to not know what I need to do to take a break/pick myself up

[time4tea]

I've just spectacularly failed a mock driving test... DH does his best to be comforting but I feel so put upon and demoralised by a raft of things at home - the housework (plenty of arguments about who does what) tiredness (DSs 4 and 1, often awake at night, which DH sleeps through) and just feeling drab and out of sorts (am still 3 stone overweight after DS2 which DH makes a few pointed remarks about reasonably frequently) that I feel so undermined by him I don't want his sympathy and support... I suppose things not being absolutely ticketty-boo is just how life is but I feel so demoralised and lacking support, I don't know where to start in picking myself up, having a break, and sorting these things out a bit so I can enjoy the good things I have.

I'm 37 next week and I just think - surely I should be a bit more with it, a bit more on top of things..?

on the plus side, I do have the most magnificent and adorable DSs. plus other good things.

but when things get a bit tricky and demoralising, how do we get some comfort, a bit of a break, re-fuelling? most people would say - you need a holiday - but that is just not feasible.

IMO YANBU!

I am a little older than you and have 3 children, 4 if you include DH, who are all incredibly messy and blinkered who care not what state their clothes/house/general belongings are in, but I DO! I know I should not but its £££s before my eyes when yet another thing goes astray or gets broken!

DH is ok, but very much the "Just ask and I will do it" type, and even then procrastinates so much I want to beat him long and hard with a wet kipper.

What I do, is book lunch with friends, once a year I go away for an overnight spa break with said friends, and just chill out. Its a recent thing this tho, and its also easier since Xmas to get out for lunch as my youngest is at nursery every afternoon.

Do you have anyone who would like to watch your boys while you have some You Time? Even a hair cut/manicure, regularly might help?
xx

Might you just be really bored? I only ask because when I'm bored I feel really bloody depressed, and the only way I can snap out of it is by doing something completely unusual, like going somewhere I've never been before to rekindle my mind a little. It's easy to get stuck in a rut, you just need a jump-start.

Oh, and get a rota for the housework and mid-night baby issues!

As for the mock test - it's only a mock, I spectacularly failed my first mock by getting 'fail' marks on 11 different occasions! I still went on to pass my test two weeks later with just the 1 minor!

It's very easy to get yourself totally overwhelmed with the mundanity that being amum can sometimes mean. Sure there are moments when it's truely wonderful but then other times you just feel 'where have I gone?'

Agree with others who have suggested taking a couple of hours each week to do something just for you. Get rotas for night feeds and housework. And if it would help YOU (and YOU not your dh) then try and lose some weight. If this wouldn't help you then buy yourself some nice (don't have to be expensive) clothes that flatter your new shape and make you feel good about yourself.

Good luck x

And forget the mock driving test. Most of DH's pupils fail the 'mock' he sets them. He spends the next couple of lessons picking up on the points and I'd say almost 95% of them go on to pass their tests

Also - tell DH that yes, you are overweight. He has a small and unatisfying penis. YOU can diet....

And forget the mock driving test. Most of DH's pupils fail the 'mock' he sets them. He spends the next couple of lessons picking up on the points and I'd say almost 95% of them go on to pass their tests

Also - tell DH that yes, you are overweight. He has a small and unatisfying penis. YOU can diet....

Message withdrawn

I would've crashed on the way to my test had my tutor not ripped the stearing wheel out of my hands!

pmsl at 'tell DH that yes, you are overweight. He has a small and unatisfying penis. YOU can diet....'

PMSL too at these messages - thanks ladies, you are great

I am losing weight, but fairly slowly and not making a big deal about it - as I put a lot of effort into trying, felt miserable (I love food) and knackered (ffs, we need our energy! What Weightwatchers let you have is gnat-rations) - am making slow sure progress on GI diet.

first step is chilling out - the thing is, I'm not a great one for spas.. any other tips for relaxing completely?

thanks again - MN totally rules

Again to say not to worry about the mock test, I thought Id do fab in mine but my god afterwards I contemplated cancelling my test as itd gone so badly, it really knocked my confidence and I wondered what the frig I was doing. Anyway I passed my test a couple of weeks later! You will too.

What did you enjoy doing when you had more free time? What do you think you might have an interest in? Have you thought about an evening class? Evening groups eg keep fit? Im hoping to sort the gardens out when the weather is warmer, maybe see them as a 'project' for me to get stuck into. Anything like that you could do? Maybe try running? Thats another thing Id like to try and get into after Ive had this baby.

Maybe just by going for a good walk by yourself and getting some fresh air you could sort your head out a bit. Hows your diet? I find if I eat badly then my moods arent great either.

I find it difficult to remember who I was before I became a mum and housewife, and I really find it difficult sometimes - combined with a lack of confidence its easy to put yourself down isnt it. I used to love art and wanted to get back into it recently but dont think Im any good so havent yet bothered. Think I just have to decide what I want to do, and sod what anyone else thinks!

Spas?! Noooo I meant go for a trip to a castle or something, spas are for ponces!

The GI diet really worked for my partner and I, you should stick with it.

Exercise (even just a walk) will always make you feel better.
Guaranteed

Message withdrawn