else lately and perhaps she didn’t have anyone else to ask when her car was in the garage. What’s a non-friendship to you might be the closest one she has.

Bobbotgegrinch · 29/03/2024 23:25

She's probably had someone else drop out so wants to find someone else. She obviously likes you as a friend.

Treat it as the compliment it is and if you don't fancy it just say No Thankyou.

Letsgocamping67 · 29/03/2024 23:27

She wants you to pay half. Also likes you I guess.

meganorks · 29/03/2024 23:36

It's a bit weird, especially as you have no kids. But it sounds like maybe she'd appreciate some adult company in the evening.
I've booked places before that have more rooms than we need and wondered if I should invite someone else (not to share costs - we are paying anyway). I never have though as my husband is more in the 'hell no! camp 😂

Olivie12 · 30/03/2024 01:08

I wouldn't immediately think something bad.

Perhaps she has no other friends and now considers you a friend. Definitely too soon for a week's holiday but you can just decline.

Ponoka7 · 30/03/2024 01:13

She's looking for friendship, as said it's just a little too soon.

GingersOwner26 · 30/03/2024 01:21

It was definitely meant for you, not a message meant for someone else that got sent to you by accident?

Lucythecleaner · 30/03/2024 01:43

Maybe she just wants to make friends. Being a single parent can be lonely.

RogueFemale · 30/03/2024 01:43

I can see it's a bit unexpected but don't think it's 'odd' exactly. You're both single adults and you say you're 'becoming friendly', have gone out for dinner a couple of times. So presume you get on quite well and like each other?

I think she just wants to build on a budding friendship - perhaps feeling a bit isolated as a single mother, different situation to you - so she just took a punt and asked you, in a friendly way. It's quite hard to build friendships without shared experiences.

But I totally understand why you wouldn't want to go.

(I think it'd be unfair to interpret it as if she only asked because she wants you to pay half or someone dropped out as others have said).

DramaAlpaca · 30/03/2024 02:12

No thanks. Caravans are for family and very close friends. I'd politely decline.

Onthebrink87 · 30/03/2024 03:02

RogueFemale · 30/03/2024 01:43

I can see it's a bit unexpected but don't think it's 'odd' exactly. You're both single adults and you say you're 'becoming friendly', have gone out for dinner a couple of times. So presume you get on quite well and like each other?

I think she just wants to build on a budding friendship - perhaps feeling a bit isolated as a single mother, different situation to you - so she just took a punt and asked you, in a friendly way. It's quite hard to build friendships without shared experiences.

But I totally understand why you wouldn't want to go.

(I think it'd be unfair to interpret it as if she only asked because she wants you to pay half or someone dropped out as others have said).

Agree with this. I also think, that being as you've done her favours, it's probably her way of wanting to do something nice and show appreciation.

Sure, she might be after a romantic affair or someone to split the cost - but I don't think in the grand scheme of things, that many people always have a hidden agenda!

Josette77 · 30/03/2024 03:51

She just sounds like she likes you.
I don't think it's odd. I think it's nice.

You don't have to go but I think it's lovely she thought of you. Try and see it as a compliment.

bradpittsbathwater · 30/03/2024 03:58

It's a bit odd but well meaning. She must see you as a good friend. I'd politely decline and say I couldn't make it though.

Autienotnaughtie · 30/03/2024 06:23

It can be a bit lonely going away as a single parent. I'm guessing she thought it would be nice to have some adult company and doesn't really get thst to someone without kids it's a bit weird.

I'd just say no politely - lots on, caravans not really your thing. It sounds like she's looking for a friend so you should think about if you are wanting a friendship with her.

CatCatCatCatCatCat · 30/03/2024 11:04

I do think it's weird but she is probably just lonely and thinks it might be lonely on her own (only adult) and sounds like she thinks the friendship is closer than you do, I don't think she fancies you 😑 or wants you to pay, just wants the company but perfectly ok to say no and I would too.

forrestgreen · 30/03/2024 16:13

'Oh I know you'll enjoy yourselves however I can't join you, have fun!'

PassingStranger · 30/03/2024 16:36

Can't anyone do anything nice, just say no if you don't want to go. I hope she dosent read this, it may have taken alot of courage to ask and you put it on a public forum. How would that make her feel?
You should feel honored that she asked and wanted to spend time in your company tbh instead of trying to bring her down.

londoner72 · 30/03/2024 16:39

I had a work colleague like this. I just saw her as a work colleague, however she thought we were really good friends and kept inviting me places and asking to meet every week. I think she was lonely, whereas I had other things going on in life and had a house to run/dog and husband to care for!