To be grossed out by friend?

[RockHardCake]

night out planned for tonight. One particular friend has a habit of cancelling on the day and has done for years so I’ve been expecting the cancelling message. As predicted at 7am this morning I get the message “sorry will have to drop out tonight, I have terrible diarrhoea 😞”

I reply “ok no worries x” (as I said, I was expecting it) and then for whatever reason she sent another message saying “I was worried you would think I was making it up so I took this … “

she then sent me a photo of her used (and very abused!) toilet 🤮 I replied “didn’t need to see that lol” and I didn’t hear back.

5 minutes ago she sent another photo of the toilet in a state saying “it’s not stopping 😭”

now I’m grossed out! But clearly she’s not making it up! I’m wondering if I’ve gave her the impression that I never believe her?! Was there anything wrong in my initial reply? DH thinks I should have told her I hope she’s feeling better soon but honestly - I didn’t believe she was genuinly ill

For context, she’s cancelled plans on me (including attending my wedding!) for well over 20 years

I think we all have friends like this, I had one. Had another that would keep you waiting an hour, sometimes more. She must have gotten up to get ready once you pulled up outside her house. I don’t bother with either of them now.

I suspect she knows you think she’s making it up so decided to prove it. It must be obvious to them that it doesn’t go unnoticed they pull out half the time! You would think so anyway! Sending you photos is gross!

That’s utterly revolting

That’s fucking grim, and I would tell her so!

Your friend knows she has form for pulling out with no real reason and wanted to point out that wasn’t the case this time, but honestly the way to be believed is to not lie all the time!

It’s very unnecessary but I would say she thinks you didn’t believe her. Or possibly she just think you have the sort of friendship where it’s normal so talk about this kind of thing openly.

Grim! I suspect that for once she has a genuine reason and so wants to provide proof to show she isn't flaky and that those other cancellations were true to. But yes, properly grim and not needed!

Do you want me to post the photo on here??!

That's absolutely repellent. Tell her you'd rather she lied to you about being ill than send you photos of her toilet covered in excrement.

But that aside, I would not bother making plans if she always cancels.

Maybe she has stress issues? Irritable Bowel when something is on is a thing.

An old colleague of mine sent a pic like that to work as proof they were ill. 🤢 definitely happens.

Not unreasonable not to believe her, given she has such long-standing form for flakiness.

(I'd also be highly suspicious the disgusting photos are in fact some random stock photos, but I concede I may be more sceptical than most)

My thought was that if she has form for cancelling it might be anxiety induced illness.

It was definitely her bathroom 🤮

My initial thought is that she's just used Google to find some gross pictures, but I suppose you'd recognise the bathroom?
Or she's chucked some soup or something down the loo and taken a picture.

I don't know whaaats going on but obviously it's gross and not exactly normal 😂

She sounds deranged. How utterly repulsive!

I’ve had a few friends like this over the years. I always make sure I never make plans where I’m solely relying on them, so when they inevitably cancel it doesn’t matter too much, which you probably do too. I think your message was fine- when someone does this all the time they have to accept that you’re not going to be gushing about hoping they’re better soon. I would send a message saying ‘Sending sympathy but please never send me a photo like this again!!’

Maybe it's a cry for help/immodium.

Yeah. It's disgusting that she shared that with you. So you decide to share it with everyone else. Thanks.

I do think your reply was quite short and to the point but considering she has form for this, then I think it’s good that you did reply like that.

Although it’s gross, I also think it’s good she’s shown you proof.
Considering this happens a lot, then you may have thought she was lying (as you say you expected it before she even said it).

It is good that she’s aware that she lets people down a lot and it’s good to know that she’s letting people down for a genuine reason.

I wonder if she gets anxiety or something which triggers an upset stomach.

I would reply with something like “eww that’s gross! I hope you feel better soon”.

It’s rather over egging the pudding isn’t it. You don’t need to see “proof”. If you must tell lies, less is more x

Sorry, but that’s revolting. Not sure any friend of mine would do that… and till be my friend.

Has she done anything like this before? Pics of her heavy period, thrush or other random bodily issues?

Personally, I wouldn't have replied with LOL from your reply below. Instead of LOL I would have put a vomiting emoji.
'didn’t need to see that lol”

I mean who texts someone at 7am, on a bank holiday plus sends pics of their shit when you might be eating breakfast! Revolting.

I could t be friends with someone who sent me such revolting photos and would block her on everything and never speak to her again.

That's downright disgusting.

Why would you want to be friends with such a low life?

This is totally unhinged behaviour from her.

TBH you both know she bails and she wanted to prove to you that she was genuine this time.

I wouldn’t send a picture of my shit splattered loo to anyone but if I got one, I’d laugh it off and just tell her please not send anymore and which her better. I wouldn’t get on the internet to express disgust. Thanks for giving me a giggle though!