To think more people WFH with DC than let on

[Thorts]

NC. Will preface this: I’m pregnant, and I’ve worked in the early years sector for lots of years. I cannot imagine working from home with a young child, even one who sleeps a lot, unless it is an absolute emergency and even then I can imagine work suffers or you end up making the hours back up late at night. Despite this I can totally understand why people do and would never judge anyone for it, you do what you have to do. The cost of childcare being the main reason and then the availability of it. Some providers didn’t have space until my DC would be nearly two and I was enquiring less than a week after finding out I was pregnant.

Reading some older threads on here, people seem to share my view or have stronger opinions about why it’s wrong to WFH with a young child.

However, my experience of what people do IRL (might just be among those I know) is vastly different. I know a handful of people in various professions who admit to either them WFH or their partner working from home with the child there, for at least one day a week, to help cut costs down. Even my DM who always worked a hybrid position used to work from home whilst me and my sister were very young and said she just managed it and enjoyed the flexibility!!!

AIBU to think it actually happens a LOT more in real life than people are happy to admit?

why are you name changing?

you don’t balance childcare and wfh

Some people may recognise my username and know me by my previous posts who don’t know I’m pregnant yet

I have a colleague who I suspect sometimes does this. I’m her manager. I have no evidence and her work is good so it’s fine, it only becomes an issue if meetings are missed. I’ve made it clear to my whole team, I don’t want to see dc on calls unless they’ve let me know dc will be there (ill dc/childcare emergency). We are a really flexible employer though so there’s more openness. Saving half a day’s nursery fees is definitely inviting but in most jobs it’s not feasible.

Probably. Myself and every person on my team works while kids are at home during half term. Mine is asleep for most of the morning, she can fix her own breakfast and entertain herself until mid afternoon when her dad usually takes over. I pop out to check on her in between clients/meetings which is usually once or twice an hour. I am not sure this would be possible with a baby or a toddler but with school aged kids, it’s not an issue.

You're probably right. However it will be hard for employers to prove it I suspect.

what is your aibu? I wfh regularly as I have no access to childcare. I do my job what is the issue?

We obviously you can't care for your child properly and work at the same time.

oh yeah definitely.

tbh I don't necessarily have a huge issue with it - particularly if it's a one-off (child off sick for a few days etc.) Although "working" the whole 6 week summer holiday with a small child might be taking the piss. I would be concerned if it became known management would just remove WFH from everyone rather than discipline the individual staff members - which is bad management but commonly done.

But the whole point of wfh is increased flexibility - therefore in a well managed workforce people would have individual targets to reach, and if they otherwise achieved them (whether by working additional hours when children were in bed, or going hard-out for the weeks immediately before and after the holidays to counteract a few slack weeks in August), it might not be an issue. This is pretty much what my work does - everyone has their own caseload, if you did have a few 'distracted' or 'off' weeks (whether because of childcare, sickness, or anything else), the only one affected is you, so it doesn't really matter to me how my colleagues manage their time.

Particularly with older children - I can see if they can otherwise be left alone for 2-3 hours at a time to play/watch tv with minimal monitoring it would be a kick in the teeth to pay hundreds out for childcare when you could just keep an eye on them while working.

Probably, and in lots of cases it's fine. I'm not surprised given the cost of childcare.

I'm sure a couple of my team do. But they also get the job done and I manage by output, not input.

I do. and I am one of the top performers in my team. I occasionally work later in the evening but I need to work and don't have access to childcare. We still have bills to pay even though my child has complex SN. My employer is fully aware and granted me this working pattern in order to retain me. it works. wether you like it or not

Define 'properly'? Loads of parents watch telly, do DIY, hoover, garden whilst caring for kids.

in fact, I am much more productive than my office based colleagues who spend ages chatting by the water cooler etc.

I did during school hols and my employer was fine with it. And I had flexible hours so could take them to the park for an hour and make the time up later in the day. But mine are older and can entertain themselves while I work. I don’t think I could have managed it when they were younger.

So much for Mumsnet being a supportive site for women with children. Do you think women are doing it for shit and giggles or something?

if people are having to wfh and do childcare 1d/week to save costs, this is not something to sneer and judge about. It shows that they must be desperate to keep their job to pay their bills.

Lets stop making wfh and childcare some dirty secret, and look at the state of this country's extortionate childcare provision and cut women some slack (and it's almost always women who have to do it).

well if they can’t prove
then means no reduction in their productivity and meeting targets

It’s rife where I work and I’d say fairly obvious to spot but management doesn’t want to get involved. It drives me mad that people are getting paid the same as me and only doing half as much work though.

The obvious question is why you choose to do twice as much work as you think you need to?

I’m not - I’m doing a normal amount of work for the hours I’m paid for. My point was that many of my colleagues are spending half of the same hours they’re paid for looking after children instead. And yet we’re paid the same.

I only know one couple who do it with a child under 7.

I know a fair few who do it with older children.

So for me it feels like the opposite - lots of people do it on here and apparently have children who can entertain themselves from a remarkably young age, but IRL I don't see it.

Our school wraparound is pretty well used

shit management then

Suppose it depends on whether having kids there affects workload or not. As a customer I'm sick of talking to someone on a " customer service" line only to hear the sounds of " mummy mummy mummy" and bloody fighting as well as dogs barking. All that is very unprofessional. However if you have an 11 year old who is us in another room and causing no disturbance it's fine

So maybe some jobs it's possible but definitely not where you have to speak to the public

I mean, yeah, that’s why I mentioned management. It doesn’t negate the fact that they’re taking the piss though.

Parents definitely do at my work … however we had to work (at home) all through the lockdowns etc so they were asked to work whilst kids were home and suspect many just never sent them back to nursery / school wraparound when everything opened again.

I think if you are being paid to work then is not morally right to be caring for children at the same time. You may pride yourself on being as ‘productive’ as others not also doing childcare but I seriously doubt it, unless a pretty low level job.