DS is 12 and in Year 7. He has some learning difficulties and is therefore placed in a smaller class with other DC who have difficulties. He also finds it very difficult to make friends and the move to secondary school has been very hard for him.
DS broke up for half term last week and on the final day, he came home overjoyed to have made a friend; they’d swapped numbers and called that evening to play Minecraft. I was made up for him.
Unfortunately, it’s now obvious this friendship is not something I want to encourage. The other boy constantly swears, which I can let go, it’s only words and he’s obviously show boating. However, some of the talk I found wholly unacceptable and inappropriate. I asked him to stop (which was mortifying for my DS) but I have other DC in the house and there was no way I wanted them exposed to it. The other boy toned it down but made it clear he thinks I’m silly (to put it politely).
After it continued, I made my own DS come off the game for the evening.
DH now wants to “ban” DC from hanging around with this boy. As they are in the same class and hang around together at school, this is going to prove impossible. DS is obviously furious at DH’s suggestion and points out that we can’t choose his friends. He’s also upset because it has taken him so long to make this friend.
My thoughts are that DS is going to get exposed to this kind of thing throughout school and we cannot protect him from everything. Whilst we can limit his interactions outside of school with the other DC (they don’t live close to each other), I feel we should guide DS as much as we can and intervene where necessary in their interactions when overheard in our home.
I can already see a negative change in my own DS and his overall attitude , but I feel this is to be expected as a whole as he finds his way in the tween stage and the pecking order.
Who is BU?
YABU: Extinguish the friendship hardcore
YANBU: DS has to learn the skills to approach and deal with different people in life.