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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To report myself to 101 even though I'm not sure I did anything?

61 replies

anxiousmumy · 28/03/2024 22:33

I'm a new and very very anxious driver and got close to some parked cars (narrow street) when I heard an unfamiliar noise. I didn't think much of it at first as it wasn't loud,but as I got home five ish minutes later it occurred to me that maybe I could have scraped one of the parked cars or clipped a wing mirror.

I'm now stressing that if I have I can get done for fleeing the scene and losing my license. I still have time to be within the 24 hours if I self report to 101.

Dh thinks I'm being ridiculous and says I'd know if I hit something - I'd have felt it, and no marks on my car (well, new ones. Second hand car.) He says if I report to 101 then they could pin something along that road on me that I had nothing to do with. I'd have to do it behind his back as he made it clear he'd be furious. I do get where he's coming from as I have before thought a sound was something it wasn't, and I automatically jump to worst case scenario.

If I do report, will it have an impact on my insurance does anyone know? Will they know about it if nothing came from it?

Please be gentle ish on me

OP posts:
Hiddenvoice · 28/03/2024 22:37

I think if there’s no damage to your car then it’s unlikely you’ve damaged any other cars.
Could you drive back along the street to double check the other cars? It might give you some reassurance!

Mummame2222 · 28/03/2024 22:39

I used to be like this!!!! You’re absolutely fine, honestly. You’d have known at the time. It’s a distinctive sound when you’ve hit something.

anxiousmumy · 28/03/2024 22:39

Hiddenvoice · 28/03/2024 22:37

I think if there’s no damage to your car then it’s unlikely you’ve damaged any other cars.
Could you drive back along the street to double check the other cars? It might give you some reassurance!

They're mainly shops so likely to just be parked for a short while there, sadly :(

OP posts:
anxiousmumy · 28/03/2024 22:40

Mummame2222 · 28/03/2024 22:39

I used to be like this!!!! You’re absolutely fine, honestly. You’d have known at the time. It’s a distinctive sound when you’ve hit something.

Can you describe the sound? Is it loud? I had music on but not very loud..

OP posts:
Lovelyview · 28/03/2024 22:40

Don't worry. It's possible you pinged a wing mirror but they're designed to be flexible and not scratch so you won't have damaged anything.

Ohffsbarbara · 28/03/2024 22:41

No, your anxiety is causing you to overthink this. You could’ve gone over a drinks can or the noise could’ve come from your own car.

If there were cameras and you’d clipped someone you wouldn’t get your licence taken anyway! If the police got in contact (highly unlikely) just say you didn’t realise and you’d swap insurance details with the other party.

SidewaysOtter · 28/03/2024 22:41

Honestly, don’t worry. If you’d scraped a car or clipped a wing mirror you’d KNOW because it makes a bloody awful loud noise. Far louder than you’d think!

You probably just went over something on the road, it’s very windy at the moment and there’s all sorts of debris around. I drove home tonight with all sorts of stuff - twigs, rubbish etc - being thrown up under my car as I drove over it and making a noise.

Your DH is right, don’t call 101. The rozzers will not be knocking down your door for this Flowers

SidewaysOtter · 28/03/2024 22:43

Lovelyview · 28/03/2024 22:40

Don't worry. It's possible you pinged a wing mirror but they're designed to be flexible and not scratch so you won't have damaged anything.

I agree, I had someone wallop my wing mirror when I was parked and sitting in the car. It made a hell of a noise but it was just folded back, like they’re designed to do.

And anyone who lives with narrow street parking know that the odd scuffed wing mirror is just normal!

neilyoungismyhero · 28/03/2024 22:43

You might have hit a wing mirror which flipped in, which is what they're supposed to do. Honestly don't concern yourself. If you're this nervy perhaps driving isn't for you.

Servalan · 28/03/2024 22:45

The "what if" nature of your post has me wondering whether you get anxious and wonder "what if" about other things, OP?

As an OCD sufferer, the tone and wording of your OP strikes a chord.

Mummame2222 · 28/03/2024 22:46

anxiousmumy · 28/03/2024 22:40

Can you describe the sound? Is it loud? I had music on but not very loud..

No, I can’t describe. You have an anxiety problem, not a car one. Honestly by looking for so much reassurance you’re fuelling your anxiety and making it worse.

You haven’t hit any thing, you’re fine. Try some meditation and mindfulness and try to get some sleep.

ScarlettSunset · 28/03/2024 22:46

You'd definitely know if you scraped another car. The noise is SO loud even for a tiny scratch.

kitnkaboodle · 28/03/2024 22:49

Another one here who hears familiar signs of OCD here. It's very hard to resist checking/double checking/trying to make amends but, honestly, the best and healthiest thing you can do here, OP, is to move on and not rake over it.

LumpyKat · 28/03/2024 22:51

Get yourself a dashcam, doesn’t cost much £100 or so I paid for mine. If you are that anxious you can go and check to reassure yourself. Will also be very useful proving fault of you do happen to have a prang involving another driver.

WandaWonder · 28/03/2024 23:01

If you act like this you need to stop driving you could kill someone if you can't drive safely without panicking please stay off the roads

anxiousmumy · 28/03/2024 23:03

WandaWonder · 28/03/2024 23:01

If you act like this you need to stop driving you could kill someone if you can't drive safely without panicking please stay off the roads

I didn't panic when I was driving.
I think this is quite an unfair comment.

OP posts:
WandaWonder · 28/03/2024 23:13

anxiousmumy · 28/03/2024 23:03

I didn't panic when I was driving.
I think this is quite an unfair comment.

Well if you don't nothing to worry about then

MarmotMorning · 28/03/2024 23:24

As previous posters have said, this has signs of OCD. Do you often have similar worries where you need to check, seek reassurance or you think you have done something bad/ illegal?

withgraceinmyheart · 28/03/2024 23:34

Another OCD sufferer here, and your post struck a chord with me too.

I hope you’re ok and able to move past these thoughts and get a good nights sleep.

MissPeachyKeen · 29/03/2024 00:06

I remember being just the same as a new driver. No OCD but carrying the mental scars from a couple of horrific accidents meant that it took me a couple of years to gain confidence.

It doesn't sound as though you did anything wrong so please try to stop worrying x

Mummyofbananas · 29/03/2024 00:37

anxiousmumy · 28/03/2024 22:40

Can you describe the sound? Is it loud? I had music on but not very loud..

I once knocked my own wing mirror off and honestly for a second thought someone had shot at me- it was a surprisingly loud bang.

BobbyBiscuits · 29/03/2024 00:48

You don't know that you hit something. If you did damage you'd know.
I guess if there's cameras but don't preempt the idea you've done something wrong when there's no evidence you did. 'I think I damaged a car or cars along X road, I don't know which ones or to what extent'
I don't think it's sensible.

Sapphire387 · 29/03/2024 01:08

Come now, OP.

Read this back.

Are you really going to call the police and say you were driving along a road and thought you heard a noise and might have hit something but you're really not sure if you did or didn't?

What do you think the police would say to that?

Whatatodo79 · 29/03/2024 01:14

Don't waste police time OP, get yourself together

rubydoobydoo · 29/03/2024 01:17

101 call handler here- and you can if you REALLY want to, but it would go down as a non-attend low priority job and just get closed straight away. It wouldn't even get investigated - because there's nothing to investigate!

I would shove an incident on and take your details, and give you an incident number to reassure you that you have done the right thing, and it wouldn't go any further than that. But you really don't have to as it would be a waste of both of our time!