To ask DH to cut down screen time

[CKing1982]

Been with DH for 20 years, married for 12. He has always been into his tech but over the years has become more and more dependent on it. It seems like every moment he is either on laptop, tablet or phone and does a lot of double screening in front of the TV.

I don't like to dictate what he does it how he spends his time but I do think it's affecting our family life.When he's on a screen he is only half paying attention to whoever else is in the room whether that's me, the kids or visitors. Most nights we sit there and I try to have a conversation but get very little back. When I've mentioned this he gets angry and says it's what he likes doing to relax.

We don't have an emotional connection anymore and part of this has to be down to the fact we don't talk much. He rarely starts up a conversation. And when we do talk he doesn't look at me, it's always at a screen. The worse part is he does this to the kids as well.

I've even suggested going out just the two of us so we could have some quality time together in the hope it will help improve things. He always says no and that he'd rather relax at home at the end of a day watching tv. I don't want this to come between us so I'm scared of mentioning it again but am scared that eventually it will was to the complete breakdown of our relationship.

Poor you. This is awful and no way for you to live.

My DP does this. Double screens with something on the TV he vaguely wants to watch (but looking at ipad as well) and I'm not bothered about but I can't tune out.
I haven't worked out what to do about it as I'd have to come up with a completely different viewing plan and our tastes are not the same.

feel sorry for you. For me its not so much what he's watching. TBF we take it in turns to choose. It's the fact that there's no interaction betwen us. Some nights I will switch the tv off because three's nothing on but then he'll turn it back on just for some background noise. I'd rather have music on for background noise so it doesnt take our focus away from each other so much.

My DH is a nightmare for once he has his phone in his hand he doesn't pay a lot of attention, so when I want to talk to him or our DD is trying to get his attention (11Mo) and things, I ask him to please out his phone away. He likes to play on the PlayStation which is in our living room, we have a rule though he gets to play but not to ignore me, if I ask him a question etc I get an answer. He might be stroppy with me sometimes for the phone thing, but I let him and tell him straight "you were ignoring me/us for your phone again". Try thr direct approach...okay so you like to relax on your phone, that doesn't mean you get to tune out of either being my DH or their DP.

Thank you, that is such a great response and made me feel that there might be light at the end of the tunnel. We're having such a difficult time at the moment for this and other reasons, but responses on this thread and others have spurred me into action.

I've suggested similar things in the past and do a lot of those things myself, but its good to hear them from someone else. Definitely some ideas I can try. Thank you again so much!