Can't shake jealousy

[kcchiefette]

Hi all

I have been to uni in the past and did social sciences which I hadn't used and my career took a different path.

I am in a relatively well paid job in a professional setting. I have flexibility with my hours that suit with being a single mum.

A few years back, I knew I wanted to be a midwife. It was almost like a calling. Despite going to uni, I didnt have the entry requirements for midwifery so went back to college part time to obtain the qualifications etc. I had help at the time from my partner who lived with me as I was able to attend college at night whilst he watched DS.

Everyone in my family knew this was what I was going to college for.

Anyhow, I got one of my qualifications and had to do another year getting another one. My partner and I split, so it wasnt feasible to go to college and the job itself wouldn't have been possible (in the longer term) without someone to help out.

A few months after I had to stop my studies, which upset me, my sister decided she all of a sudden wanted to be a midwife, and go back to college. She's a full time mum and has a partner living with her to support.

All she has done is talk about her studies, her uni application process etc. How she "always wanted to do this" yet its the first I have heard of it.

She put in her uni application and is awaiting a response back on it and again, its all she talks about.

I still have a dream that one day, I will be able to complete studies and do it but the constant talking from my sister on it just makes me feel sad and almost like a failure as I didnt have a chance to.

I feel insanely jealous. If I was to go into midwifery, I would be taking a lower salary but it was always something I wanted to do.

How do I get over this jealousy and feel happy for my sister instead?

I think you have to just keep telling yourself that people can do whatever they choose, anyone can do whatever job they like if they have the means to do it. I do understand your frustration though and I'd feel sad and jealous myself in this situation. But you can't put that on your sister.

But it wasn't something you "always" wanted to do, you only realised a few years back, as you went to uni for something else. Why can't you fathom your sister felt the same calling you did? I completely understand and appreciate how difficult this must be for you, when your sister is accomplishing something you wanted and tried to achieve before her, I 100% sympathise with those feelings (and the fact it feels unfair she has the support to do this quicker than yourself). But your OP comes across as if you find it incredulous your sister wants to do this and almost implies she might be doing it because of you (kinda like a "she stole my dream" situation). You can both have the same dream and goals, the world doesn't have a limited amount of space for midwifes (if anything more are desperately neeeded)!

Try and look at the bright side, she's doing everything you need to be doing in future when your DS is hopefully a bit older and you have more time on your hands and her knowledge will be extremely valuable to you both while studying and in the early years of your career!

How are you doing now OP?