Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Does anyone need a lot of alone time ?

48 replies

SpanishTale · 29/03/2024 18:10

Myself and a friend are the same. She's one of 8 so attributes getting no time to herself as a kid to being like this. Most of my dad's family are like this so maybe it's genetic ? Lol. I need a lot of time alone to function. I get ratty if I'm harassed or disturbed during this time.

OP posts:
GinBooksChocs · 29/03/2024 20:15

Yes, I'm quite introverted. It's all about how you draw your energy,ir if you need some alone time or if you draw it from other people.

I dont hang my hat on them completely but there are some personality tests out there which you may identify with, one is 16 personalities.

There's a lot of intro/extravert rivalry. Wish people would accept we are all different and embrace the differences!

CatCatCatCatCatCat · 29/03/2024 20:16

Yes but as a lone parent I don't get any time alone.

ClockworkDisaster · 29/03/2024 20:35

Yes. I love being in my own company. My dad and one of my sisters us the same.

Minfilia · 29/03/2024 20:44

Absolutely and it pisses me right off if I have to be around people for too long. I even need a break from my family!

SummerGardener · 29/03/2024 20:46

Have you read about Highly Sensitive People? They often need alone time (about 20% of population are).

Whatsgoingonwithmyhead · 29/03/2024 20:49

Yes I definitely need alone time. Although I need time with other people too.

I know what I need now. So say for example I was invited for a 3 day hen weekend, I would agree to go for 24 hours and would have the best time. But if I tried to go for the full 3 days I would get overwhelmed.

MuggedByReality · 29/03/2024 20:50

Yes definitely. I need my space & I need my downtime. Always have done, always will. It’s one of the reasons I love WFH.

I never had my own room as a child, which may be part of the reason for this.

Compash · 29/03/2024 20:50

Happily, for days at a time sometimes. But I know that much more than that starts to make me weird...

RogueFemale · 29/03/2024 20:50

Only child background. I live alone and couldn't bear to live with another person. I have a cat, that is my company.

SnapdragonToadflax · 29/03/2024 20:51

Yes, loads. It's one of the hardest things about being a parent, for me.

One of my friends recently said she loves having a child because she always has a 'little buddy' with her, and I was so flabbergasted by this being a good thing I said 'Oh god, really?!' 😂

StealthMama · 29/03/2024 21:13

I'm one of four siblings and realised in my twenties that I need alone time to function. To breath away from everyone else's noise and drama and needs.

I'm mid forties now and married with a child and I commented to my dh yesterday that even the bloody dog follows me round the house between them all I am never alone!

But I'm getting better at making that time for myself.

MissMelanieH · 29/03/2024 21:14

Yes and I didn't realise this until I had my dc later in life and no longer had my alone time.

KnightsAway · 29/03/2024 21:15

Me. I constantly creep off to my bedroom to recharge.

StormingNorman · 29/03/2024 21:17

My DH is upstairs reading and I’m in the sitting room watching TV. We haven’t spoken in about five hours while we both decompress from a difficult week. The trick is to find someone you can be alone with 😂

Londonlassy · 29/03/2024 21:21

Yes. Love my DC to bits but after school holidays I am completely shattered. I long for solitude.

NinaPersson · 29/03/2024 21:22

Yes, I crave alone time

EC22 · 29/03/2024 21:23

I’m very rarely alone and I don’t like it when I am.

BoilingHotand50something · 29/03/2024 21:23

Funny isn’t it. I never had my own bedroom growing up and this has been mentioned several times. Must be a factor. I am also an introvert and love WFH.

verylongday · 29/03/2024 21:23

God yes. My family are all here until monday. 3 adult sons, 2 year old granddaughter and 90 year old father. They only came today and I'm already overwhelmed.
Ive just had a very long shower and im currently 'drying my hair' in the bedroom. Its amazing how long it takes to dry my hair these days.😉

MrsO3 · 29/03/2024 21:25

Before I had my DC I used to hate being alone. I’ve always been a ‘people person’ and would always want to be in the company of other people and make plans to ensure I was almost always with people, whether it was my DH, my mum, friends etc. Now that I have my children though (I have 3 kids aged 5 and under, I know, I’m crazy!) I neeeeeeed alone time SO much! Once they’re asleep I just need to be alone for about half an hour to unwind. I tell DH that I need some time just to be in silence and enjoy the peace before I can have a conversation with him or watch TV with him etc. Since being a mum I can get very overwhelmed easily which I didn’t before. So yes, I need alone time. Damn I really missed all of those opportunities for alone time pre kids didn’t I!

MrsO3 · 29/03/2024 21:26

EC22 · 29/03/2024 21:23

I’m very rarely alone and I don’t like it when I am.

This used to be me! Until I had my children. Do you have kids?

ladygindiva · 29/03/2024 21:27

Whatsgoingonwithmyhead · 29/03/2024 20:49

Yes I definitely need alone time. Although I need time with other people too.

I know what I need now. So say for example I was invited for a 3 day hen weekend, I would agree to go for 24 hours and would have the best time. But if I tried to go for the full 3 days I would get overwhelmed.

Oh god yes this. Infact I suspect the reason I have a dog is so that I have an excuse to avoid prolonged socialization! I'm only half joking. Fwiw I'm one of only two siblings but grew up in a very large house, my parents liked their space, so often noone had any idea where the other members of the family were, we were just doing our own thing in our part of the house and wouldn't have had it any other way! A household of introverts. My parents shudder at the new fangled open plan way of living that forces families to be together all the time 🤣

mizu · 29/03/2024 21:29

Yes! As a child I spent a lot of time reading in my attic bedroom quite happily.

Now in my job I work with / deal with / speak to many people during the week and can feel peopled out by the weekend.

In fact, I did a solo trip to London yesterday travelling 3 hours there to see a couple of exhibitions and it was bliss.

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 29/03/2024 21:42

I'm a bit of a misanthrope, and quite often fantasise about "Omega Man"/Post-apocalyptic/Zombie survival settings where I'm either the last person left alive, or alone apart from small pockets of survivors here and there.

I like company on my terms, but that amounts to socialising perhaps once per week and then 4-5 days where I don't see another soul. I'm not introverted, quite the opposite, I just don't crave company and I have no interest in pointless chit-chat. I deliberately do not live with my partner because we know we'd drive each other mad. I left a long-term relationship partly because they were big on "family", and I hated feeling compelled to spend what always felt like an eternity bored to tears in a house full of people I had nothing in common with at christmas and holidays. Eventually it got to the stage where I just refused to do it, which obviously became a sore point.

I'm perfectly happy doing my own thing on my own, I don't really understand the notion of loneliness because it's not something I've ever experienced, and I think I had to make a choice between spending the rest of my life living with other people or never seeing another human being again, I'd choose the latter. I always find it bizarre how many people, myself included, say things along the lines of you know when you are in a good relationship because you can both be happy ignoring each other for hours on end. Well yes, but there always comes a point where it's impossible to go on ignoring each other, whereas living on your own you can enjoy that peace and quiet indefinitely.

Day out with friends scheduled tomorrow, and then that will probably be the last time I see another human being in the flesh until next weekend because I'm working from home all of next week. Pretty much my ideal.

Heatherbell1978 · 29/03/2024 21:43

Yes it's the hardest thing for me about having kids. People I work with wouldn't know this about me as I've had to 'flex' my personality to get on at work. The phrase 'bring yoursejf to work' doesn't work for me as I'd not speak to anyone all day! As a result my work exhausts me so I crave alone time quite a lot but don't struggle too much to get it.

Swipe left for the next trending thread