Partners kid handover

[Owzat46]

Partner and I recently bought a house so we could live together. Her eldest is 17 and the handover is on a Friday night. I enjoy having this routine and structure and as much as I adore her kids, I love my Friday evenings just with my partner.

Occasionally he asks if he can stay an extra night, for example if he wants to go out into town. I wouldn't mind, but she agrees without asking me first.

Am I being unreasonable in thinking it would be polite to ask me as a courtesy? I wouldn't dream of saying no and I'm pretty sure she knows that.

It's his home, he doesn't need permission to be there.

Very unreasonable. This is what you signed up for having a partner with kids. Both parents houses are ‘home’, it’s bad enough your partner’s child has to ask for another night as if they’re an inconvenience.

Please try to think about what it's like for the 17 year old to have to ask their parent to stay at their own home and know that it has to be run passed another adult who's not blood related to them and hasn't been on their lives that long. Can you see how unsettling that could be? Even if you did always say yes it would give you so much more power over a child on their own home.

You are being completely and totally unreasonable. She should never had to ask permission if her child can stay. It’s his house too.