Family visit

[StrangerThings1992]

So, we have family that live in Scotland and we tend to visit them a few times a year and they would come to us maybe once a year. My sister in law told me the other day they are coming to visit in a few weeks fri-mon. Now I used to live in a much larger property but had to downsize. In my old property I had a really large kitchen/dining room and all the rooms were well spaced apart whereas my new property is so small, my kitchen is less than a quarter of the size of my old one, no space for dining table. Not even in the living room, we have to eat on trays on the sofa, bedrooms are small. There's me, my partner and 3 children.
There are 2 adults and 4 kids but them visiting wasn't much of an issue in the old house as there was lots of space but I still found it really overwhelming and couldn't wait for them to leave. The thought of them coming here to my tiny house and having 11 people here for 3 days is causing me so much stress. The kids are all loud and wild too.

I am autistic too and my home is my safe space and I like my routine and the thought of having all the chaos around me is making me really upset.
Am I being unreasonable to tell them not to come as we don't have space?

I feel like it's going to cause a load of drama.

Thanks for reading

[Serenity45]

I assume they know you've moved to a smaller property? Do they realise how small it is? I think something along the lines of this would be fine

"We'd love to see you but you're probably aware we can't host as usual due to our new home being tiny. Do you need us to look up hotels / air bnbs / whatever for you all?"

It's only drama if you engage with it. Keep it simple and factual. It doesn't have to be about cancelling their visit just that you can't accommodate them

[ComtesseDeSpair]

Just tell her that since downsizing you no longer have the space to put everyone up and they’ll need to make other arrangements. Look up some local AirB&Bs. If you’ve always had a habit of visiting and staying with each other she probably just hasn’t really thought about the logistics.

[StrangerThings1992]

Yes she knows we've downsized.
Also we have a sofa bed in the living room that me and my partner would have to sleep on and you have to walk through the living room and kitchen to get to the toilet so if anyone needed the toilet during the night they would have to walk past us sleeping which makes me feel really uncomfortable and if we slept upstairs and gave them the sofa bed I would feel equally uncomfortable having to walk past them while their sleeping.

[StrangerThings1992]

They're**

[cheddercherry]

Surely you ask someone first not just tell them you’re coming?! That in itself is rude to be honest to assume they can just descend.

I’d just be upfront and say really sorry but you just don’t have the room to accommodate people in your new house. Better than having them come and there be constant conflict and stress.

[TheFlis]

Just tell them you don’t have space for guests to say any more. Could you offer to split the cost of a hotel or Airbnb with them?

[Birch101]

Sorry but 4 adults and 7 children can't share one toilet for the weekend.

Can't wait to see you, where are you staying and I'll look up some activities nearby

[Daffodilsarentfluffy]

Just get dh to send them links to local Airbnb places.

[StrangerThings1992]

Thanks everyone.
I told them they'll have to find alternate accommodation as we just don't have the space.
Don't think they were happy about it but i feel so relieved.